Lefebure.com / Articles / The Most Interesting Farmer in the World

Some time ago, I came up with the idea of an interesting farmer that has unique (and sometimes absurd) situations. The character is loosely based on the Dos Equis' Most Interesting Man in the World.

He can load hogs onto a semi truck using only voice commands, typically in less time than it takes the truck driver to put his shit kicker boots on. Some say he has trained a herd of cattle to play soccer in the feed lot, but is being paid off by PETA not to show them publicly. A local bookie says the charolais heifers are winning most of the games this year. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once built an auto-steer system for a tractor, just to show the other manufacturers how to properly build one. To this day, they cannot comprehend the simplicity. FFA women flock to him at the State Fair. He now tours the livestock buildings at the end of the day to minimize the disruption. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In 2006 he set the record for "most acres plowed in 24 hours". He used a John Deere 4020 and a 5 bottom plow. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is no longer allowed to compete in tractor pulls. His tractor has pulled the hook and chain off of 7 skids. On more than one occasion, he has pulled the skid completely around the track and parked it at the start line for the next puller. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once closed a bridge over the Missouri river despite not having a permit to do so. No fines were issued. Some say that he has discovered a way to put cancer into remission using a byproduct of corn ethanol, but he lost the patent to Barrack Obama in a game of Texas Hold ‘em 3 years ago. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

It was his idea to name the energy drink “Red Bull” by that name. Supposedly the idea was sparked from watching a Red Angus bull he owned that was, um, faster than the other bulls. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In early 2002 he was in the UK, driving a rented Lamborghini Murcielago around an airport runway. The event was accidentally filmed. This marked the start of his run as The [black] Stig on the show Top Gear. He was replaced by white Stig after 2 seasons, as he didn’t like the frequent airplane trips to the UK. He is … the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has many connections with political elites, and thus has a lifetime exemption from the Tier-IV engine emission requirements. His new Case IH Magnum is scheduled to be built in January, and it will be the only one without urea injection. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He was once challenged to an insect eating competition by Bear Grylls. Bear forfeited after a round of fire ants. They are now good friends, and occasionally exchange recipes. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is not allowed at the Strip club in his home town due to an incident last year where all the strippers sat down at his table and ignored the other customers. Despite this, he isn’t bothered because “They weren’t as cute as the FFA ladies”. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he is bored, he does spherical calculus, just to keep his mind fresh. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has traveled to numerous third world countries to help them improve their crop production methods. In 2005, the US Congress voted unanimously to modify the Logan Act so it didn’t apply to him. Since then, he has negotiated with the presidents of 17 countries to make basic medicine readily available in rural areas. He is now good friends with Jakaya Kikwete, president of Tanzania. They play chess in January every year. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He used to ride bulls at the rodeo until he had a disagreement with the judges over his score. The videos later showed he was right, but the judges wouldn’t admit it. That was his last bull ride. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

After the rodeo incident, he decided to get away from the opinion of judges. He now does something similar to calf roping, except with large cats. Mostly mountain lions, but there is one picture of him next to a hogtied jaguar. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In 2008, he found a way to use geothermal heat to pump water for flood irrigation on crop land. The patent was sold in 2010 to a pivot irrigation manufacturer that will remain unnamed, and they subsequently shelved it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Ever since a cattle branding incident at age 10, he has worn steel-toe shoes exclusively. Not surprisingly, he has never lost a game of kickball. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is on the EPA's do-not-ask-questions list. You probably didn't know they had such a list, did you? He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some say that he has a field with a CSR (Corn Suitability Rating) of 107. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has been in New York City three times to meet with the United Nations. The details of those meetings will be declassified in the year 2057. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The DOT has been known to pull him over and weigh his truck when they need to calibrate their scales. He always knows exactly what his truck weighs just based on how the engine is pulling. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some say that in April 2009 he booked 10 years worth of off-highway Diesel. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His pickup truck is an orange 1982 Dodge Ram with a large super-charged engine. The truck is so fast that when he sees an accident about to happen, he can accelerate through the fabric of space/time and be past the accident before it happens. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he goes prowling for ladies at the bar, he brings his lasso. The ladies go wild when they see his calf-roping skills. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can wear boots and a cowboy hat to a biker bar on a Saturday night, and that's just the way it is. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he was in veterinary school, he usually volunteered to take on tasks that nobody else wanted. He is one of only 4 people in the US that will do dental work on Alligators and Crocodiles. Many of the zoos around the country have his phone number on file in case of an emergency. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Ever pissed on an electric fence? He has, many times. Usually under the pretense of a bet with city folk. There is a trick to it - don't stand too close. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he mends a barbed wire fence, he doesn't wear gloves. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Someone once unsuccessfully attempted to mug him in Chicago while on a visit to the CBOT. The mugger was found in a park - hog-tied, immunized, castrated, and with a fresh cattle-branding burn. Despite being suspected of involvement, the authorities were unable to find a branding iron, and DNA testing on his pocket knife only found livestock DNA. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he goes to a land auction, he usually brings along his cousin Vinny. Word on the street is that Vinny has ties to the Mafia. What we do know is that Vinny is very good at sign language, if you know what I mean. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has written more books than Rick Perry and Mitt Romney combined. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Every vehicle he owns is 4 wheel drive, even his lawn mower. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Like many people, he enjoys snowmobiling in the winter months. During the winter of 2004-2005 he rode from Maine to Alaska, across the Bering Sea, through Russia, and ended in Germany. The trip was nearly 14,000 miles. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some say that he has trained a herd of badgers to install sub-surface drainage tile. This is particularly useful during the growing season so as not to disrupt the crop on top. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He was once pulled over by the DOT while driving a combine on the road. He let the officer go with just a warning. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

PETA once held a protest at the entrance to his ranch. He grilled steak and sweetcorn for them, and they loved it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he invites a lady back to his place, it isn't to watch a movie. It's to make one. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Every harvest season, he intentionally leaves one bushel of corn in a pile in one of his fields that borders a paved road. It gives his neighbors something to talk about. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has delivered corn to the pit at the CBOT, and they accepted it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has been known to bring a knife to a gun fight, just to keep things fair. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He uses Google Earth to keep an eye on his herd. Google's satellite flies over his ranch every 87 minutes capturing new imagery. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some say that Wrangler makes a special cut of blue jean just for him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Other than a lawn mower, his general purpose yard machine is an excavator. Need to till the garden? Get the excavator out. Need to trim the trees - excavator. Need to aerate the lawn? Excavator can do that too. Need to clean the gutters on the house. You guessed it, excavator. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The Nobel Peace Prize organization has tried to give him an award for agricultural innovation in third world countries, but he has declined it, twice. He said humanitarianism is the reward. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

You know when China buys soybeans from the US - who do you think handles this side of the transaction? He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has an explosives license, which allows him to purchase and use dynamite. He claims it is for removing trees and rocks, but the neighbors say his annual 4th of July party is not to be missed. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

If you were to walk a mile in his shoes, never mind, that's not going to happen. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The automotive sport of drifting is generally practiced using powerful rear-wheel-drive cars, although it is possible to drift many other types of vehicles. For example, it is possible to drift a 30,000 pound combine. I've seen it done. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He keeps an AR-15 and several thousand rounds of ammunition in his ROTH IRA. You read that right, in an IRA. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The third business he started was making and selling scented candles ... for men. Scents include things such as 'Spring Tillage' and 'Diesel Exhaust', but his personal favorite is 'Fresh Cut Alfalfa'. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Have you ever overheated the shanks on a deep ripper by driving too fast in the field? The friction generated during tillage is amazing. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His autobiography ends with the line: "The cow did not survive the explosion." He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he feeds out a pig that he is going to butcher himself, he will supplement the pig's diet with BBQ sauce and hickory saw-dust. That is part of the secret to his famous BBQ pulled pork; the flavor goes all the way through. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Mexican drug lords will not go anywhere near his ranch in south Texas. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn't go to Washington DC often, but when he does, it is a direct flight on a chartered airplane, and usually just for the day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One time in college, prior to a class starting, he was using the white board to explain something to a few fellow students. The teacher came in to the classroom during the lesson, and without saying a word, took a seat with the other students. Class started a little late that day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he goes deer hunting, he doesn't take a gun, he takes a saddle. He catches the deer by hand, to give it a sporting chance. Then he puts the saddle on and rides it home. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

It has been said that a Halloween hay-rack ride at his farm is more fun than licking honey off of Katy Perry ... unless you can do both at the same time, which happened in 2009. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is no longer allowed at the 'Running of the Bulls' in Spain. The only time he ever attended, when the race was done, they were all steers. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn't often bale idiot-cubes, but when he does, he stacks them 8 high to save time. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has won trophies for his ability to set a combine. In every test, his grain loss has been zero. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once calculated the square root of Pi in his head using roman numerals, just to be certain that it can be done. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he is busy in the field, he sticks to simple meals that can be easily eaten on-the-go such as soup, BBQ ribs, fresh lobster, and buffalo wings. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some say he has an IQ of 300, but that it doesn't show up in conversation because his mind is constantly calculating optimum nitrogen rates per square foot, based on statistical probabilities of rain and sun during the next growing season. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

You know those pictures where the US president and other top officials are sitting around a table for some important meeting? Ever seen a guy with Wranglers at one of those meetings? No, you haven't. The media isn't allowed into those meetings. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His tractor driving skills are so incredible that if you tried to record it with a video camera, the camera would overheat. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His resourcefulness was the inspiration for the TV show 'MacGyver'. He can start a fire with nothing more than toothpaste and rice. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

For Halloween he dresses like Jonathan Goldsmith. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn't store corn on the cab roof of his combine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His dog has caught multiple raccoons, while chained up. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once won a game of Texas Hold'em with a 2 and a 7. However, the pot was small, just 17 head of cattle. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

After he eats a meal in the field, he uses a foxtail stem as a toothpick. He has never had a cavity in his adult teeth. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His work truck has a PTO and four hydraulic remotes. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He built a grain vac that can move 20,000 bushels per hour. His neighbors call it the 'Nickelback'. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is allowed to talk about fight club, although he rarely does. He prefers to talk about things such as the effects of rising socioeconomic status on energy consumption in third world countries, multi-parallelism in embedded systems, and string theory. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When his combine stops working correctly, he reboots it, and then it works fine again. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He keeps a picture of his QuadTrac ... in his QuadTrac, so he can remember how awesome it looks while he is driving it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is the reason that beef is what's for dinner. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His pocket knife is the envy of solders around the world. His belt buckle, the envy of rodeo champions. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

If he submitted a resume for a graphics design position, printed in Comic Sans, he would still get the job. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he sees someone driving a car with low profile tires, he laughs. They usually say something about improved handling, which is when he shows them a picture of his 1923 J.I. Case tractor with rubber coated steel wheels. Then he shows them a picture of his Formula One car, and then asks them which one they think handles better. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Of all the commodities he deals with, the most valuable is his time. It is the only one that, once spent, he cannot get back. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Ladies say that he gives hot, fiery kisses that satisfy, yet leaves them wanting more. They also say that on a moon-lit night, he is the very definition of the word 'suave'. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

If he were in a James Bond film, the name of his character would be Mr. Goldacre. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he grills a steak, it doesn't need steak sauce. If you attempted to pour steak sauce on one of his steaks, you'd be bluntly asked to leave. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He buys Dodge Ram pickup trucks because of the 100,000 mile warranty. His current truck has just over 74,000 miles on it. It's 13 months old. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He shuts the combine off at 11:00 PM. After that he loads a truck with dry corn and drives 3 hours to the river terminal. He dumps the corn and parks in line to load dry fertilizer. By now it is 2 AM. He sets his alarm clock for 5:50 AM since the fertilizer place starts loading trucks at 6:00. By 6:30 he's loaded and back on the road. At 9:30 AM he's home, dumps the fertilizer, and crawls back into the combine. For him, this is just another day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In his world, there are no weekdays. There are no weekends. There are only rainy days and sunny days. Except for Tuesdays, which is when he has a weekly conference call with the DOD strategists. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His Christmas tree is lit exclusively with Xenon lights. It will cast a shadow at 1 mile. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In his mailbox is a large electromagnet, some capacitors, and some custom sound processing boards. When activated, the system listens for excessive bass levels and will blast a short magnetic pulse at the offending vehicle as it drives by. The resulting magnetic field produces a voltage spike in the car's radio, which makes the audio stop playing. He likes peace and quiet at night. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he goes Christmas shopping, it's one trip to Theisens. According to him, "If Theisens ain't got it, you don't need it". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can swap out the rotor gearbox on a 2388 in under an hour, but that's a snails pace compared to doing an emergency sled rebuild for Santa while on the Christmas run. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world. Also, this year he noticed that Dasher is preggo and asked Santa who the bull was. Santa didn't know she was carrying and neither did Dasher. That was an awkward moment.

It is unknown how he rings in the new year. He literally drops off the grid during one of the last days of December, and turns up somewhere else 4-10 days later. Last year he had been missing for 5 days when he was found tuning a fleet of combines in Australia. The year before that, he was finally located in one of the rougher parts of Baghdad. He had apparently been teaching the locals how to make Lasagna and other Italian dishes. The year before that, he deboarded a LNG carrier at the Panama Canal on January 3rd. The ship's Captain reported that while they had been at sea for 15 days, this additional passenger showed up just 4 days earlier, and was of "significant assistance" during a severe storm that nearly capsized the ship. His undocumented travel activity drives the FBI mad, since they like to think they're pretty good at investigating stuff. They simply want to study his international travel methods to get new ideas for reducing the trade of contraband. The FBI has given him the nickname of Waldo Houdini. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The last sporting event he was at was a game between the Green Bay Packers and the Chicago Bulls. Being the honorary guest, he threw the first pitch. In case you're wondering, the Packers won with 5-under-par. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn't always stay up until the wee hours of the morning, but when he does, he is usually counting ridiculously large quantities of small, unmarked bills. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He rarely does Karaoke, but when he does, it is really something to see. There are stories about the time when he did a Bluegrass version of 2Pac's California Love, and the audience gave him a standing ovation. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Ford makes a special version of the F350 just for him. The most significant changes are a foot-operated hydro-stat transmission, 12,000 lb axles, and crab steering. The hydro is especially useful when plowing snow. It has a top speed of only 85 MPH, but can do that in both forward and reverse. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When the USPS is unable to deliver mail due to sleet or snow, they call him. He gets the horses and sleigh out of the barn and delivers the mail for everyone in his township. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can provide so much cowbell that Christopher Walken once told him to turn it down a notch. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He actually bought one of those Balzer 2000 bushel grain carts. He needed a seed tender that could keep up with his planter. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Back in 2000, he heard about a new TV show called MTV Cribs. He bought a TV and satellite dish specifically so he could watch it. He was massively disappointed after seeing the first episode, as it is a show about houses, and has absolutely nothing to do with corn cribs. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His semi truck has a pair of 8 inch stacks. It will sing tune that is deeper than the average Skrillex track. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His financial statements can be printed in color on a black-and-white printer. There are no negative numbers, so no need for the red ink. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

There are a few phrases you'll never hear him say. Examples include "Where did I leave my sandals" and "I'll have a Bud Light". One thing you'll definitely never hear him say is "This tractor has too much horsepower". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

DMI is known for building tillage equipment that is considered "over-built" by many. Last fall, he pulled the hitch off his DMI chisel plow. He calmly welded it back together, along with enough steel that it won't happen again. He doesn't seem to mind fixing things, but he despises fixing something more than once. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He hasn't mowed the lawn in 2 years. He has trained a pet goat, Billy, to be the resident grounds keeper. Billy eats the grass down to a consistent height, often carving out unique patterns while he is at it. Think of the checkerboard pattern that is seen on baseball fields - it's like that, but far more advanced. Golf course managers have been known to visit to get new ideas. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His barn has been autographed by numerous playboy models. If you've ever seen a set with a hay stack or a horse in the background, it was likely shot at his place. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he needs to shred old financial documents, he runs them through his New Holland grinder mixer, powered by his International 856. Sometimes he will throw in a phone book or two when he wants to see some black smoke. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Every spring, he plants an unusual shape or image into one of his fields using a combination of variable rate technology and multiple hybrids, resulting in faint color variations during certain parts of the growing cycle. Google's satellite imagery team has an internal competition to see who can locate the image first. It's kind of like the game "Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego", but with crops. Last year he planted the world's largest QR code in a Kansas wheat field. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His house, barn, and main tillage tractor all have Twitter accounts. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The seat in his planter tractor is a customized Aeron chair that has three-axis air-ride suspension. The cab has 9.1 surround sound and everything is leather wrapped, even the decelerator pedal. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

There is a Toyota Prius in his fleet of farm vehicles. People often chuckle when they see the Prius bouncing through plow furrows, but what they don't know is that it is an incredibly useful service vehicle. It has a welder in the back that is powered by the car's electrical system. He also has it wired to power his house and shop, in the event that the power goes out. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In 2008, BMW had to abandon their marketing phrase "The Ultimate Driving Machine" when one of their design engineers had the opportunity to ride in a John Deere 8530 with ILS suspension. You-know-who brought the 8530 to the Nürburgring, not to set a lap time, but to smooth out the sand traps around the corners. Being a courteous chap, he gave a BMW employee a lift back to their pit area, but that ride changed the course of automotive history. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world. Supposedly you can still see the 20.8 R 54 longbar-longbar-shortbar tread marks around the south hair-pin corner of the track. He wanted to give the BMW development group a little something to remember him by.

While some farmers have an extravagant catwalk system connecting their grain bins, he has only a single half-inch steel cable strung between bins. Usually he just walks the cable to get from one bin to the next, but occasionally he rides a unicycle. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some say that he has a sixth, or even a seventh sense. One thing is certain, fashion is not it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Over the years, he has won numerous livestock awards at the Iowa State Fair. While the ribbons are nice, it has also earned him international attention. A couple years ago, semen from one of his prize-winning bulls was used to AI approximately 100 heifers in North Dakota. Those bred heifers were then purchased by the government of Kazakhstan to build the countries' cattle herd. The cattle were shipped to Kazakhstan via UPS. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he gives his bank account number to a Nigerian scammer, they deposit money into his account. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

You've probably heard people refer to some place known as "the middle of nowhere". He owns a ranch there - says the yields are decent, but that it's a long drive delivering grain to the terminal. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz came from his farm. He also owns a couple fields along the yellow brick road, although it's really more of a tan color these days. Apparently it's quite sun faded. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In the early 2000s, he needed a combine with more capacity than anything available on the market or in development. He eventually bought a pair of 2388s and connected them together side-by-side. The left chassis had to be disassembled and rebuilt mirrored so that the clean grain elevator and all drive sprockets would remain on the outside of the machine for maintenance. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

For him, New York is a "fly over" state, on his way to farm shows in Europe. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

If you ever get invited to his place for dinner, don't be surprised if he cooks up a batch of his famous redneck lobster. Basically it is walleye fillets boiled in Mountain Dew. Most people claim it is the best lobster they've ever had, until they find out it isn't lobster at all. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His banker's name is J. P. Morgan. Yes, Seriously. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He plays his music loud, loves to feel the bass. However, he only listens to new music in the afternoon when the going is good. Once the sun starts to fade and the dew starts to set, he goes back to familiar tunes so that he can hear anomalies of his machine through the music. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn't often go golfing, but when he does, he likes to get birds. Not birdies, but literally he aims for birds flying near the ground between himself and the hole. Got two crows and a score of 3 under par on the last 18 hole course he played. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some say that the pupil of his left eye is shaped like a John Deere logo, and that the pupil of his right eye is shaped like an International Harvester logo. Few people notice because he is usually wearing sunglasses, even while indoors. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has a black denim suit that he sometimes wears when he attends a formal event. It includes a duct-tape bow-tie and he has some chromed quarter-inch bolts for cuff-links. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He likes to visit the casino any time it is Friday the 13th. Claims 13 is his lucky number. He has even rolled a 13 on the craps table once. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He sometimes carries a wallet that is attached via a chain. He uses 3/8" grade 100 alloy chain for this, mostly because anything smaller is useless in his opinion. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can determine the pH balance of soil by grabbing a hand full and running it through his fingers. It's like checking the moisture of corn with your hands - you can get pretty close once you've done it enough. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

There is a new un-opened bottle of Fast Orange in his farm shop. Dirt never seems to stick to his hands, so he hasn't needed to open it yet. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he makes ham and potato soup, there is so much ham and potato in it that you can eat it with a fork. He calls this "country style" soup. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once took over control and landed a 747 after the flight-crew became incapacitated due to food poisoning. Some credit his intuition and cool head, but he also stayed at a Holiday Inn Express the night before. He later claimed the experience was similar to operating his self-propelled sprayer. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can get a bit frustrated when farming a field he recently bought. Those fields still have rocks in them, where as the fields he has owned for several years have the rocks buried deep enough that they're no longer an issue. You see, his farming practice adds 1-2 inches of top soil every growing season, which eventually brings everything above the level where the rocks are. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is so good at operating a tractor, he once drove through a parade in reverse, pushing a float built on top of a hayrack the entire way. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One time when installing tile in one of his fields, his trencher hit a large rock. They dug it out, and loaded it onto a truck. It was over 10,000 lbs and about the size of an ATV. He drove the truck into town that night and dumped the rock at the main intersection in town, gave it a quick bath in diesel fuel, and lit it on fire. The sheriff and other locals thought it was a meteorite. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He hates operating a mold-board plow due to the speed constraint. For example, at 15 MPH, the dirt flies three furrows over and the plow shears overheat in about 10 minutes. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He's so handy, he can fix stupid. He says it does require some special tools though. An electric cattle prod, some duct tape, two 100lb suitcase-weights, and a round-nose shovel. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

So you put 22" wheels on your Escalade? That's cute. He runs 54" wheels on one of his tractors. Six of them, and that's just the rear axle. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He wears Caterpillar shoes, a John Deere hat, and a Claas jacket while driving a Case IH tractor pulling a Kinze planter. For him, this is the definition of 'multicultural'. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He may not talk much, but his actions speak louder than words. Even the President likes to fly by to see what's going on during planting and harvest. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Back when he was in grade school, he acquired a John Deere G tractor with a grenaded engine from a neighbor. He removed the engine and converted it into a pedal tractor. The rest of the tractor still functions normally, including the PTO and power steering. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he's out in the field, he wears sunglasses around the clock, mainly because they are also safety glasses. This trend has now spread to other industries, most notably musical artists. Few know where the trend started. He coined the phrase "The sun never sets on progress" but others say "The sun never sets on cool". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He owns several sections in MN that are mostly consumed by lakes. The property taxes are low because there are few tillable acres, but that's perfect because he bought the land specifically for the lakes. His fish hatchery division operates there. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

You'd never know it after the corn is up, but he doesn't have markers on his planter, nor does he have GPS on his planter tractor. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Roses are red, violets are blue, the most interesting farmer grows these too.

After watching him row through the gears on an 18 speed cab-over Mack truck, you might think shifting should be an Olympic sport. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has a herd of unicorns at his hay operation. He feeds them a special high-protein diet to build muscle. Once they're strong enough, they're an army of walking bale-spears. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His Peterbilt semi was actually hand built by a guy named Peter. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He enjoys reading a book called "50 Shades of Green". It contains pictures of John Deere tractors from antique to current production. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He always says that a breakfast steak is the most important steak of the day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His reputation precedes itself. This has been measured by scientists at the Large Hadron Collider. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When Carmen Sandiego wanted a vacation, she would visit his farm. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He keeps a yoga mat in the cab of his tillage tractor. He says it helps keep his pants clean when crawling around under the field cultivator replacing shovels. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once fixed a printed circuit board (PCB) on a neighbor's combine using a stick welder. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

You've probably heard of a whiskey chaser - where you drink a shot of whiskey and then wash it down with a pint of beer. When he starts feeling a little under the weather, he does an amoxicillin chaser. This is where he downs a shot of amoxicillin and then washes that down with a double shot of whiskey. When he gets the 24-hour flu, it only lasts 12 hours. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In the winter months, he likes to make some money on the side by pulling stuck semi trucks out of the ditches after snow storms. He uses his John Deere 6430 tractor due to the narrow profile, but has it ballasted to 68,000 lbs for the necessary traction. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn't have a resume, he has a biography. Note, not an auto-biography. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is not legally allowed to discuss what happened to the weather in the midwest in 1988. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Case IH began labeling their tractors with the engine horse power after they heard about his collection of Farmalls. His Farmall 300 has 300 horsepower. The Farmall 400 is just a bit over 400 HP on the PTO, but closer to 360 at the drawbar due to axle issues. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he is flirting with ladies, he has been known to make comments such as "Darling, you smell better than bacon in a skillet.", "Baby, you're hotter than the turbo on my combine.", or "Hey gorgeous, my eyes are drawn to you like raccoons to a sweet corn patch." He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His ATV has a cat inside it. This unique stability system ensures that any time the ATV becomes airborne, it will always land on its wheels. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once wrote an animated movie script about life on a farm. It was intended to be narrated by the likes of Kevin Bacon, Marcus Deere, Ben Diskin, Robert Plant, and Vin Diesel. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When the dog days of summer set in, he does something to remind him of cooler weather - he goes sledding. Snow isn't required if you have enough horsepower, and he has enough horsepower. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One of his favorite drinks is a Jack Daniel's and hot sauce cocktail, shaken, not stirred, the way his mother used to make it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He still uses a late-1990s Nokia cell phone and is currently on his second one. The first one was borrowed by a neighbor and accidentally left on the draper head on the neighbor's combine. The error was discovered when the phone was found in a pile of rasp bars behind the combine. The phone still worked, but had an annoying scratch on the screen, so he replaced it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He owns a convertible Corvette that he drives on long trips, usually to Omaha, NE where he picks up a new Timpte hopper trailer. The car has a fifth wheel and air bags on the rear axle to accommodate the trailer. The convertible is to allow clearance for the trailer in front of the fifth wheel, plus it makes for a nice drive to Omaha. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The first-aid kit in his tractor contains a single roll of duct tape. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has been invited to every one of the FOMC meetings in Jackson Hole, WY since 1998, but he has never attended. Why, you ask? He doesn't like meetings or suits. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Like many people, he took the ACT test in high school. He was disappointed that it didn't include a field demonstration section. Sounds like he really wanted to prove his tractor-bailer-hay rack back-around-corner skills. Still manged to score a 38, whatever that means. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some people leave cookies and milk for Santa. He puts some brisket in the smoker a day ahead of time so that its good and tender when the big guy rolls in. Santa needs a balanced diet too, and cookies and milk are not a complete meal. He also does a quick inspection and lube on the skid while it's parked. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he wakes up on Christmas morning, he unwraps and assembles a new model for his 1/64 scale farm. Apparently Santa delivers, but doesn't assemble. He takes great pride in the fact that all of his scale models are 100% functional. This year he got a New Holland small square baler. He did say the 1/64th scale knotters were somewhat challenging to assemble. After breakfast, he goes out to feed the cattle. He adds molasses to the cattle feed, as that is their Christmas present. Then he spends the rest of the day watching a rodeo and drinking milk. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He loves turkey burgers. Who wouldn't love a pound of beef between two slabs of turkey? He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He uses a specially formulated hard-surface coating on the rasp bars and concaves in this combines. He sent one rasp bar to the guys at "Will it blend". It didn't blend. That episode has not aired. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He rarely plays a round of golf, but when he does, it is on the hilly un-mowed CRP ground. Some golf course pros tried to rate the course once. They decided the first hole was a par 17, but were unable to complete the second hole. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His favorite color of finger nail polish is chrome. His second favorite color is John Deere yellow. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His favorite type of pizza is steak and potato. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

After the passing of Mark Pearson, IPTV created a list of people to consider for Mark's successor on Market to Market. Despite not responding to their initial interview requests, he still made it to the short list. They eventually removed him from the list after 11 unsuccessful attempts to get an interview with him. In hindsight, this was probably for the best. The current host, Mike Pearson, provides a natural continuity to the show that resonates well with viewers. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His office has windows on all four sides. His desk is a leather-wrapped steering wheel. His secretary is the touch-screen computer to his right. His pen is hydraulic remote #1. He is an artist, a business man, a commodities trader, and a master gardener to the Nth degree. He is ... every farmer you've ever met.

His tractor cab has a special air-ride suspension with gyroscope stabilization, which keeps the cab smooth and level. When he is doing tillage on mile-long rows, he sometimes sets dominoes on edge on the floor of the tractor cab and then knocks them over for amusement. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Salad? That's what his food eats. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

As previously mentioned, he always disappears in late December for a few days, ringing in the new year in an unknown location. Yesterday he finally turned up at an airport in Cairo, having arrived on a flight from South Sudan. Apparently he had been canoeing on the White Nile and was sporting a new pair of Alligator-skin boots. However, what really drew attention were the Alligator-skin gloves in his back pocket. US Customs was again curious how he had gotten out of the US without a trace, and someone at the FBI is undoubtedly pulling their hair out right now wondering the same. The FBI's nickname of Waldo Houdini is still listed on his records. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He used to have a pet pig in his house. Some people have Vietnamese pot-belly pigs, but this one was a Hampshire. Its name was 'Bacon' and like any good house pet it was litter-box trained, would oink on command, roll over, sit, and stay. Actually, it was exceptionally good at sitting and staying, which comes in handy now that it's in the freezer. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn't eat spinach. If he wants more iron in his diet, he eats iron. He seasons his potatoes with it, in the same way that you would use bacon bits. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he pulls in to a corn field for harvest, he can make that field disappear faster than David Copperfield on a TiVo at 16x. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Sometimes he wakes up the roosters when he is up fueling the machinery before sunrise. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One of his favorite places to vacation is a little town known as Utopia, Texas. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some say that he has acquired a substantial number of abandoned houses in Detroit. Supposedly he is planning a bit of a bonfire that will dwarf the one they had in Chicago in 1871. Once the land is cleared, it will be reverted back to crop production. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When it comes to alcohol, he starts with whiskey, but he saves the hard stuff for later in the evening. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

You may own a pair of steel-toe shoes. He has a pair of steel-finger gloves. We're really not sure why though, he rarely wears gloves when working with barbed wire. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

It's hard to quantify the meaning of life, although he claims he has. He hasn't publicly stated what the number is, but we know the units are in bushels per acre. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he was 6, he torque-snapped the rear axle on his IH pedal tractor. Ended up doing an extensive overhaul on it including new paint and decals, larger tires with deep lugs, better gear ratios, a diff-lock, and a chrome stack. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

While some engine manufacturers recommend changing the oil every 100 hours, he changes the oil in his tractors every 167 hours during the busy season. It is his Thursday night entertainment. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

They say he has a dirty mind, which is technically correct since he is almost always thinking about soil compaction, erosion, fertilizer, or water saturation. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some say he can play a pretty good tune on a 2" Banjo valve. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One time at a party he brought jello shots to share. He had used two colors of jello and formed them to look like the wheels on a John Deere tractor. People were challenging themselves to do "duals" or "triples", and pretty soon everyone was plowed. That was the last time he made jello shots. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some say that he visits rural Kansas as a birthday present to himself. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One of his irrigation pivots used to cross Interstate 80 in Nebraska. Eventually the state built a bypass around it. That is the reason for the one curve in I-80 in Nebraska. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he is in need of a laxative, he downs a bottle of olive oil. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

While in conversation at a Hooters restaurant, he once made a comment about how beautiful barley straw is. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He refuses to sing karaoke, with one exception: "I'm a Barbie Girl" by Aqua. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One thing he doesn't understand is bath salt. Why would you want to take a bath in salt water only to have to take another bath to wash the salt off. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When ladies try to attract his attention, they don't cover themselves in glitter, they cover themselves in bee's wings. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn't always listen to Metallica, but when he does, nothing else matters. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

For many years, he thought the phrase"once you go black, you never go back" was a reference to black dirt. After using this phrase in numerous speeches over the years, you should have seen his eyes when he was informed of its meaning among urban folks. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He walks with a swagger that intimidates people. This is not intentional, but is caused in part by the size of his wedding vegetables, and partially by the weight of his belt buckle. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has been adopting technology on his farm at a record pace. His new grain leg is wireless. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He briefly tried his hand at being a surgeon, but it didn't work out. His stories were so interesting that his colleagues were getting distracted. Worse yet, the patients were also mesmerized, requiring the anesthesiologists to use about 200% the usual dosage. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Forget snakes on a plane, he once brought chameleons on a plane. Nobody made a fuss though, probably because they are so hard to see. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has a couple grain sites without a ladder on any bin, which isn't much of an issue because parkour is one of his many hobbies. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

She doesn't just think his tractor is sexy, it has been certified as "sexiest tractor in the world" by the people at Guinness World Records. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He's not really a fan of green tea, unless it is Alfalfa tea. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he goes to the beach, he doesn't bring a towel or a chair, he brings a track hoe. He builds sand castles that you can live in. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he goes to a nice restaurant and orders "a glass of house white", he means milk, not wine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once did the Harlem Shake, although he didn't know it had a name at that time. A QuadTrac at 5.5 MPH on extremely hard chisel-plowed ground will do that. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He rarely talks about his dreams, but when he does, the dream he describes is usually a camp fire next to a corn field in late July, sipping a tall glass of milk, listening to Beethoven. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some years ago, he sketched out the dimensions and specifications for an airplane to use for crop dusting on his ranch. He showed the blueprints to his aviation friends and asked for feedback. Most said it couldn't be done, but a couple of the European guys said they would forward the info to some people they knew. After years of calculations and some minor dimensional changes, it finally hit the market, commonly known as the Airbus A380. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His favorite Dairy Queen Blizzard flavor is steak and potato. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Last year he bought a tractor with narrow profile tires for an experiment with 15" row corn. This year all the neighbors have similar tire setups. Turns out that skinny tires are as much of a fad as skinny jeans are. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Like many people, after a long day he likes to have a drink and relax by the fire. In his case, the fire is a massive pile of trees that he grubbed out of the fence line earlier in the day, and the drink is a Molotov cocktail. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

If you load bad software on a router, you might turn it into a brick. He once loaded software on a brick and turned it in to a router. I'm told it took quite a while to chisel the Ethernet ports into it though. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

You know that beautiful loping sound that a highly tuned engine makes at idle - his lawnmower sounds like that. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He's more connected than the power grid. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When plasma displays were first released, he put one in his combine to be used as a yield monitor. He was also one of the first people to discover the burn-in characteristic of plasma displays. After one season, the number 3 was burned in to the third digit for yield, signifying the yield was somewhere in the 300s most of the time. He has since replaced the screen with newer technology, and that old plasma display is now on exhibit at the factory where his combine was made. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he is planting at night, the headlights on his tractor shine so brightly that the field can be seen from the International Space Station. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has a special STIHL chainsaw that he uses to carve the turkey for Thanksgiving dinner. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He's quite the chef. There is one dish in particular he makes that includes bacon, ground beef, and a chicken glaze. Not only is it tasty, but it smells so good that it has been known to cure vegetarian-ism. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The best male enhancement drug he's ever found is diesel. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once tried out a pogo stick. After using it to till one field, he gave up on it. Said it had too much power hop. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some of the things that turn him on the most include dynamometer charts, watching the bid-ask spread on the CBOT, and seeing a pretty lady say "CSR rating" with a sly smile. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One of his neighbors managed to get a big tracked tractor stuck in a mud hole. With heavy rain in the forecast, they thought it best to get the tractor out before it became a lake. Other tracked vehicles couldn't get close to it, and it was too heavy to lift with a helicopter. He took out his cell phone and called Procter & Gamble to get a semi load of whatever that magical substance is that they make Maxi pads out of. 8 hours later, they were building an ultra-thin bio-degradable road out to tractor. Once the moisture was pulled into the road, the tractor drove right out. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When people say to him "You look good for your age", he thanks them for the compliment and attributes it to getting plenty of exercise, a low stress work environment, and of course drinking plenty of milk. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once bent the chassis on a forklift due to it catching air while loading pro-boxes of seed into the planter. He doesn't like down time when it comes to planting. Ended up having to move the pro-boxes by hand that day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He understands enough about marketing to know that if it has the words "heavy duty" printed on it, it probably isn't. The signature of a solid product can be seen clearly through the paint, and doesn't need a marketing department to hype it up. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

To say he doesn't like sandals is an understatement. There isn't enough bourbon in Kentucky to get him to wear sandals for a day, even if it was a day at the beach. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The local airport once received a bad batch of diesel fuel. Not to worry, this was fuel for ground vehicles, which doesn't get tested as thoroughly as the jet fuel does. Anyway, the bad fuel ended up taking all of the large airplane tugs out of commission. With no way to safely pushback from the terminal, the airport quickly stopped moving. They called you-know-who to bring in a big tractor to get things going again. He was there in a jiffy. As part of repayment, he now gets to farm the dirt between the runways and taxiways. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The fist bump that has been popularized in urban culture - that was originally known as the yield bump, and started decades ago by the farmers in his neighborhood exchanging ways to increase crop productivity. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

For many years he has owned a couch that is unbelievably comfortable, so when the original upholstery wore out, he decided to fix it. It took 4 peeled cows to get enough leather to cover everything, but it's still in his living room and people still comment about how comfortable it is. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has an air mattress that's been used too many times to count. One time he even used it to lift a tractor so he could rotate the tires. Most amazing of all, he stores it in the box it originally came in. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One of the original visions that led to the creation of Amazon EC2 was the idea of doing large scale yield analysis, processed with localized test plots, variable nitrogen experiments, and weather logs. He never bought in to the idea though, and his yield data never made it into that cloud. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He knows the difference between GMO, hybridization, selective breeding, environmental optimization, evolution, and magic. His crops grow better than people generally expect, not as a result of Monsanto scrambling a genome, but as a combination of the other items. GMO is merely one of his winter hobbies. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He's friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. He doesn't know y. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The Leatherman Multi-Tool on his belt requires a permit to carry a concealed weapon. If he goes to the post office, he has to leave the Leatherman in the pickup truck, parked off site. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He thinks jet lag is similar to turbo lag, but much much longer due to the physical size of the turbine in a jet engine. It does take a while to get a jet spooled up. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The only time he lives his life 1/4 mile at a time is when he's working in a square 40 acre field, which is a rare thing these days. It's a lot more common to see him living life one mile at a time. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

For him, rebar, concrete, and steel are the things dreams are made of. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn't like opera simply because of the sound. He says it reminds him of a John Deere round baler he once saw at an auction. It had obviously never seen grease; the shrill sound it emanated was unbearable. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn't have any dirty magazines. All of his magazines are kept clean, fully loaded, and in good operating condition. As we all know, an empty or malfunctioning mag makes a gun useless. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once used a 20.8R42 as a hula hoop. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world. It looked something like this.

He doesn't mind vegetarians. In fact, he has a whole feed lot of vegetarians, and they're all quite friendly. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once went to McDonald's and ordered a McSteak happy meal with a side of grilled shrimp. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn't play Rock-Paper-Scissors, but he does play Rock-Bulldozer-Dynamite. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The level of artificial intelligence bred into his corn is measured in MilliEinsteins. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He says that most problems can be solved by using more horsepower. He even has a theory on how to solve the national debt with more horsepower. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One of the field trials he is doing this season is adding Sildenafil citrate to his pre-plant fertilizer prescription for corn. Sildenafil citrate is more commonly sold as Viagra. He's testing its impact on stalk strength in season and shank integrity at harvest. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once taught acting lessons to a opossum. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he goes to town for supplies, he takes his bucket list. Things on the list might include white barn paint, grease, tar, hydraulic oil, and bolts. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he checks in at a hotel, he specifically requests a room on the 13th floor. He's not afraid of numbers, and it's usually a quiet floor because other people are. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His sprayer doesn't have a product pump. Instead, it has a unique twin-turbo setup. One turbo feeds the engine intake like normal, the other turbo pushes liquid product on the compressor side. He likes this setup because the output pressure is directly related to engine load, so it pushes more product at higher speeds. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When an over-width semi is parked by his house, the locals get to talking. Some think it is going to transport his chrome belt buckle to some big rodeo. Others think it's to transport the smaller excavator he uses for maintenance around the house. A few think it is for the 18 bottom horse-drawn plow he takes to plowing competitions. There are even rumors that it might be for a big screen TV to watch the markets on. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His emergency preparedness plan includes provisions for excessive heat, frost, swarms of bugs, hippies, and presidential elections. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He calls them semi trucks because they are half the size of what they should be. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He made up his own lyrics to Snoop Dogg's song 'Drop It Like It's Hot', with an educational tale about drying corn. If you drop hot out of the dryer, you need to dump into a bin with aeration to cool it. Dropping hot into a crib will probably result in spoilage. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His crop insurance is handled by Lloyd's of London. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Swinging gates bother his OCD. The OCD part of his brain wants the gates to be perfectly level so they can be moved with one finger, but the farmer part of his brain wants them hung slightly off level so they naturally stay swung open. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He lives in a gated community, but so do his cattle. He has also been known to do his own security patrols. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

It's no secret that his fields always look a little different, but few people have been able to figure out what exactly is different. Truth is, he's been adding glitter to his custom seed coating as a form of theft prevention. Several years in, the dirt is starting to sparkle. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he's in town, he will sometimes back his truck into tight parking spots. He does this so swiftly and with such ease that it has been known to leave the urban spectators speechless. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He thinks the phrase "pickup lines" means the black marks that you can leave on pavement when spinning the tires of a pickup truck. Coincidentally, the ladies seem to really like his pickup lines. However, it is more impressive to see a set of his semi lines. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some people say that revenge is a dish best served cold. His preferred form of revenge is success. His delicious sweet corn is the result of an insult several years ago, and is a dish best served hot. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He thinks it's cute that grocery stores sell ground beef in 1 lb packages. However, he finds it odd that they aren't in the meals-for-one aisle. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Putting a square peg in a round hole isn't that big of a deal, he just uses a bigger hammer. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has a grain leg with a 100' tall spiral staircase made from walnut. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He writes a syndicated column in the Farmer's almanac. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has used a bull whip as a fly swatter. He like the extra reach it provides. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His idol is Dr. Norman Borlaug, a man credited with saving a billion lives worldwide. In that context, the people who sing or play games aren't even in the same league. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Traveling lawn gnomes frequently end up being photographed on his land. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In the summer months, he's been known to make beautiful wedding bokays primarily using velvet leaf, nuts edge, and morning glory. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The only sauna he visits is the top side of a drying bin to pull a sample of corn. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He uses a Zamboni sweeper to clean the floor in his shop. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he first heard people talking about a smartphone app called Grinder, he thought it might be the new way for livestock producers to connect with feed mills. However, upon going to the Apple store and requesting a demo, he quickly learned that it wasn't intended for livestock production at all. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His primary retirement plan is to marry wisely. His backup retirement plan is everything with wheels and a diesel engine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He built a shed to cover the dump pit at his grain site. The dimensions of the shed are 40' x 80'. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He likes to think that The Chicago Bulls were named after a regional bull rental company with good genetics even though he prefers the genetics generally found in breeding stock from Montana. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The rasp bars in his combine break the sound barrier. The sonic boom does an incredible job of threshing. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has several machines that have been operating unmanned for years. It's really easy if you hire ladies to run them, and they treat the machinery very well. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once drove through town just before the St. Patrick's day parade was to begin, people started following him thinking that he was the Grand Marshal. He ended up winning a prize for the best float. He was driving a loaded grain semi. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The throttle levers in his tractors - instead of a turtle and rabbit picture, it has a weed whacker and freight train picture. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Mr. T once said "I pity the fuel that gets burned in his combine, because the fuel in his combine gets burned hard." He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The first time he saw a gay pride parade, he thought it was a Duramax owner's club meetup. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he wants to hire someone to run a grain cart, he specifically recruits people that work at Jimmy John's. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn't do tillage when it is raining, not because the soil is wet, but because the tractor hydroplanes and won't pull smoothly. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn't own a dream catcher. He has no reason to; he's already living it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn't lose sleep wondering how he's going to get everything done. Things always get done. He loses sleep wondering how to do things perfect. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His entire operation is 100% no-till for about 330 days of the year. However, those other days do involve a significant amount of tillage. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He only dates women that can back a loaded hayrack into a barn. That's one of the reasons why he loves county fairs so much. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has a smirk that can make a mob boss nervous, and a smile that his dentist is envious of. When it comes to business, he's tougher than a two dollar steak. He seems to have a PHD in blunt honesty, which has earned him a lot of respect. He has the confidence of a freight train, and his charisma shines like an arc welder. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The only gang violence he's ever experienced was a bearing failure while disking at 14 MPH. That disk gang was all over the place. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once plowed in 55,000 feet of 4" tile in a single run. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He's been known to pull a 15' grain drill with a 275 HP tractor. What it lacks in seed spacing it makes up for in acres per hour. The trick is to have the mud fly off the tractor tires and go completely over the top of the drill. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He went Black Friday shopping this year. The local farm store had a crazy deal on bailing twine, so he bought four pallets. He also bought stocking-stuffers for all the neighbors - left-handed metric crescent wrenches. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Rocket Science. Brain Surgery. Rocket Surgery. He's only ever done the last one. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he goes to an Ag conference, you'll often see him eating meals with a table of Colombian ladies with PHDs. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has underglow lighting on most of his implements. He says it really helps when replacing sweeps on the field cultivator or when greasing the planter before sunrise. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He proudly stands behind every piece of machinery that he has designed and sold, except for the manure spreader. That one he stands in front of. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once put round-bar concaves in a round baler, and if that wasn't crazy enough, the whole machine was made out of food-grade stainless steel. The project is still top secret, but the neighbors suspect it's for harvesting edamame. All we know is .. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some people claim that while in high school, he wrote a college thesis paper on reducing piglet mortality rates in hog farrowing operations. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once heard someone say they played baccarat at a casino. Thinking they were talking about back-a-rack, he went to casino, only to be disappointed by his misunderstanding. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he was little, he went through a lot of green and yellow crayons. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He's never made a gingerbread house, but he has made a gingerbread barn and silo. There were even gingerbread stanchions for the gingerbread cows. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The ladies all be like "Dayum yo corn rows look good." He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

You may have seen or even used an automatic bale thrower on a small square baler. They're popular because you can load a wagon without someone manually stacking bales. He borrowed the idea and scaled it up for use with large round bales. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When someone mentions a crazy cat lady, he assumes it's a woman that owns several Cat tractors or combines. The the crazy part merely implies much enthusiasm about Caterpillar. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once went to a restaurant and the waitress asked what he wanted to drink. His reply: "New York Strip". She giggled and again asked what he wanted to drink. He looked her in the eye and replied: "New York Strip, Rare". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has at least one of every DeWalt power tool that has ever been made, including the rare 18 volt DeWalt cordless hammer. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Decaffeinated coffee around his place starts with roasted soybeans. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The grill guard on the front of his semi doubles as a forklift for moving smaller vehicles out of the way. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He's not superstitious. He once carried a black cat under a ladder in a mirror factory while not wearing a hard hat. However, he is pretty good at water witching. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His home security system is made up of a dozen Big Mouth Billy Basses, those motorized mounted fish things. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once played one of those claw crane game machines. His prize was the claw. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The only time he cuts corners is when he is cutting the dryland crop around a circle pivot. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

On the dash of his semi is a switch to apply tension the piano wire between the exhaust stacks. He calls it "the loud switch". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Ever seen an ATV ballasted out to 32,000 lbs? If you hang around his farm long enough, you will. In case you're curious, it doesn't have power steering. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The night-light in his bathroom blinks like the road flashers on a tractor. He loves that in his peripheral vision. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once planted a corn field at 32K population and ended up with a final stand of 35K. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some of you are still working on #Plant14. He started on #Plant15 two weeks ago. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once tried online dating, but the search function wasn't specific enough for him. He was trying to search for single women, farm raised, no siblings, from Grundy county Iowa. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Many people do variable rate nitrogen and variable rate seed population. He once tested variable rate row spacing. The south side of the hills had narrower rows than the north side of the hills. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His dentist once told him he needs a crown. He declined, still prefers the seed corn hats. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He's been known to run arbitrage on grain futures in late December to help his home state even up their trade deficit. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In his world, "too big to fail" merely describes the proper size of hitch pin. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has no idea what a downward dog is, but he can spot a down cow from several hundred yards away. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he changes oil on his tractors, the oil he puts in is 15W30. The oil that comes out is 16W31. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His BTO dome is actually a dome. It's simply the easiest way to build a structure with a 250' clear span. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The dump pit on his grain site is modeled after Niagara Falls. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he was little, he had a little red wagon. He put duals on it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has fields so far out that even OnStar can't provide directions back to civilization. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The number of pods his soybean plants put on is almost always related to Fibonacci numbers. This has been confirmed by mathematicians, but as of yet, nobody has been able to explain why. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His doctor told him to eat more greens. He responded by asking what kind of meat is green? Alligator? He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His account number at the bank is 2. Just 2. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He likes going to the steam engine shows. Some of those Amish girls are smoking hot, just like the engines. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In his world, the phrase "Filthy Rich" means that somebody had a really really good year in the hog or cattle business. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

After being interviewed for a magazine article, he ended up dating the editor of the magazine. Eventually he broke it off, she had too many issues. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He's pretty good at talking trash. He's even given classes on his residue management practices. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

For him, the term "essential oils" includes hy-tran and engine oil. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His sleep number is 2388. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He religiously follows the policy of 100 lbs per hp, even on his lawn mower. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn't understand the concept of hipsters. In his words, they are "more eccentric than a worn-out wobble box." He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

TMIFITW Rule # 445: If it doesn't have meat, it's a snack. The exception to this rule is beef jerky, which is still a snack. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he was 6 he was playing with the wood Brio train in the waiting room at the doctor's office. He built a layout that was exceptionally brilliant for car storage and switching. By coincidence, someone on ADM's board of directors was in the waiting room too. They asked to take pictures of the layout. Years later, that same core rail design can be seen at ADM facilities around the globe. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He generally likes big fields, the bigger the better. The one exception to that is rice. He once had a rice field so large that the tide would change the water depth by two inches. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He's been known to drive a tractor into the heart of big towns because it simplifies parking. The visibility is great, there is no license plate to issue a ticket to, and it's too heavy to tow away. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His home security system is a herd of Charolais cows. They will surround strangers near the house, detaining them until the feed wagon comes around. Last week they trapped a Mormon who left with a farm-fresh cologne, if you know what I mean. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has a little red wagon, but instead of saying "Radio Flyer" on the side, it says "Brent 544". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He thinks a fitbit is some kind of tool used to properly size the bit for a horse. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He disagrees with the statistically correct answer to the Monty Hall problem. He would stay with his original choice because he would rather win a goat than a car. However, if the prize were a truck instead of a car, then he would do what the statisticians do and change doors. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He too has a selfie stick. It's about 20 feet long and attaches to the left side of a combine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

You've heard of heirloom tomatoes. He has has heirloom cattle. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He often dreams of combining. Sometimes he falls out of bed. That's what happens when dreaming of cutting in the Palouse. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once tried Tinder. The next day he discovered there were many singles less than 1 mile away. This was odd because his nearest neighbor is 4 miles away. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he's loading shipping containers with hay destined for Saudi Arabia, he includes a 1 pound bag of assorted Hershey's chocolates in the center of the hay pile. Its primary function is to prove that the hay is dry enough that it didn't get hot during shipment. It also serves to make the guys unloading it happy, which means more repeat business. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he finished school, his plan was to be a farmer. If that didn't work out, his backup plan was to be an astronaut. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One of his favorite vacation destinations is a city called Grainfield, KS. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He never asked his parents for a puppy for Christmas. He did ask for a bred heifer though. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Many people have traveled on JetBlue, the airline. He prefers to travel with a Blu-Jet, the anhydrous bar manufacturer. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His tractor doesn't have a particulate filter because he tuned the engine to get a full burn in the cylinders as it should be? He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His tractor doesn't have a particulate filter because the only thing that comes out the exhaust is whiskey and kittens? He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His tractor doesn't have a particulate filter because because he ordered it without one. Not many people are allowed to do that. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The only bird watching he does is when he's in a field near an airport. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once called the FBI to leave tips about 3 people on their 10 most wanted list. He really just wanted to buy some land, which he used the tip money for. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he was 6 he tried to pattern tile the carpet in the living room. His 1/64 scale tile plow actually worked and his mom was not happy. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In his world, a man's briefcase has the words DeWALT, Makita, or Milwaukee written on it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

If you stroll through the convenience store in his town and look in the candy aisle, you won't find gummy bears. You'll find gummy cows. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He's reportedly been writing a book on the topic of how to scout a field for crop stress. Rumor is that the title is going to be "50 Shades of Grain". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He applied for a new top level domain name, dot CORN, but the people that run the internet denied the application because .corn and .com look too much alike. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he hosts the whole family for Christmas, he has enough parking for everyone ... under roof ... attached to the house. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He uses the draft control on the 3 point hitch when mowing waterways. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some dogs like to chew on old shoes. He once had a dog that chewed up a 20.8 R42. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

On the rare occasion of visiting a local drinking establishment, he prefers to go to one he's been to before. Mainly because it takes so long to teach a new bartender how to make his favorite drink: a Syn-gin-ta. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he orders concrete, he doesn't specify how many cubic yards. He just tells the ready-mix plant to send a truck every 15 minutes until he says stop. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His BTO dome has electricity connections from two different power companies, plus a backup generator. FEMA has it on a list of possible relief locations if the need arises. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His name seems to pop up on various government lists. Recently it was on the short list of options for the next US Secretary of Ag. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The lights from his harvest operation have been mistaken for being the northern lights. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once bought an anvil from Harbor Freight just to prove that you actually can destroy anything from that store if you try hard enough. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His "safe space" is in the cab of a Cat 349 excavator. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He rarely gets photographed while working, but Google street view caught him once. He was on a horse leading a herd of cattle down main street in Dodge City, KS. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once owned a pontoon boat. He put a 3pt hitch on it in order to do hydro-seeding one wet spring. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Hand tools like a hack saw or screw driver, are classified as power tools by OSHA when they're in his possession. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In the corner of his farm shop you'll find an 8 person hot tub. That's his parts washer. It can de-grease a complete engine block in 10 minutes. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His house has a walk-out basement with a door big enough to drive the skid loader in. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The chandelier in his living room is made from 3 old Stir-Ators. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

There is a jib crane in his kitchen. We're not exactly sure what it's used for. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some say that he started a new job this week doing night security at the Kentucky Exposition Center. Translation: He gets unrestricted access to all the equipment at the National Farm Machinery Show without those pesky salesmen in the way. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Seed corn companies are notorious for sending out branded swag. Usually hats or coats, but he has a collection of rare seed corn swag. He has a Garst yoga mat, a Pioneer pretzel maker, a Stine beer stein, a Dyna-Gro hula hoop, and a Northrup-King chess set. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He makes his own toothpaste. The primary ingredient is bacon. Home grown bacon, obviously. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His hands are so tough, he wears holes in his gloves from the inside out. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He got really excited when he heard that some of the city kids were putting hydraulics on their cars. He was pretty disappointed when he found out that it's nothing more than a dysfunctional version of Deere's ILS system that actually makes the vehicle bounce more than normal. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He's not a business man. He is a business, man. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

- Lance Lefebure



He proudly displays American flags on every single piece of equipment he owns; they can be seen waving even on the calmest days with no wind. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Tougher than Chuck Norris. Smarter than Steven Hawking. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is so knowledgeable when it comes to plant breeding that Monsanto lets him save his seed for next year. They've even been known to borrow a few ideas from him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has the world's first and only nuclear-powered grain dryer. Some say he built it with the knowledge he gained while working on the Manhattan Project. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He finally retired his second planter after many years of service. It was an 2 row John Deere equipped with row clutches, hydraulic drive, and an Insight monitor. It was pulled by his team of Clydesdales; that is, when they weren't busy delivering beer. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can find the calibration number for any radar gun by just picking it up and holding it in his hands. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He never bought into the planter monitor fad, he plants with a specially ordered open station 8360R and has gotten used to the sound his meters make when they are working properly. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

- Dave Delhotal



He has texts full of questions with Deere, CNH, and Lexion. However, none of the questions were from him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

- David Ebert



He once plowed an 86 acre field with a 2 bottom plow and two mules and still milked 24 cows by hand, all in one day. Not to mention he was home for a nooner. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Rumor has it that it's not the fact that he is heavily armed and has expert marksmanship but he has personally trained Texas Longhorn cattle to sniff out narcotics and take down anybody with them. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once took his 535 horsepower tractor equipped with 800/70x38 -R1 Radial tires and a full set of front and rear weights to a burn out contest at a muscle car show and won the trophy! He is ... the most interesting farmer in the World.

As a kid he bought all of his school clothes from the local Farm & Fleet store. By special request and just for him they even fixed him up with his Prom Tux. To this day this is the only Tuxedo ever made by Carhartt! He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He produced the Roundup Ready Gene used in most of today's corn and soybean hybrid's as his 6th grade science project even though his science teacher told him it was stupid and He would never amount to much. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Other Farmers go to Farm Show's just to follow him around to see what he is looking at cause they know if it interest's him it will be the next breakthrough in Agriculture! He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His chicken feed ration that he mixes up on his farm for his 100 million flock of chickens is the real secret ingredient in KFC's recipe. Colonel Sanders' only secret is the farm he buys his chickens from. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he purchases a new piece of farm equipment it is not uncommon for him to pull it in his shop and completely dissasemble it and make several modifications of his own before taking it to the field. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He was combining one of his smaller wheat fields (1800 acres) on a hot July day in Eastern Colorado. His 11 year old nephew Duke was running the tractor and grain cart for him. Duke accidently dropped his Cuban cigar and the field caught on fire. The nearest fire department was 70 miles away. Having no more then a couple of water jugs full of drinking water he had no choice but to FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE. He always knew it could be done and proved it that day. By the time the fire department arrived the fire was out and he had combined several more truck loads of wheat. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefer's Grain Belt! He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When Nashville Country music song writers are looking for a new song. They call him and he will look at his surrounding's from the tractor seat and make up a country song in seconds. He has also done some rap songs for Snoop Dog & Dr. Dre but the lines were too risky for even them. However every Fall Snoop Dog comes to his farm to run a combine and they have been known to kick some free style in the barn in the evening's while kicking back a few Grain Belt beers. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In 2009 Ford Motor Company specially built him his new F-350 pickup truck. It was built on a H1 Hummer frame and had a Cummins Engine and and Allison Transmission. He bought it at the local GMC dealer. It sounds confusing but you just got to know him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Despite his super busy farming lifestyle he has been known to plant several of his neighboring farmers corn fields for them in the spring. They think he is doing this simply because he is a nice guy. Truth is he is doing it so he doesn't have to look at the crooked rows of corn they usually plant all summer as he drives down the country roads. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Looking for a faster way to speed up corn silage harvest on his 620,000 head cattle feedlot in Western Nebraska. He bought a fleet of large Cargo jets. He installed higher speed blowers on his Class forage harvesters and blew the silage up into the specially made silage bed's on the aircraft. When full the jet would fly back to the silage pile and dump the load at about 15,000 feet. Dumping this high also packs the silage pile very tight eliminating the need for packer/blade tractors. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once entered an ATV Freestyle Jump competition with a small Kubota tractor! The crowd was amazed as he aced such tricks as the Superman, Cliffhanger, and an Indian Air. However he came up a little short on the Double Back Flip mixed with a Saran Wrap and had to settle for Third Place that day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is worth tens of millions of dollars. Most would never think that if they seen him walking into his smalltown bank in his wranglers, ripped up flannel shirt and scuffed up shit kicking work boots not to mention his really simple way of life. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Every fall he puposely does not harvest one field of corn within a 5 mile radius of his farm. This gets all the neighboring farmers talking that he is farming way too many acres and cant keep track of all his acres. He just laughs and will come back and combine the field the following March. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He built and perfected an on board grain dryer system on his combines where he pipes heat from the exhaust manifold to the clean grain elevator of the combine. It is capable of drying corn down 6 points from the bottom of the clean grain elevator to the top. He is also working on an additional dryer in the unloading auger. Combine manufacture's fear him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

At 16 he took his drivers license test in his grandpas Kenworth quad axle truck with a 30' Meyer Big Boss silage bed. At 21 he took his CDL test with a Mack Semi truck hooked to a combine trailer loaded down with a Gleaner R-72 combine with dual wheels. He then hooked up the header trailer behind that with a 45' MacDon draper head and since he was also going for his Haz-Mat he hooked the fuel trailer behind all this. The liscense examiner was impressed when he backed this all through the cone course then parallel parked it in the down town region of Dodge City Kansas. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once hosted the Wisconsin State Farm Show on his farm in Crosby North Dakota and had record attendance from the Badger State that year. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he was 17 he completely rebuilt the engine in his Grandpa's Gleaner N7 combine in the field using nothing more then a 12'' crescent wrench (aka Kentucky Metric wrench), a Swiss Army knife and a tube of JB weld to repair the hole in the engine block. The machine now runs like a raped ape. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He wear's spurs on the back of his shit kicker cowboy boots even though he very seldom will ride a horse. He has them on all his foot wear even right down to his Nike tennis shoes and his slippers that he wears around the house on winter evenings. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

On Friday he attended a Versatile Tractor meeting in Des Moines Iowa. He was chosen out of the crowd and given the key to start up the new tractor. The crowd was in awe as he throttled up the new Tier 4 QSX15 Cummins turbo charged engine with air to air aftercooling. Women in the crowd were cheering his name. He just gave the crowd a head nod, He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He gets all his mens health tips from Farm Journal Magazine. Its a special edition printed just for him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is so full of farm DNA that the beard he grows on his face every winter is Roundup Ready. If you were to drive a tractor on his face the tires would have stubble damage. He is... the most intertesting farmer in the world.

Although he really has a thing for dark haired/dark eyed girls. He has dated many celebrity women such as Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. However several of his X ladies have often turned to alcohol and drug abuse after they figure out his love for the land and tractor horsepower is many times greater then it could ever be for them. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can drive one of his many tractors to the local Asian Buffet and is served his Favorite Mexican Entree by the Norwegian owners all with valet parking. He has been served Chicago Style pizza in Italy. Served a New York strip steak in restaraunts that serve a Kansas City strip. He once even celebrated Christmas on Easter Island. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He drove one of his Gleaner Super 7 combines with a 12 row Gerringhoff corn head From his Illinois Farm all the way to New York City to drive it in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade as a tribute to the American Farmer. He took Interstate 80 the whole way. He is one of few farmers that authorities can not touch for driving farm machinery down an Interstate. He will change into a Pilgrim outfit shortly before the parade starts. He is not expected much TV time though due to the fact that he has a Ron Paul 2012 bumper sticker on the back of his combine. On a good note though Guinness Book of World Records will be on hand to acknowlege him as the only farmer with an EZ Pass mounted to the windshield of his combine for the Toll Roads .Katie Couric has invited him over for Thanksgiving Dinner afterwards but he is going to Cracker Barrel instead. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His Varmint Weapon of choice to carry in the tractor with him is an 1862 Gatling Gun. He has much better control of the Coyote and Groundhog problem he used to have on his farms since switching to this over the Kentucky long rifle. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has a pair of signature chrome cowboy boots that he will only wear on the most special of occassions. His high school graduation, his Ag Tech school graduation, his wedding and the occasional Arbor Day party. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One day while chisel plowing a field near the small town of Geneva Indiana with his Versatile 575 and Krause Dominator he noticed the shanks pulled up a large steel box from the ground to the earths surface. After stopping the tractor he discovered it was an old safe. He took his Garber pocket knife and some WD-40 and was able to unlock it. Inside he found what was believed to be the first rough draft copy of the Geneva Convention. Other misc. items included a document in Swahila language (Kenya) that appears to be Barack Hussein Obama's original birth certificate (I knew It), An autographed copy of Babe Ruth's rookie card and proof that spider eggs were not used in Bubble Yum chewing gum to give it that real soft texture. He also discovered an 8 track tape of a duet song with George Strait and the Notorious BIG. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he goes deer hunting in Ohio he attaches a bayonet to the end of his Remington 12 gauge shotgun just in case he would have a rare but not so uncommon encounter with a mountain lion, wolverine, or even possibly a bengal tiger. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The dual wheels on his dually pickup truck are set to run 30 inch rows. He has an auto steer and yield monitor mounted in his pickup truck also and with a few modifications it comes in handy when he enters a truck pull. Only he can understand how that works. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

It's a known fact his lasso and calf-roping skills can win him about any woman in the world. However, he is a member of such popular dating websites as Match.com and Eharmony but it's not to meet new girlfriends. He has successfully found much available farmland via those websites. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has never set an alarm clock his entire life. Yet he is awake early enough every morning to go out and wake the rooster up for it to do his goodmorning crow to the world. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One day while checking fields on his Arizona farm he spotted 4 muslim extremists trying to declare Jihad on a large dam used to supply irrigation water to much of that area. He approached them and cursed them out in arabic. He gave them two choices. First he would hog tie them up and call the authorities or hard labor on the farm, They chose the farm work. He loaded them on a cattle trailer and sent them to his brothers farm in Iowa where they were soon put to work pitchforking cow shit from the heifer and steer pens. After 2 weeks the 4 men were eating sausage and bacon for breakfast,pork chops for lunch and bacon wrapped pork medallions for dinner. They were also soon wearing Wranglers,going out to honky tonks and digging country girls. They are also now convinced Farm Journal Magazine is the new Quran. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He grinds his own coffee beans. 135 bushel's at a time that is using his Gehl Grinder Mixer and Case IH 7220 tractor. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He not only climbed Mount Everest! He grew a field of corn on a flat area near the top that still made 156 BPA. Al Gore changed the word Global Warming to Climate Change after he learned about this. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has been to the Big Texan Steakhouse in Amarillo Texas many times and ordered the 72oz Porterhouse Steak Dinner Challenge just for an appetizer followed by the petite Filet Mignon for his main course. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His Christmas light display burns more electricity then his 3.4 million bushel grain storage and dryer set up uses during peak harvest time, and 80% of his display is the new energy saving LED lights. Al Gore is okay with this because he is using the so called GREEN TECHNOLOGY! During the month of December airline pilots often mistake his Illinois farm for the city of Las Vegas. He has a No Fly zone over his farm. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He did a little bit of test work for Boeing on the 747-8 when it first come out some years ago. Although it was not as manueverable as his line up of crop duster planes he still rigged up a spray boom for it and took it to a field with a few power lines going through it. Something didn't feel quite right so he landed the large aircraft and gave it a quick coat of turtle wax. This made it just glide through the air and he was able to crop dust any field with it and make the tight turns required. He has since bought one and built a cattle rack for the inside. This allows him to quickly haul cattle back and forth from his Montana Ranch to his Wildarado Texas feed yard. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he was in 3rd grade he was checking out his Grandpa's new combine. He took and read the entire operators manual several times. The section on grain loss and setting the combine really got his attention. Even though nobody new he was doing this he went out to the field and walked several fields and was checking for grain loss and realized they were losing 0.85 BPA in corn and 0.89 BPA in soybeans. In the morning before school he would tell his parents he was going jogging and sneak over to the combine and make minor adjustments for the better. After school he would check the field again. After a few days he had the grain loss down to 0.00000001 BPA. Only a few of his close friends and the local priest were told about this and the priest knowing his grandpa told him to leave it a secret. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once put all new disc blades and bearings on his 46 foot Krause disc and never set his coffee cup down with his other hand. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In the winter season when he is not so busy he likes to go to the local tavern on karaoke night. His good friends Toby Keith, Alan Jackson and Jason Aldean often go with him and do back up vocals for him. Even his X girlfriend Katy Perry shows up at times and plays the tambourine while he is singing. Often times Katy leaves the bar with him and they drive the back country roads and talk about things like soil compaction, tillage practices and the farm markets. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has been asked multible times to host presidential debates on his farm. He always kindly says NO and that he has better things to do in his spare time such as play Chinese Checkers with his daughter. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Folks say He is pretty good at drinking beer. Truth is He's pretty good at everything he does. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once went to court in a custody battle over 82 Angus Cattle. When he walked in the court room the judge stood up in his honor. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

After losing a bet to Donald Trump and Hugh Hefner at a Christmas party at the playboy mansion a few years ago he either had to be a Wal-Mart greeter for a week or pose in Playgirl magazine. Since he didn't have a week to spare being a greeter he chose the magazine pose instead. He did not have to use his real name and went by the alias Shetland Pony. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Not only does he harvest the crops that he grows. He also harvests his own fossil fuels on his ground down below the earths surface. He built his own drilling unit out of a Danuser post hole auger and some wooden poles used on the Mayflower. He then took things a step further and built his own oil refinery out of several old galvanized hog feeder's combined with some old wooden bunghole barrels then hooked up a De Laval milking pump and pipeline system and topped it off with a bunsen burner, an exhaust system of a wrecked Toyota Prius and a Where's Waldo book. He is still not considered Green by Al Gore standards because he did not use any John Deere parts to make this work. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once attended a Jason Aldean concert and was doing a little line dancing mixed with some break dancing moves during the song "My Kinda Party" This caught the attention of several females in the crowd. Shortly after fights started breaking out between the ladies when a rumor got started he was giving out backstage passes to his farm and 10 lucky girls were going to get his signature cattle brand on their butts. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

While getting his horse and sleigh ready to take in town to give rides for the local Christmas social gathering he got to thinking about an auto guidance system to steer the horses. Before you knew it he pulled an Ag Leader auto steer system out of one of his tractors, mounted the GPS receiver to the top of the horses head. made a few driving maps of the route in town and it worked perfect after some slight calibration work. This allowed his hands to be free while giving the sleigh rides to do other things like juggle oranges and serve coffee to the riders. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

It's been said on here before that his corn maze is almost impossible to solve even from the air. Well the other day when he went to harvest it lets just say even he had great difficulty and he planted it and had the field mapped. After quite a battle he fried the micro processer in his guidance system on the combine, his tractor/grain cart operator got lost 3 times in the field while chasing down the combine and he found a family of 5 in the middle that had been missing since October 30th and had been living off corn and rain water seeking shelter in tents made of corn stalks. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is one of few that actually knows what Victoria's secret is. Since he is not the gossip type he will not share that secret either and just for that Victoria made an exclusive Victoria Secret FFA jacket for his girlfriend back when they were in High School. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Every Christmas Eve when he is done feeding all his cattle he will mix up a special batch of feed for Santa's Reindeer. It includes corn silage, baled alfalfa hay, grain, mollasses, and is topped of with some carrots and candy corns. While the reindeer are eating this late night snack Santa will come in and wake him up. They have milk and cookies together and talk about things like grain futures and good looking women that made Santa's naughty list. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

PETA members often show up at his annual Christmas Party. Not to protest but rather to enjoy the fine Hors D'oeuvres that are served. They especially enjoy the Beef Wellington,Pork Medallions and the Rocky Mountain Oysters. Two years ago several PETA members showed up early to help butcher the beef cattle and hogs. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

It is not uncommon when he wakes up Christmas morning to find 6 pallets full of Dekalb seed corn bags around his Christmas tree. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Lots of folks think because he is a farmer he is not up with the times or modern technology. Funny cause back in 1995 he used to talk about his Motorola 4G bag phone and nobody knew what in the hell he meant. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The only thing the FBI knows for sure is when he does drop off the grid at the end of December, he is leaving the farm with his 2002 Chevy truck and snowmobile trailer loaded down with his Mountain sleds. They also know this 2002 Chevy trucks meets tier 4 emmissions and does not have urea injection or a DPF with EGR. They also know he has once rang in the new year in every time zone around the world all on the same day. They later learned he was even traveling on the same plane as the FBI agents that were investigating his travels from zone to zone. Other's claim to have seen him snowmobiling in the mountains of Idaho and Tug Hill New York on the same day. Or in a karaoke bar in Tokyo Japan using his stage name Myron or El Conquistador, Or in Los Angelos acting as Vince Neil and Fergie's designated driver. Or at Chuck Norris's New Years Eve party. Others swear they seen him in a bar in South Dakota partying with Brock Lesnar and playing the puching bag game often scoring a higher punch then Brock. Some also believe he is just hiding out in his own living room Rocking around the Christmas Tree and watching re-runs of Walker Texas Ranger. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

All of the livestock on his farm have their own facebook. They update their statuses regularly. Because of this he has the best livestock health records in the world. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In the winter months he can often be found out in the woods cutting firewood with a chainsaw in each hand while listening to that famous Jackal song "Lumberjack" on his Ipod. He has been known to cut, split, and stack up to 117 cords of firewood in one day, plus get all his farm chores done, and still enjoy some snowmobiling in the evening. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has a snowmobile with a 3 point hitch and PTO. On winter weekends he hooks up to his post hole auger and can ride out on the lake and drill holes in the ice for some ice fishing. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has fulfilled his 2012 New Years resolution back in 1997. On January 4th of this year he has already completed his 2024 resolution. This is further proof that world is not really going to end later this year. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is one of few guys that can go into an establishment (gentlemens club) and leave the place with a lot more money in his wallet then he walked in with. Strippers often pay him to have the opportunity to grind on him. When he goes to the Bada Bing Club in NYC to have his annual meeting with Tony Soprano he walks out with a suit case full of $100 bills. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has been known to tame the meanest of full grown Holstien Bulls with nothing more then a 6 pack of spotted cow beer, a pack of Red Man chewing tobacco and a picture of Lady Gaga. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He eats breakfast at McDonalds twice a year just to be certain that the so called cage free eggs they serve taste exactly like the eggs from caged chickens. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has a 4 wheel drive two wheeled motorcycle.(Yea that's right) He is the only guy that has rode with the Hell's Angel's in cowboy boots,wranglers,a western shirt topped off with his dinner plate rodeo belt buckle and suspenders and lived to tell about it. When he is dressed like this women are often singing that ZZ Top song "Sharp Dressed Man". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

If he wanted to, he could tell a line of bull shit that Barry Obama, Joe Biden, John Kerry, and Al Gore would be very jealous of. He could even do it without a tele-prompter. The only difference is he expects people not to take his BS serious and that he is kidding even though he can be rather convincing. (Like the Dos Equis guy, his words carry weight that would break a lesser mans jaw). He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

If you seen all his picture perfect farming practices and record breaking yields no matter what mother nature throughs his way you would then understand why all his neighboring farmers are convinced he is the man responsible for hanging the moon in the sky. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Hollywood wanted to make a movie about his life as the most interesting farmer in the world. He no way had time to play the part. Several actors such as Nick Nolte, Duane Chapman, Eric Cartman and Pee Wee Herman wanted to play the part. WikiLeaks even said Barrack Obama wanted to step down a President if he could play the part. This would be great for the country but no way was this farmer going to destroy his reputation like that. He finally blew his cool when he heard Chaz Bono wanted to play the part as people would then take her (it) serious about becoming a real man. He said the only actors even close to being wothy enough to play his part would be Stone Cold Steve Austin or Tommy Lee Jones. He later said in the small town coffee shop his part could best be played by his good friends Mike Less, Lance Lefebure or Ole Karstad but they would not have the time to to this either. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can update his Facebook status using a CB Radio that he has mounted in all his trucks and tractors. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

After hearing all this talk about this show called Jersey Shore he decided to watch it one evening. He was rather dissapointed as with a name like Jersey Shore he was certain it had to be a show about a dairy farm that raised Jersey cattle in the small town of Jersey Shore Pennsylvania. They kept talking about these girls that were DTF well they did not look like they were DOWN TO FARMING to him. The only thing he even seen that was close to farming was a Jersey heifer named Snookie. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

At 14 years old he punched out a 1950 lb Charlois Bull cold that was pawing and snorting at a crowd of people at the county fair. Even Chuck Norris was impressed. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He was banned from Twitter 37 minutes after he created an account. There system did not have a chance keeping up with his every move. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

During a severe drought on his Western Oklahoma farm and after several failed attempts of a Native American doing rain dances. He noticed a Hurricane that was in the Gulf of Mexico and heading for Alabama. He successfully called the hurricane off its course using a coyote mating call. After dumping 16'' of much needed rain he sent the storm back on its way to Alabama. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His organ donor card list the Cummins QSX 15 Liter engine out of his Versatile 575 tractor. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His Farm Dog (Clyde) doesnt bark, he speaks plain English, has a degree in Agronomy, is on the farm payroll, is a registered Republican and pays property tax on his dog house. If you would happen to catch Clyde chasing tires he would have a tire gauge or torque wrench in his mouth checking air pressure or wheel bolt torque. He is ... the worlds most interesting farmer.

He is the only person in the world that has clear, high resolution pictures and video of Bigfoot. He has seen Bigfoot walk across his farm several times. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

After leaving an antique tractor parade on his prize Minneapolis Moline G1000 Vista he did a burn out for the crowd. This got the local yocal policeman fired up and a high speed chase began. He eluded authorites on his G1000 as speed's reached upward of 18mph. Where he lost them was when he turned into one of his farms. The air chase had to end as he has a no fly zone over his farm. Authorities went to the county judge for a warrant and the judge said No Way! He said he is not going to bother the #1 property tax payer in the county over a burn out on an antique tractor. Beside the judge was there cheering him on at the end of the parade. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once had a hydraulic pump go bad on one of his older tractors. He removed the pump and took it to the local Emergency Room. One of the top surgeons rebuilt the pump. They turned the bill into his Health Insurance provider and they paid it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can bale up perfect 4'x4'x8' square bales of hay with his 5'x6' round baler. He is ... the most intersting farmer in the world.

As many of us already know he is constantly looking for new ways to improve his farming operations. He has never been satisfied with the quality of steel and the premature wear on tillage parts. He did a little lab work and found an amazing way to add life to high wear parts like disc blades, chisel plow, and field cultivator shovels. Having read that watermelon has many of the same ingredients of viagra he made up a mixture of the two and heated it. He then dips the parts in the solution and had made chisel plow shovels so hard even Chuck Norris can not break them with 3 roundhouse kicks. He has field cultivator shovels that were dipped in the solution with over 150,000 acres on them that show NO signs of wear. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is the only farmer in the world that raises several thousand head of cattle yet has no fences on any of his farms. His cows just know his grass is greener and would not dare leave the property. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Farming big acres requires many hours sitting in the seat of a tractor and combine which means his Wranglers probably have more seat time then most. He also understands the importance of stretching out and keeping the blood flow going. For this he will stop what he is doing and crank up that LMFAO song "Party Rock Anthem" every couple of hours and do the "Shuffle" right in the field. Neighboring farmers report seeing him doing the Shuffle on the cab roof of the tractor or combine, the feed bunk in the cattle yard and even on top of his 160 foot tall grain leg. Others report he has re-programmed the TCM (Transmission Control Module) and his Raven Guidance System in his Versatile 575 to go through a series of turns and forward and backwards movement to the song "Sexy and I Know It". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is so good a ballasting a tractor that he can keep his wheel slip under a 1/4% even while pulling his Nuhn Quad Train tankers full of cow or hog manure in a foot of snow in the rolling fields of southern Columbiana County Ohio or the extremely terraced terrain near Lawton Iowa. He also has to be extremely careful while doing deep tillage work in the fall as with his tractors getting such good traction and his chisel plow shanks not tripping he could easily pull the earth off its Axis. He is not only the worlds most interesting farmer, He is ... the worlds most amazing farmer.

Fast Food Restaraunts near his hometown have re-worked there drive thru's wide enough for his big tractors and combines to fit through in hopes that he will visit them for a meal. Although he does enjoy Fast Cars and Fast Women the same does not hold true for Fast Food. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Sometimes when he attends Farm Shows he just wants to look around and not be bothered by pushy salesman or any other folks for that matter. For that reason he will go to the show wearing his classy sleeveless Makin Bacon T-shirt along with some bib overalls and velcro tennis shoes. Top that off with a straw hat have a piece of fescue hanging from his mouth. This usually does the trick as nobody gets withing 30 feet of him. Others report seed and chemical companies hand him envelopes of cash when he is walking through the show to get him to use their products. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has never played Farmville on Facebook. He has no reason to as he lives and breaths the awesome, never-will-be-published version everyday of his life. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he wants to speak his mind to top Whitehouse officials he has walked right in all the way to the Presidents desk past Secret Service Agents showing nothing more then his Pit Pass from the Fort Recovery Ohio Tractor Pull. He later told friends this is a waste of time as he usually finds Obama and Biden playing Candyland and wont listen to him anyway. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In the winter months he is asked to go around the plains states and speak to groups of other farmers on various agricultural topics. While attending one of his daughters cheerleading competitions he was asked to speak during the awards ceremony when the key speaker did not show up. He got a little side tracked when he got on stage and looked to the crowd and seen someone with a John Deere hat on. He started speaking about tillage methods and pesticide use in third world countries and oddly enough the cheerleading crowd became very interested. Next thing you know they were doing cheers for him and cheerleading moms were throwing themselves at him. It was a little bit of an awkward moment for his family that day but they now understand what makes him so intersting. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His 5000 cow dairy barn and milking parlor has been featured on MTV Cribs. The pen area where the Holstien bull's are kept is believed to be a cattle version of the so called Jersey Shore Smush Room. Rumor has it another episode is coming featuring his swine farrowing barn. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is so good at driving a combine he can maneuver it through a 30 foot wide barn door with the 45 foot wide header still attached to the machine, "blindfolded". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Occasionally in the Winter he may go to Perkins for breakfast to shoot the breeze with other farmers. However to ensure he is getting the best nutrition for his body he brings his own farm fresh eggs and pork sausage for them to cook for him. He demands the best nutrients for his livestock and crops and cant take chances on his own body. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Shortly before Valentines day back in 2007 DEA raided his farm after detecting growing lamps coming from a 100x250 machine shed. Agents where somewhat ashamed after finding the shed full of roses under those growing lamps that he was growing to make a flower boquet for his lovely wife for valentines day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although he has a newer Chevy truck parked in his garage with hardly any miles on it, His Farm Vehicle of choice is an older White Ford Windstar Mini Van or his Kubota RTV. In the summer he is sometimes even spotted scouting crops on his Polaris Victory Motorcycle. He is ... the worlds most interesting farmer.

He once contracted ringworm after handing a load of cattle he bought out of lower Alabama. He rid his body of the ringworm by going to Quaker Steak and Lube in Council Bluffs Iowa and eating a Full Bucket of triple atomic wings with a peck basket of freshly picked habanero peppers on the side. He washed all this down with two large bottles of tobasco sauce and a bottle of George Dickel bourbon. It just so happened Adam Richman was in the restaraunt filming an episode of Man vs Food but the episode did not air as all the attention turned away from him and to the farmer instead. When folks see the "Atomic Wings Survivor" bumper sticker on the back of his farm truck they know he truly earned it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Like most farmers he owns a sprayer for control of weeds and insects. As a matter of fact this guy owns several sprayers. Pull types, Self propelled and a few crop dusters. Being a steward of the land and a true enviormentalist he tries to limit the amount of pesticides on his crops. With the help of the United States Immigration Service he successfully deported millions of European Corn Borer and Japanese Beetles back to their native land. For this reason alone now Canadian Geese fly out of their way to avoid his farms for fear of being deported themselves. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He knows 1000 ways to love a woman. 999 of them involve his Signature Cowboy Hat. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Shortly before Valentines day back in 2007 DEA raided his farm after detecting growing lamps coming from a 100x250 machine shed. Agents where somewhat ashamed after finding the shed full of roses under those growing lamps that he was growing to make a flower bouquet for his lovely lady for valentines day. After finding only roses and no marijuana plants he recieved an apology letter from the DEA and local law enforcement. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

As he awakes at his Ranch in Valentine Nebraska. Valentine's Day is just another day. See he doesn't buy into all the hype and nonsense of this made up holiday that attempts to guilt men into spending money on flowers that were imported from another country and will be dead the next day or a card that says a bunch of BS that no one will remember, and was printed in a third world country with lead in the ink. He just does what he does every other day. Works hard and provides his special lady with a very good life as a result of all his hard work. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The day before the National Farm Machinery Show kicks off in Louisville Kentucky the tires on his Chevy Duramax Diesel can be heard rolling Southbound out of Indy on I-65. He is pulling a 48 foot Tri-Axle BBQ grill that he built in his shop years ago. Behind him is two of his Farmhands with a truckload of hickory firewood and a refrigerated trailer full of rib-eye steaks and Grain Belt Beer. When he arrives at the show he sets up in the back parking lot and serves up food and beer for all his tractor pulling and farmer friends. The show staff does not like him doing this as he takes away from there concession business but cant really do anything about it as he does it all for free. And they know if he didnt come to the show it would have a large impact on the crowd. The tractor pullers like to question him on what tire pressures they should run based on the soil density on the track. Farmers like to ask him his thoughts on the new machinery on display at the show. They know his two cents worth is really worth Millions. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is the chosen one to cut the ribbon at the opening of the National Farm Machinery Show in Louisville Kentucky. What? Didnt know they had a ribbon cutting at the start? Very few do. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Pizza Hut will always guarantee him a 20 minute delivery time on pizza. Even when he is working in fields 60 plus miles out of town. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Back in 1979 while in middle school he was eating a box of cracker jacks. When he went to pull out the prize it was just a bit heavy. To everyones suprise he pulled out a John Deere 4440 tractor. He almost got suspeneded from school as the principal thought he drove one of his fathers tractors into the school . He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He installed duals on his Case IH Quad Trac Tractor. He renamed it the Octo Trac. He ended up in court over this as the Octo Mom tried to sue him cause his tractor was getting more attention then her. She even took it a step farther and tried to sue his tractor for child support. After hiring a good attorney she lost the case to him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Once a year he will stage a fake breakdown with his Chevy truck just to make his friends who drive Ford's and Dodge's feel good since they are often broke down and hooked to the tow truck several times a year. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

A few times in his life while traveling the country his truck has broke down in a rural part of the country. While waiting on a tow truck he has been known to pull out his binoculars to look for wildlife such as coyotes, mountain lions, and bigfoot. Everytime he ends up seeing a "for sale" sign in front of a nice piece of farmland. After being towed to the Chevy dealer and waiting on his truck to be fixed he can be found with the realtor purchasing the prime farmland. The odd thing is within seconds of paying and signing the contract his phone rings and its the Chevy dealer telling him his truck is ready to go. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

This time of year he is extremely popular at the County Courthouse. Its that time of year to pay property taxes and with all the land he owns that is lots of money for the county. He once hauled a semi trailer full of One Dollar bills to the courthouse to pay his property taxes and paid it one bill at a time to the "Hot Looking Receptionist" in the County Treasurers office as she danced on a brass pole. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once attended a Farm Equipment meeting in San Antonio Texas when he was introduced to a Rural Saskactewan girl who was a Friend of a Friend of a Friend who we will call "Jenn" It wasn't her very blue eyes or long blond hair that caught his attention when they started talking about farming but "Jenn" mentioned something about a couple of thousand acres of prime farmland for sale near her hometown. Now she had his full attention. Later in the evening at a Karaoke bar he spotted this girl in the crowd when he just so happened to be singing that Restless Heart song "The Bluest Eyes in Texas". Shortly after this one thing lead to another and lets just say a land contract was written up in the bar that night and he will be farming a few more acres in Western Canada. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Rumor has it he leaves his farm in the upper midwest every year towards the end of February and drives to Texas just to purchase 3 new pairs of shitkicking cowboy boots. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has forgot more about farming then most farmer's will ever know. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although he is not a fan of operating farm equipment under the influence of alcohol. He has been know to drink one Grain Belt beer from the seat of the combine during harvest as the sun is setting across the prairie all while listening the that Jason Aldean song "Fly Over States". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Things dont always go his way and occasionally he may have a bad day. However he doe's not blame George W Bush but rather just deals with it and moves on. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can improve an air conditioning system in a tractor, combine, semi, or pickup truck so good and so cold that if you opened the windows when it was raining out, it would turn the rain to snow. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he is driving a semi around the farm he usually wears one of those chain drive wallets. However he dont have one with a short little chain on it, His has a 35 foot log chain. This way if the semi gets stuck he always has a chain on him to get pulled out of the mud. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Restaurants that display old western wear and antiques around their place like to buy his old cowboy boots for these displays. They say his old boots show wear patterns and scuff marks on them like no other. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

You always hear all kinds of rumors and theories as to how he continues to grow perfect crops with record breaking yields year after year. One such theory is when he leaves his Texas Farms to head back to the Midwest his pickup truck is covered with Texas soil and he washes it in a field when he gets home. Mixing this Texas dirt in with the Midwest soil improves the Gene Pool of the soil to a point that scientists cant even explain. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

On his Farm he has a 2200 lb. Holstien Bull that drinks beer, smokes cigars and like to play poker. It goes by the name "Big Shooter". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Rumor has it that every year on his birthday he dyes a few more of his beard whisker gray so he looks more his age. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His iPhone has an app that can change the engine oil in his fleet of trucks and tractors. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has such a Positive attitude about everything in life that when he buys new batteries for his trucks and tractors the battery manufacturer removes the word Negative from the battery. These batteries seldom ever go bad. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One summer day while he was out spraying soybeans in his Air Tractor AT-602 yellow cropduster airplane he was hungry for some Sizzling Chicken and Shrimp from TGI Fridays. He flew and landed this plane at the C Councourse at the Minneapolis St. Paul International Airport and went inside to have his favorite dish. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has one of those GPS devices in his truck. However his device doesn't speak, it listens, He tells it how to get somewhere. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

This time of year he is busy tuning up his equipment for the planting season ahead. He will often go into town to get parts and stop for lunch at the local cafe. Women often walk by him while he is eating and tell him he smells good and ask what kind of cologne he his wearing. He kindly answers hydraulic oil or diesel fuel. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he was a baby his first word was "Agriculture" He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once punctured a tractor tire when he ran over a rusty old steel fence post that was buried in the field. He fixed this tire on the spot by removing the steel post from the tire, plugging the hole with a mixture of bubble gum and sunflower seeds. He then blew the tire back up from some hot air coming from an Obama speech that was being played on the tractor radio. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although it is too early to be planting corn in the Midwest, on a warm sunny March day like today he will get his tractor and corn planter out of the barn and park it in a field near a busy intersection, just to get all the other farmers talking. He is ... the most intertesting farmer in the world.

Some clothing company named Abercrombie & Fitch sends him a new pair of jeans to wear on the farm everyday. After he wears them for a day he sends them back and they sell them for Big Money. They say he can put rips, holes, and dirt marks on a pair of jeans like no other. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

They say in the spring of the year when he gets rid of his winter beard that a large horsepower tractor and a heavy duty brush hog mower are involved and pushed to their absolute limit. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has been involved in the breeding of Jersey cows though artificial insemination or lining up a good bull. However, he is NOT the father of Snooki's baby from Jersey Shore. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One winter day while he was a little bit bored he brought some scrap steel into his shop and started welding up a platform using some old grain bin sheets and a cat walk that was destroyed in a tornado. He topped it off with an old combine ladder and added an upright pole in the middle of it using an old stainless steel milker pipe. He put it on Ebay and sold and delivered it to some establishment in the Midwest where girls dance on the stage for dollar bills. He later started getting threatening phone calls from the girls that dance on this stage as they claim the clubs patrons seem more interested in the fine welds and craftsmanship of the stage then the dancers. To make matters worse a picture was taken of his truck and trailer in the parking lot of this establishment the day he delivered the stage which could now prevent him from ever running for a political position. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Athough he is not an Irishman and does not own much for Green Equipment he is asked to pull a float in the local St. Pattys Day Parade with his 1977 John Deere 6030 tractor. Grain Belt also sends him a 12 pack of a rare green beer they brew to drink at home after the parade. He has even been known to date an Irish woman for a short time this time of year. He is ... the most intersting farmer in the world.

Some folks have called him a racist because he does not Like Barrack Obama, Truth is their is several white politicians he does not like either. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He rarely watches college basketball. March Madness to him is getting all his tractors, planters, tillage, and spraying equipment tuned up. Making sure all his seed, fertilizer, and spray chemicals have all been delivered to him and that everything is 100% ready to go for the upcoming crop planting season. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is not much of a biker but he has a rare collection of Harley Davidson T-shirts. His Harley shirts list towns that you would probably not see on anybody else such a Johnson Kansas, Crosby North Dakota, Cheyenne Wells Colorado and Beltrami Minnesota just to name a few. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His favorite music is Country and Rock-n-Roll but after long days on the tractor he has been known to mix it up a little bit with stuff like Will Smith "Gettin' Jiggy Wit It" , Men Without Hats "The Safety Dance" and Maestro "Table Dance", Also they say on the 25th of every month he may listen to a Christmas Song as he counts down how many months it is until his favroite holiday. His Ipod is thought to have the biggest variety of types of music in the Midwest. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

You know that sound Cowboy Boots make when walking on a wood or concrete floor? His boots have a very unique sound of there own. Something like the beat of that George Strait Song "Cowboys Like Us". His boots even make that sound when walking in the dirt. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

We all know he has a thing for those good looking country girls. He has a few other turn-ons as well such as dual tires on the front of MFWD tractors, combines with duals and Maurer bin extensions, triples on articulated 4wd tractors, heavy duty grill guards on the front of 4wd trucks, and large displacement diesel engines. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although he is not the fighting or violent type. He once went 8 rounds in the octagon with Chuck Norris and had one hand tied behind his back. After the match they shook hands and Chuck went home to rest and he went home and unloaded 21 loads of baled alfalfa hay, shoveled 5300 bushels of corn, and then dug a 1/4 mile long drainage ditch 6 foot deep with a hand shovel as a cool down. After this he enjoyed two grain belt beers and called it a day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has been banned from Southern California after he had a mix up on some paperwork for a load of bulls for a rodeo and ended up on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills. They say things have never been the same in Beverly Hills that afternoon he rolled into town driving his chromed out black Peterbilt pulling a large shiney aluminum cattle trailer. The sound of that Cummins ISX15 liter turbocharged motor caught the attention of such movie stars as Angelina Jolie and Jordana Brewster. Both ladies even asked him for a ride when he stepped out of that "Big Rig" in his Ariat Boots, Wrangler jeans, and cowboy hat. They say since that semi ride things have been kind of rocky between Anglelina and Brad Pitt and she is now wearing lady Wranglers and voting Republican. As for Jordana, lets just say she is no longer into the "Tuner Cars" she drove in the Fast and the Furious and has a thing for large displacement diesel engines. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In the spring of the year when the birds migrate back to his farm from the south they must pass through Nashville Tennesee as when they arrive they are chirping his favorite country music songs. This year the flock of birds must of spent some time in Mexico as they were chirping away what sounded like a Mariachi Band. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He usually buys a few new tractors every year but seldom trades in any old ones. He firmly believes their is no such thing as having "too many" tractors. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although he has a smile on his face 99.9% of the time they say that smile gets a whole lot bigger this time of the year when he gets in the field with his high horsepower tractors. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In his service truck he carries a big long handle Snap-On 1'' drive breaker bar for keeping the lug bolts and nuts tight on his tractor and combine wheels and disc gang axles. Some claim it is so long and shiny that girls have actually danced on it for dollar bills. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once took a roll of rusty old barbed wire and made a soft "Goose Down" pillow out of it with his bare hands. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

As a kid when he would get his 4H hogs for the upcoming county fair he would fill in the starting weight of the animal. After about a week and months before the fair weigh in they say he would fill in the final weight based on the feed analysis and the hogs genetics. He was never off by more then a 1/3 of a lb. He was not quite as good at this with his 4H steers as he was off by 2 lbs one time. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

It may not always be easy being the worlds most interesting farmer even though he makes it look that way. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

As a boy he always had a fascination with cutting down trees and chopping wood. He used an axe and by age 4 he would sneak his dad's chainsaw out to cut down some trees. By age 8 he was just not happy with the horsepower of chainsaws and custom built a saw with a 6 cylinder Waukesha diesel motor and a 48' bar. Kids in school started calling him Paul Bunyan and would always ask where his Blue Ox was. He quickly shut them up when he drove his blue Ford Versatile 1156 tractor to school. The 1156 was the ox of tractors in its day but he named the tractor "Brutus" as he already had a smaller blue ford TW35 tractor named "Babe". He is... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His Farm Fresh Eggs are in high demand this time of year. People at the grocery store claim they are "hard to find". His chickens lay colored eggs. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Every year around Easter he runs an ad in the local city paper for an Easter Egg Hunt in his fields - will pay $10.00 hour where he tricks city folk into picking up rocks thinking they are Easter Eggs. Some of them folks get all excited cause they think they are "Cage Free" & "Organic" eggs. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

We all know he has been growing carrots for the Easter Bunny for many years. To show his appreciation the Easter Bunny always delivers a different chocolate replica in his basket. He has made such things as a chocolate barn, pitchfork, and cowboy boots. Last year he made him a chocolate replica of his Versatile 575 Tractor and this year it was a chocolate Agco 36 row corn planter with tracks. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The secret service has visited his farm on numerous occassions all because he will not accept Barry Obama's friend request on Facebook. Often times they ask him for a job on the farm so they do not have to return to Washington D.C. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The term "Man Cave" just pisses him off. But... If he has a supposed man cave it would have to be the cab of one of his tractors or combine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once bought a 160 acre field that had a heavily wooded 1/2 mile long fence row. He was feeling a little creative one day and took his Stihl chainsaw and cut every tree off at a 42" height. He then came back and carved out a perfect picket fence out of the 42" high stumps for the entire 1/2 mile. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he hauls a load of grain to the local grain elevator all the other farmers pull out of his way and let him to the front of the line, just so they can say they breathed the dust left by his semi and grain trailer. They also like to see what a quality grain sample looks like as he dumps. Some claim the test weight of his corn is so good he has bent the grates on the dump pit. He is ... the most interersting farmer in the world.

He once irrigated a field of corn using Fiji Water just to see if it really was better than well water. The field actually yielded 24 bushels per acre less. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He had Kinze Vision long before Kinze had Vision. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He always likes a good laugh and that is why he is often listening to some of his favorite comedians like Andrew Dice Clay, Dave Chappelle, and The Jerky Boys. When he is looking for something a little more unique to make him laugh he just goes to the Wal-Mart in Richmond Indiana on a Friday night. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Things other farmers do that just piss him off. Overfill the grain bin on the combine and spill corn all over the cab roof and leave it there the rest of harvest, Guys that go out and buy a 3/4 or 1-ton 4-wheel-drive diesel pickup and never haul a load with it or even take it off the blacktop, Farmers that do not plant straight rows of corn or plant around big rocks in a field rather then pick them up,guys that do not remove the weights of there 4wd tractors for spring tillage then complain about soil compaction. Or listening to the guy that says "The farmer is always getting screwed", just to name a few. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

A couple times a year when he is really pressed for time he flys out West to get some farming done out there. When he goes to Dollar Rent a Car at the Denver airport he always gets upgraded from a compact SUV to a 4x4 truck complete with a long bed, tool box, CB radio, and a heavy duty grill guard. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Jesse James rebuilt one of this choppers (Claas Forage Harvester that is) dressing it out with many billet aluminum accessories just to have his name mentioned on one of these quotes. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Occasionly when going on a trip he may fly instead of drive.When flying over the central USA he is often invited up to sit with the pilots. As they fly over the fields they talk about farming and watch tractor videos on Youtube. Some times they even let him take control and fly the plane just to show some of his moves like he is in one of his crop dusters. He is so smooth most passengers dont even notice. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He grew up on a farm in Western Nebraska. After high school he left for college and years later went on to become a surgeon. He worked in a hospital in a large city in Texas fixing up gunshot and stab wounds on victims. Several of these a day. He did many heart surgeries as well. After 20+ years of this he made his money and was tired of all the regulations. He moved back to that small western Nebraska farm that borders Colorado where he can walk out in his yard and look in all directions and see nothing but fields and no other houses. He is 15 miles from the closest town. He prefers to just stay under the radar. He and his family are living "The Good Life" now or some may say "The Odd Life". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some say he is the only farmer in the world that has "Moves Like Jagger". He was told this after a group of ladies from the city seen him operating his Claas Jaguar 960 forage harvester while wearing a pair of cowboy boots with spurs,wrangler jeans,a cowboy hat and sleeveless t-shirt that said "precious" across the front. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

A group of Hippies stopped by his farm in a old Volkswagon van and was wearing Tie Dye Bob Marley Shirts. The called him dude and asked if he could grow some crops for them cause they heard he was a good farmer. He kicked them off the farm for several reasons but they kept saying Happy 420. He thought they were talking about his restored 1957 John Deere 420 tractor. He later googled 420 and found out different. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he is going through security at the airport, things happen a little different when walks up to the checkpoint. First off, TSA hears him coming because his cowboy boots have a sound of their own and they open up a new line for him. He is not required to remove his cowboy hat when he walks through the scanner, but he often does because the brim of his hat rubs the sides of the scanner. He has also been seen walking through security with a 3 day old hereford calf in one hand and a case of Grain Belt beer in the other. The steel of his rodeo belt buckle and spurs would destroy the metal detector so they just turn it off for him. They know he means no harm and it is an honor for him to be at the airport as he often prefers to drive. The female TSA agents dream of him walking through security naked and would love to have a reason to pat him down. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has a very unique group of followers on Twitter. It includes people such as Lil Wayne, Captain Crunch, Dennis Rodman, Jennifer Aniston, Cher, Sponge Bob, Johnny Knoxville, Dee Snider, and Smokey the Bear. Not to mention several other farmers and thousands of beautiful country girls and cowgirls from all over the USA, Canada, and Australia. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although he is pretty open minded he refuses to let his kids watch Barney "THE" Dinosaur! He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Being a great Steward of the land he is always looking for ways to improve soil health. Even when it comes to his pasture land. For this reason he bought one of those Tye drill's called the "Pasture Pleaser". He also bought a large soil aerator which is a drum with finger welded on it to poke holes in the land. He did not like the layout of the fingers and torched them all off and welded them back on in a series of two fingers close together followed by a smaller/single finger. He called this great invention "The Shocker". Years later a rock band named Steel Panther wrote a song called "The Shocker" that had absolutely nothing to do with a soil aerator. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once built a grain storage bin capable of holding 66,000 bushel out of Lego's. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Not using his Harvestore Silo's anymore he converted one of the 80' tall one's into a rain gauge. This way he is ready for any storm Mother Nature thow's his way. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he is out traveling he dont always stay at a Holiday Inn Express, Wait a minute yes he does! And its not for the so called "Free Hot Breakfast" He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he is busy in the fields planting he has no time for downtime. In fact he wont hardly stop the tractor to take a leak (AKA urinate) Now to speed things up he has converted over a Boeing 747 with diesel fuel tanks,fertilizer and seed tenders. He then added some highly precise GPS equipment he bought from a farmer near Fairfax Iowa and can now keep his tractor's and planter's filled from the air so they don't have to stop to fill. Some also claim he is working with a retired Nascar pit crew that can actually wait at the end of the field and grease the tractors and equipment as it is making turns on the end rows. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One day a business traveler in a suit pulled out of the Cedar Rapids Iowa airport after he missed his flight to Minot North Dakota. He was frustrated over this and made a wrong turn out and ended up on a gravel road west of the airport that started with an "L". (cant remember the rest but it was 8 letters long) Anyhow he seen a farmer with a John Deere hat on working ground in a Case IH STX385 Quad Trac. The frustrated business traveler stopped and asked this farmer for directions. Cant remember the farmers name but I think it also started with an "L". Anyhow again the farmer gave him such good directions that he drove to Minot and beat his flight by twenty minutes. Not only that he also told the man his rear passenger tire was 3 PSI low on air and one of his cylinders had a slight miss in it. He aired up his tire and dumped 8 ounces of Lucas fuel conditioner in the mans vehicle and sent him on his way. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has no tattoo's. He is plenty cool without them. However when he is going for a motorcycle ride and needs to put on a "Bad Boy Image" he wears a sleeveless Wrangler denim shirt and just wraps a rusty old piece of barbed wire fence around both biceps. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he heads to the field they say he packs quite the lunch in his plus size Igloo cooler. He likes to be prepared for about anything. Just to name a few one may find several roast beef sandwiches, 6 apples, 4 pickled eggs, a 12 pack of Pepsi throwbacks, a Bear Grylls survival knife, a colt 45 revolver with several hundred rounds of ammo, a five gallon bucket of hydraulic oil, an extra wireless router, several USB thumb drives, and a Karaoke machine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is known for doing the work of 3 men. Some wonder how much more he could get done if he did not carry a camera. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His grease gun does "NOT" run out of grease while laying stretched out under a farm implement reaching for that hard to get grease fitting. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He took his own profile picture! This is not really a big deal but what confuses people as he posed for that picture at 36*27'16.50N 100*48'15.89W is that both his hands are in the picture and neither shit hook had a camera in it. He did not have a tri-pod on him. A motorist that was traveling on that highway just north of Perryton Texas that hot July day claims he looked out in the field and seen an incredible looking man in a cowboy hat leaning on a front dual wheel of a Versatile 280 tractor and throwing a camera up in the air and posing. Others claim he found an Angus bull to take the picture. There was another rumor going around that a girl from Canada took it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Moving large farm machinery down the road can be hectic at times. It can be even worse when on a state highway when motorists are trying to get to work or Yoga class. when he has a chance he pulls over to let these motorists by which often results in having them all show you the "Middle Finger" as they go by. He doesn't get upset about this he just has a strange way of getting even. When his work is all caught up he will put on his striped bib overalls and get in his 1977 3/4 ton Dodge Power Wagon pick up and go drive these roads during the busy hours with speed topping out at 32 MPH all while chewing on a toothpick. However unlike in the tractor he does not pull over and let them pass. He can cause quite the traffic backup all the way to the city limits. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Several years ago he won the Kentucky Derby with his prize Belgian draft horse "Big Jim" Although "Big Jim" is not your typical race horse he has been known to piss like one. This race was also won with Big Jim pulling a 4 bottom moldboard plow. Big Jim is known for working hard all day as long as he is fed a bucket of oats in the morning. After this race Big Jim was seen hanging out in the Winners Circle enjoying some Makers Mark bourbon on the rocks. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Cetain times of the year he has been known to shed several pounds of bodyweight because the manual labor load increases around the farm. However the special brand of work clothing he wears with the help of a new APP on his phone lets his clothing adjust with his ever changing physique. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The people on Jersey Shore are jealous of his farmer's tan and his lifestyle. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When buying new farm machinery he always said it can never have too many grease fittings. He has always been a fan of properly maintaining his farm equipment. However he is NOT a fan of high maintenance women. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

After long dirty days on the farm he has been known to recycle his shower and laundry water. He feels it would be a crying shame to wash that precious soil down the drain. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

They say his Illinois brush fires send smoke signals that get the attention of many top officials in Washington DC. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is so strict about crop rotation that he even plows up his yard every year and seeds it down with a different type of grass. The type of grass he picks is usually one that matches up to the growing season weather predicted in the farmers almanac. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He don't really give a damn what his Canadian friends have to say about the rock band "Nickleback". He still listens to them simply because they play good rock & roll music. Hell he even named his high capacity grain vac he custom built the "Nickleback". No nobody knows for sure why he named it that but we all figure it is because it just flat out kicks ass like the rock band. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He takes several things into consideration when buying new farm machinery, vehicles and other items such as price, product reliability and fit & finish but most importantly the item cannot be camera shy. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

They say he realy has a thing for those brown hair, brown-eyed girls. Others say he only like blondes. Some say it's the farm girls that really drive him nuts. Who the hell am I trying to bull shit, all good looking women get his attention but extra points for the ones that can operate large farm machinery. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once traveled to Tunisia in the Sahara Desert and planted and grew a perfect field of corn just to prove it could be done. After the corn was tassled out and had big ears on it some movie called X-Files filmed a scene by that field. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He was once standing in line at the bank when a girl turned around and said yuck, you smell like cow shit. He seen an Asian letter tattoo on the side of her neck and said yes and I see you like to be used by low life men that have no job, smoke menthol cigarettes, live in a trailer with a pitbull dog, drive an old beat up Camaro and have a pencil beard. She asked how he knew all this, When he got up to the counter the bank teller said I didn’t know you could read Asian. He said I can’t and I just took a lucky guess. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His Facebook page actually lists Yoda as one of his uncles. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He bought one of the new John Deere DB120 (Deere/Bauer) Corn Planters. Just for him they even made an Eddie Bauer Limited Edition model. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he rolls through small towns in his Peterbilt Semi the sign at the edge of town that says "Do Not Use Engine Brake" actually changes to "Engine Brake use encouraged". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In the fall of the year when he is harvesting corn it is not so uncommon for women to stop by the fields and ask to ride in the combine with him. When these women leave they often refer to him as "The Cornfield Casanova". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can actually grow synthetic Astroturf and artificial plants. That’s right, I said "Grow". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

During wheat harvest he has been known to grill some very good ribeye steaks for the farmhands using the exhaust manifold of the combine motor. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has been nominated for entertainer of the year several times just for his homemade farming videos he posts on YouTube. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He actually knows the secret to making a woman happy. He also knows how to piss them off and often says that is much easier. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once gave an angry 555lb Duroc Boar Hog a Stone Cold Stunner while drinking several cans of Keystone Light all because Stone Cold Steve Austin said so. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Years ago he actually took time away from his busy schedule to work with some lady named Rosetta Stone to make an instructional video on how to speak "Trucker Talk", "Farmer Talk" and how to properly speak to Mexican Farm Hands. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Like many folks he too did not believe in evolution. That is until Kinze Manufacturing came out with the new evolution series corn planters. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once carried over $10,000 in cash in his wallet while going on a trip to Canada just so he could check “YES” on his declaration form. He just wanted to see what would actually happen. When asked about this while going through customs he told the officer he heard they had good strip clubs up here eh. The customs officer then stamped his passport and said have a great time. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He got to where he is in life because of his strong work ethic and will to never give up even when the whole world seems to be taking a giant shit on him. His good looks had very little to do with it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can understand every word Ozzy Osbourne says. He can even understand and speak Ebonics. However one evening while watching the news he was listening to Barrack Obama give a speech and he said he couldn’t understand a word the guy was saying as nothing made any sense. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

After an incident with a neighbors bull getting through a fence and breeding a bunch of his Black Angus Heifers he loaded up the entire herd of cattle and hauled them to the Maury Povich show for an episode that that will appear this August called "Who's your Daddy". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once slapped an Earnhardt #3 bumper sticker on the back of his truck. Cut the sleeves off a T-Shirt that says Jeff Gordon is gay. Went to the local Wal-Mart and filled a shopping cart full of dog food and Budweiser beer. Then acted unruly trying to get thrown out of an Applebee’s in Indiana all just to see what all the hype was about being a crazed Nascar Fan. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

During an extremely wet summer he contained trillions of gallons of excess rain water. He then converted it to a PDF file and emailed it to other farmers in drought stricken areas that summer. They were able to open the attachment and irrigate their crops with this water. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One day when he was not real busy his wife asked him if he wanted to go shopping and he said sure I will drive. The day of shopping started out checking out all the local Farm Equipment Dealers followed by a few of the Farm & Fleet Stores then to Lowes, Menards and ended at the mall but only to the Tool section at Sears. They then had dinner at Bob Evans Restaurant. After they arrived home his wife said she had no idea shopping could be so much fun. This all happened many years ago and she has never asked him to go again. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When Physiatrists need professional help they have been known to pay him a visit. A Tractor ride around the field with him while listening to some country music usually does the trick. In some extreme cases he had to hand them a leaf blower and tell them to blow off the Combine. They always leave the farm with a smile. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Occasionally you may see him out in public wearing one a white Fruit of the Loom “Wife Beater Tank Top”. No… He was not going to a Kid Rock concert. He simply did it just to show off his Farmers Tan. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once had an International 1466 Tractor parked in the Shed hooked to a 6 bottom moldboard plow. They say every night at 12:36 AM the tractor would start itself up and go out and plow 40 acres while playing “George Thorogood –Bad to the Bone” then back itself back in the shed. The plow bottoms would also paint themselves black when parked. Some years later some movie producer heard about this and made a horror movie about a killer car named Christine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

While in college he did not have to buy any books. He wrote his own. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some people claim he wears John Deere underwear which is kind of strange as he does not own much John Deere equipment. Although it is true he does wear green underwear on Mondays and Thursdays a closer look would reveal it is not John Deere green at all but is an exact match to Dekalb DKC57-50 corn grown in a clay soil with optimum nitrogen rates with average rainfall and heat units. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He only goes to those "Gentlemen Clubs" AKA "Establishments" to see if this world really has a stripper that does not have tattoos, body piercings and is a non-smoker. If he ever finds such a thing actually exists he swears he will quit going. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

They say there has been more One Liners written about him then Chuck Norris and that Dos Equis Guy put together. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He was spraying a 143 acre Soybean field he had right next to the Dayton International Airport. When he flew into the field to start crop dusting he realized the Dayton Air Show was going on. His flying and crop dusting skills were so good the crowd thought he was just part of the show. When he made his last past people were chucking cans of beer at him like he was Stone Cold Steve Austin at the end of a WWE event hoping he would let out a big "Hell Yea". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The chrome Mack Truck Bulldog figure on the Grill of his Grain Truck has treed so many raccoons that Animal Rights Activists protested over it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some say you can only measure his success in Acres, Bushels, Horsepower, Rods, and Furlongs. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once dated the St. Pauli Girl. But the couple quickly went from “In a Relationship” to “Its Complicated” to “Single” all because she could not accept the fact he preferred to drink Grain Belt beer of her brand. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

A good steak to him is one that you can still smell just a hint of the cattle feedlot in it after it comes off the grill. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His Idea of "Eating Fresh" has nothing to do with going to Subway. He grows way better stuff than that. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He actually figured out a cure for Male Pattern Baldness just using a few articles commonly found around the farm. However at this point in his life he said having a full head of hair would not make him any more successful then he already is. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

While attending the first day of the 2012 Wisconsin Farm Show he was asked NOT to enter the tractor driving competition just to give someone else a chance. Just then an announcement came over the loud speaker that a Pissed Off 1780 lb Holstein Bull was running loose around the show. He put his ear to the ground and located the bull. Not having his lasso on hand he ran into the Mills Farm and Fleet tent. Grabbed 10 feet of baling twine and lassoed the angry bull, calmed it down and led it to its pen. Needless to say nobody ended up watching the tractor driving competition because he was doing something a bit more interesting. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has a computer chip in between his cheek and gum that looks like a dip of Copenhagen. This chip has software in it that is capable of blurring out his face when people try to video tape or shoot a picture of his actions. They say the only people capable of getting a good picture of him that will show his face is the Versatile Tractor Field Service Representative and some other Farmer around Fairfax Iowa. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once partied with the Hee-Haw Girls and did a rap song with Junior Samples while Roy Clark played a banjo. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Yes he was the Spelling Bee champ back in school but he always knew that someday this thing called a computer would be invented and they would have this program called "Spell Check". He hopes one day others will discover this "Spell Check" feature. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

They say when he is pitch forking cow pies out of the cattle pens at the county fair, it draws a bigger crowd than a Barack Obama rally. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Farm Equipment Manufacturers are amazed how he can have a tractor or combine get struck by lightning and instead of frying all the computers it actually downloads a newer version of software they have not even created yet. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Only because of the heavy duty grill guard on the front of his truck and the fact that he knows all the good places to eat and hang out in the state of Iowa was he asked to lead Mitt Romney’s tour bus around the Hawkeye State. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

A few facts about him you may have never of guessed. The most played song on his I-pod is Katy Perry Hot ‘n’ Cold; He eats several pounds of celery each week, He actually watched part of that movie about the Spice Girls called “Spice World” but fell asleep, When in the southern United States he has been known to pick up dead armadillos’ along the roadway and haul them back to Ohio and carefully lay them on a busy road just to mess with the State Wildlife Officials and has paid way too much for farmland just to keep certain other farmers away from him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once took second place in a mini-modified tractor pull driving a Segway. He later said he could have won 1st place but feared he may leave too big of a carbon footprint. Al Gore was so happy about this he offered him over 2 billion dollars in stimulus money to do a study to see if the Missouri River could have possibly been formed from wind erosion. He declined and told Al he had way better things to do such as rotate the seed boxes on his corn planter. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

They say you are what you eat. That would explain why women refer to him as quite the Beef Cake. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

We all heard of Roundup Ready Corn and Soybeans. He took it a step farther and created Raccoon Ready Corn. He has had zero coon damage since. He is also currently working on Groundhog Ready Soybeans. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although he has been in many tractor pulls over the years he does not have a lot of First Place Trophies to show for it. He does however have awards for things like “Best Wheelie” “Best Broken Crankshaft” “Best Burnt Clutch” “Most Likely to Destroy a Tractor Rear End” “Biggest Oil Leak” and “Best Ever of Totally Destroying a Tractor Pull Sled.” He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When going to the local coffee shop for breakfast at the beginning of corn harvest he wears a pair of hip-waders. He says the bullshit can get pretty deep as the others talk about their crop yields. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

They say he causes quite a stir when he walks through the cattle barn at the county fair all because of his Irish Spring "Corn Silage" Scented Body Wash and his Scope Alfalfa flavored mouthwash. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His Stihl weed eater has an acre counter on it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Law enforcement officials refer to him as Armed and Extremely fun to hang out with. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His chicken farm and a short video of him was featured in the movie "Napoleon Dynamite". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once walked the stage at a Major Fashion Show in New York City to the beat of that “Right Said Fred” song “I’m Too Sexy”. The crowd was in awe since they had never seen a man walk the stage so graciously in Wrangler Jeans, Cowboy Boots and Hat and a Denim Shirt. He then spoke to the crowd about the importance of checking nitrate levels in corn silage and got a standing ovation from the puzzled crowd. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some claim to have seen him driving through town in a low rider pickup truck listening to what sounded like rap music. That was not the case at all. He was just hauling 6000 lbs of seed corn in the bed of a 1/2 ton truck while some Cowboy Troy was playing on the radio. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

It’s no surprise that he holds several records and awards for outstanding crop yields. Although not largely publicized, he also currently holds the world record for most chickens de-beaked in an hour’s time. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

After a roto-tilling incident in a flower bed he chopped up the Time-Warner Cable High-Speed Internet wire coming into his house. He was able to splice the cable line back together using some old worn out auger flighting from a Gleaner Combine. Others are scratching their heads wondering how he hit a cable that’s was supposed to be buried 2 feet down with a roto-tiller. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

A few years ago while at a County Fair Tractor pull in Wisconsin he blew the motor in his pulling tractor at the finish line. He was scheduled to pull the next night at “The Big One” the Canfield Fair in Ohio. Not having time to rebuild and engine and make the trip both he got his 12 year old son to drive the semi while he rebuilt the tractor engine on the semi trailer. His son did just fine as he was well verse on proper CB radio lingo which helped him avoid the Diesel Bears and Chicken Houses. He also had on his Double Clutching Cowboy Boots. The trip went pretty well other than a little shootout with some Gang Bangers in Chicago. He was just finishing up adjusting the valves on the engine as they pulled into the Mahoning County fairgrounds and they even had time to go get a Dirusso’s Sausage Sandwich before the pull started. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He made his mind up many years ago that he would never date a city girl again all because he had one that caused quite a scene when she found his "magazine stash". Apparently she could not handle the fact that he was a regular reader of Tractor House Magazine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His fan club may not be the biggest club in the world but it certainly is the best! He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One day while sitting in his farm shop he was thinking about his upcoming Elk hunting trip in Colorado. He was trying out his new Elk call and within hours two Elk from the Cincinnati Zoo showed up in his barn yard. Several days later an Elk herd out of New Mexico also appeared. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Several People claimed to have seen him at the National Tractor Pulls in Bowling Green Ohio and at a Versatile Tractor Gathering in Cayuga North Dakota, All on the same day. There was even a report he was spotted eating at a Cracker Barrel Restaurant somewhere in between. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once hauled a semi load of dairy cows from a farm in Freedom New York to Dumas Texas. He stopped at a Rest Area in Missouri to feed, water and milk the cows. Not wanting the milk to go to waste he made up some homemade ice cream, milk shakes and cheese for anybody traveling down Interstate 70 that day. Weeks later he received a check in the mail from the state of Missouri for the job the cows did mowing and fertilizing the yard of the Rest Area. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Special K cereal is only special for one reason and that reason being he’s the one that grew and harvested the grain used. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once successfully did a major engine over haul on a V8 Deutz diesel engine on a Gleaner R60 combine while twirling a Snap On torque wrench in his other hand like a baton. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is often asked why he does not wear a wedding ring and the standard answer you will get is they are dangerous to wear when working around the farm. His wife asks him why he doesn’t wear it when they go out and he just tells her he misplaced it. However the truth of the matter is one day while baling hay he was having trouble with one of the knotters. He ended up using his wedding ring to shim up the knotter shaft on the baler and it has not missed tying a knot since. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He does not watch “Shark Week” on the Discovery Channel however he is a regular reader of “Farm Week Magazine.” He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

After a good day on the farm he is known to do a series of cartwheels in the yard before walking in the house then he will do his signature tap dance on the wooden kitchen floor all while his wife and daughter completely roll their eyes. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He was recently asked to compete in a golf tournament for High School Football Awareness. He declined simply because while on the golf course all he can concentrate on is how he would lay the course out into a corn field. He has also been kicked off a few golf courses because for taking soil samples while waiting on others to get out of his way. He also does not find the driving range a good place to test drive new tractors as the few times he has done that the tractor appears to show damage from golf ball size hail. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

At one point he owned and re-painted so many Blue Ford and New Holland tractors he was thought to be part of the Blue Man Group in Las Vegas. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once made a silage pile so big & high that it changed weather patterns and was given its own postal zip code. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Trust me when I say his Smart Phone is way smarter than other’s Smart Phones. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

While attending the 2012 Farm Progress show in Boone Iowa he was walking by the Miller Welder tent and jokingly said how a Miller Lite sounded really good. They said they could not help him but asked if he wanted to demonstrate a new welder. Well after they watched him weld a vertical with one hand and run a cutting torch with the other all while chewing on an electronic Cuban cigar they soon found him a bottle of Miller Lite. Rumors started shortly after that he must have been drunk and crawling around a harvested corn field but he was actually crawling around checking for grain loss. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once got a phone call to contract raise some gerbils for some actor named Richard something. He declined as he has a pretty strict No Rodent policy on the farm. Although he once let a family of beavers move in as they were good for cleaning up the trees in the fence rows and have dammed up the local creeks and rivers to contain irrigation water. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He was asked by NASA officials to take a journey to Mars to see if it would be suitable for agriculture. He declined all because they do not have any Cracker Barrel Restaurants or Holiday Inn Express hotels. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he was 4 years old he was playing in the sand box with his toy 1/16th scale John Deere 7520 Tractor pulling a centerfold disc. One particular Sunday afternoon he noticed the harvested corn field by his sand box was on fire. He ran and told his parents who called the local fire department. 20 minutes later when the fire department had arrived he had the fire contained by discing around it with his toy tractor and disc. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He was once running a combine in front of a large group of people and as hard as it may be to believe he actually plugged the machine. (He was texting, facebooking, combining and talking on his blue tooth) Not wanting the crowd to see he made a mistake he opened the combine door, pointed behind the crowd and yelled, hey look I see Bigfoot. While they were distracted he unplugged the combine and was back running in mere seconds. Nobody ever knew he even plugged the machine and several folks swear up and down they really did see Bigfoot. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although never largely publicized in American History books. Early journals written by Lewis and Clark show several Indian tribes asking about a man that would be coming and farming the prairies like no other. Breaking records in things from crop yields to strongman competitions to break dancing contests. In fact that first winter spent with the Mandan tribe in North Dakota show Indian paintings of what would later appear to be large 4WD tractors and combines and 24 row corn planters. I think I know who they may have been talking about. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has not attended the Canfield Fair in many years after a having a major disagreement with the judges at the annual Rooster Crowing Contest. It all started when his Leghorn Rooster “Auggie” crowed so loud and so often all the other roosters were scared into silence. It also got back to the judges that Auggie left the poultry barn to get Richardson’s French fries then came back and was talking smack to all the hens. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Few people know that he is the one that invented that dance called the “Electric Slide”. He accidently created the popular dance when he got tripped up and entangled into a barbed wire fence that was hooked up to and electric fencer. The whole incident was caught on tape by Google Earth. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once read on Facebook something about people complaining about being so bored. He had to look the word “bored” up on the dictionary as it was something he has never ever experienced in his life although he thinks one time he may have been close to being bored when he had a delayed flight and was stuck for several hours at the Regina Saskatchewan airport. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

People have often referred to him as a “Jack Of All Trades”. Daily duties can include everything from tractor and combine operator to herdsman to mechanic to manager. However he has to be ready for any challenge that may lie ahead. He once had to fill in as the Fiddle Player in a Mexican Restaurant when a band member in the Mariachi band slipped and fell on a spilled Enchilada. And most recently he was asked to fill in for a gig with the local Ukrainian dance club at the county fair when the one member overdosed on an Italian Sausage sandwich. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once built a barn 1/4" out of square just to see if anybody would notice. Well they must have because several other farmers in the area built new barns and they too were 1/4" out of square. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His diet mainly consists of home grown beef, pork, poultry and lots of fresh vegetables. However he understands the importance of Omega 3 Fatty Acids so on Tuesdays and Fridays he eats fresh fish flown in from Iceland from his long time snowmobiling/slednecks buddy Gummi Galfyr. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When the local Farmers State Bank wanted to build a new facility they actually came to him for the loan. He gave them fair terms and they were required to put up a sign out front that says “Financing provided by the World’s Most Interesting Farmer all because he is indeed the Most Interesting Farmer in the World.

They say when he is waiting in line to dump grain at the local elevator he will crank up the stereo on the tractor or semi and work on some new dance moves. Some even claim to have seen him doing the “Boot Scootin Boogie” on the scales at the grain elevators in Eldorado Ohio and Vinton Iowa. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Back in high school he wrote a paper on the importance of adjusting stripper plates on the corn head and butt shelling. The teacher said she was offended and gave him 5 detentions. The next day he drove a combine to school with the corn head attached. He also had a few ears of corn and explained what a stripper plate on the corn head was. He also took one of the ears of corn and explained butt shelling as an ear hits the stripper plate. The principal felt so bad after this that he served the 5 detentions for him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One dry summer while pumping irrigation water out of an Ohio Farm pond on Washingtonville Road he actually discovered a coral reef as the water lever came down. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He does not have a star on the Hollywood walk of fame but one section of that sidewalk has an impression left by his cowboy boots. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One day while starting out a new combine in an Iowa corn field with two guys from Russia he solved a grain loss problem on the corn head with a pocket knife, a section of the bed mat in his pickup truck and a few self tapping screws. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When making new hydraulic hoses he can crimp the steel fittings on the end of the hose with his bare hands. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Tailgating to him is rebuilding a hydraulic cylinder or a corn head gearbox on the back of his truck while drinking a Grain Belt beer. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He was recently asked if he could help referee some NFL football games. Of course he had to turn it down as it is peak harvest season on the farm and he gets his fill of refereeing guys on all the internet Ag Talk forums over which Manufacturer makes the best Tractor, Combine or Pickup Truck. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he starts up his combine and the performance and yield monitors are running diagnostics and acquiring satellite signals it will say "Please Enjoy the Music While You Wait" then play "Metallica – Harvester of Sorrow". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can NOT walk on water but he once made it 3/4 of the way across the top of a manure lagoon on a large dairy farm. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In the fall of the year when he is spreading chicken manure people in an 8 mile radius complain about the terrible smell which he can’t understand. It kind of has a peanut butter and jelly smell to him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can give a fairly accurate manure nutrient analysis with just a little pinch between his cheek and gum. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

While attending his daughter’s volleyball game a girl was up to serve the ball and yelled “Service”. So he went out in the parking lot and changed the oil and greased his pickup truck. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once designed a John Deere corn head and called it the Chameleon series. The color of the corn head would actually change colors in green corn so the combine operator can easily see the row dividers and snouts. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although not a baseball player or fan he has hit a few home runs over the years but most of his success has just come from going for base hits. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When computers first hit the marketplace he didn’t like anything that was offered at the time. He decided he could build a better one. He started with a Curtis Mathes TV. Added a circuit board from an old WFE SM1000 Corn Planter Monitor. Then added a wiring harness, points, condenser and distributor cap from a 1976 Ford Granada. Other key components included an Atari controller, a blower fan from a 1972 AMC Gremlin, a knotter shaft from a John Deere 24 hay baler and a few Tinker Toys. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Folks that have been lucky enough to hang out with him for several days report they learned a whole new meaning to places like “a back road”, “the middle of nowhere”, “out in the sticks” and BFE. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

With good help being hard to find he has been seen baling hay and jumping off the moving tractor and running back to the wagon to stack bales. He can even lasso the suicide knob on the tractor steering wheel from the hay wagon to turn the tractor at the end of the field. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

It is not uncommon to see him running around the farm yard with a bunch of balloons. You see during hay season just as the sun is coming up he sends up his own weather balloons as he says with all the media bias out there you can’t trust them on the weather forecast either. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some called it stupid; others call it wasteful spending when he purchased a Gleaner S77 combine and a Gerringhoff corn head just to enter the combine demolition derby at the county fair. However after winning the derby he was able to buff out the scratches and still use the combine for corn harvest. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he was a kid trick or treating he received a few packs of Candy Corn. Instead of eating it he treated and planted it the following spring. To everyone’s surprise it grew and yielded rather well. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

On Halloween Night he dresses up in a Bigfoot suit and hides in a corn field close to the road. When he hears a car coming he will run out in front of the car and into the woods across the way. The next day he really enjoys watching the local news and reading the newspaper about all the Bigfoot sightings. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

While getting his annual physical at the doctor they were having trouble with the blood pressure monitor. He walked out to his truck and came back in with a hydraulic pressure gauge and flow meter and was able to check it with that. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Every tractor puller has their own technique for grinding tires. He has actually discovered stubble damaged tires from corn stalks work best. That is why you will see him install his tractor pulling tires on his grain cart to get them in shape for the next year’s tractor pulling season. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can seek out Aflatoxins in corn just by the way the dust is rolling out the back of the combine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn’t always think about farming, Christmas is often on his mind. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

If he was to actually wear a pair of White Skinny Jeans or Yoga Pants out in public several thousand other people would do the same the very next day. However don’t expect this to really happen anytime soon. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

A few years back a Custom Harvester bought a fleet of ten new combines. One of the combines just had hard time combining wheat. The selling dealer and even the combine manufacturer were in a fritz trying to make it work. They agreed they would call in the WMIF to see what he thought the problem was. Now he is no doctor but he actually diagnosed the combine was Gluten Intolerant. He later said with all the people jumping on this whole “Gluten Free” band wagon it was no surprise that a combine did to. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

If he would happen to wake up in the middle of the night he likes to have 4 chocolate chip cookies and an 8 oz. glass of milk. If he does not have enough cookies left to make four or enough milk to fill the glass the entire deal is off. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One day while mowing road side ditches with his open station White 2-105 tractor and 15 foot bat wing mower he came upon an 8’ x 12’ Obama-Biden 2012 sign that somebody had placed in his field. Now nobody knows for sure what happened to this sign other than it disappeared while he was mowing. He claims he never even seen the sign but recalls hearing the mower make a rumble and the tractor let out a puff of black smoke. Some claim to have seen him back up and mow that same spot again. Now farther up the ditch they say a Romney-Ryan and even a Hulk Hogan for President sign stood and were nicely mowed around. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has had many CB Handles and Nicknames over the years such as Plow Boy, Sod Buster, Farmhand and most recently “Big Shooter”. A name the ladies gave him after witnessing him shooting coyotes and ground hogs out of the window of a moving tractor driving across plowed ground. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His good friend Robbie Kneivel triple dog dared him to do a daring jump on a motorcycle. Not wanting to back down he got out his 1984 Honda CR500 dirt bike and took on the daring feat of jumping Rosie O’Donnell’s butt. He barely cleared the large mounds and credits most of it to the large 500cc stroker motor. He does not like to talk about this incident and has not touched whiskey since. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has seen several neighboring farmers with that famous “Farmers Feed the World” bumper sticker. Not wanting to be like everybody else he made up his own bumper sticker that says “Farmers Feed the World and it looks like they are eating well”. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One morning at the local coffee shop somebody listed a little 2 seater convertible car for sale or trade. This got his attention as a little car could/would be handy at times. He started working the seller and horse traded for the car offering an Avco New Idea 703 power unit, a Howard Para-plow, a Sandy Koufax Rookie card and a Fleetwood Mac 8 track tape. After getting the car titled he started thinking of all the uses for it around the farm. It was discovered that taking a cruise with the top down was a great way to get all the farm dust blown off your clothing. It can also haul up to 116 Krause disc blades on the front seat and 244 field cultivator sweeps in the trunk. Rumor has it now he is building a grill guard and a trailer hitch for it to pull the combine header cart around this fall as the cars short wheel base will make it easy to maneuver into the fields. Some also claim they seen the car hauling ass across a harvested soybean field last fall going to a neighbors hog roast. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although he does not watch much TV he was pretty excited when he heard about this show called American Pickers. After watching he was rather disappointed as the show had nothing to do with picking corn. See back in the day he was known as a “Corn Picking Son of a Gun” when he would tear into a field of corn with his Minneapolis Moline U302 with a 2 row mounted New Idea corn picker. However they say in the early to mid 80’s he handed the “Corn Picking Son of a Gun” title over to a group of boys in the Greenford Ohio area after watching them hand pick sweet corn on rainy days. He said they could make ears of corn and cuss words fly like nothing he had ever seen before. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One morning while having breakfast at the local café he received a phone call about some new strippers being delivered to the farm. Word quickly got around the community and hundreds of pickup trucks where heading to his farm to check it out. He just laughed watching the look on everybody’s faces when they seen the local John Deere dealers semis pulling in with his 3 new 7460 Cotton Strippers. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

This fall while harvesting corn in a field just behind the local school a bearing failed up near the grain tank of the combine and heated up the steel. This caused a pretty sizeable loaf of corn bread to be baked inside the combine. Meanwhile the kids where into their second week of school and already sick of the new Michelle Obama mandated school lunches and came out in the field and feasted on the freshly baked corn bread. Several kids jumped in and wanted to help out changing the faulty bearing in the combine. To show his appreciation the next day in the parking lot of the school he grilled fresh steaks and pork chops served with fresh homegrown vegetables and real mashed potatoes and milk. The kids claimed after these two days of good meals they were able to learn so much more in school and now understand proper nutrition. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One day while watching the field tiling demonstrations at the Ohio Farm Science Review the tiling machine was having a few issues so without missing a beat he along with 3 of his Mexican farmhands grabbed a few hand shovels and matics and dug a ditch and laid field tile like nothing the crowd had ever seen before. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although in his High School Senior Yearbook he was not voted for things like “Best Looking” or “Most Spirited” but that year only a special one was created for “Most likely to break the world record for most tons of chicken manure hauled in an hour”. Others find it mind boggling that he was not nominated for “Most Talented”. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Daisy Duke is jealous of how good he looks in his denim bib overall cut offs. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One day while hauling a wide combine on his semi across Indiana he was told he would need an escort/pilot vehicle to lead and follow. With short notice and good help hard to find he ran both of the pilot vehicles with an APP off of his i-Phone. This would explain why he was seen walking out of the local Adult Book Store with two inflatable dolls. He dressed them in bib overalls and set them in the driver’s seat to pose as the drivers in the pilot vehicles. He gave the two dolls CB handles “Bubbles” and “Sweet Cheeks”. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When big farming areas across the country start getting infested with feral hogs he is often asked to come in and call them out. His hog calling skills are so good they can flush out even some of the most stubborn of wild hogs and on more than one occasion has even called in some “White Trash Honeys” shopping at Wal-Mart. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some say he only watched the Vice Presidential Debate to see if the foreign policy part included any questions about rumors of a possible grain embargo in Kazakhstan or The Ukraine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

While returning from a trip in Maine he was pulled over by a State Policeman in Massachusetts just so the officer could find out where he got the grill guard on the front of his pickup truck. After the officer checked out his truck they talked about things like proper ballast on large 4 wheel drive tractors and Midwest Farm Girls before he headed back West to the land of prosperity. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One evening after losing a game of Black Jack with Snoop Dog, Al Sharpton, Queen Latifa, and David Allan Coe over a land lease for 750 acres of prime farm land in central Illinois, he had to put an Obama 2012 bumper sticker on his truck courtesy of Al Sharpton. After leaving the card game and backing out of his parking spot the foot pedal on his truck apparently stuck and his truck reached a top reverse speed over 60 MPH then clipped a fence post tearing the back bumper off the truck. The strange thing is Al tried to order him a new rear bumper but was told it will be on backorder until after the election. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When asked what he thought of “The View” he said he liked it. Of course he thought they were talking about the view he was seeing out of the cab of the tractor or combine. He thought a Whoopi Goldberg was a clump of black soil left behind the chisel plow. He was stunned when they told him they were talking about a TV show. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In 1984 he set and still holds the world record for most tons of corn silage harvested in a day with an IH 1468 tractor and a Gehl 1000 Forage Harvester with a TR3038 two row corn head. Much of the credit goes because of the extensive knowledge he learned from a tall Dutchman from Upstate New York named Barry on how to properly set the crop guides on the corn head. He also picked up pointers on sharpening chopper knives and keeping the proper heel clearance as well maintaining a square edge on the shear bar. These two guys working together also set the world record for most cans of Miller Lite consumed in a day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When driving down the road, if a good looking farm girl was on one side of the road and a 4WD tractor was on the other side he would actually have a hard time deciding which one to check out first. He would most likely just try to get the girl in the tractor so he could admire them both. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

While sitting at the airport waiting on a connecting flight you may catch him drinking coffee and reading Successful Farming Magazine, or more likely, he will be people watching, taking a survey of what percentage of people that wear “Work out Wear” in the airport actually “Work Out”. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He successfully convinced Obama and Biden to Vote for Mitt Romney. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

With all the fear of what Hurricane Sandy AKA Frankenstorm could do to New York City he received a phone call from Mayor Bloomberg asking if he could bring some big tractors and high capacity manure lagoon pumps to the city to pump excess water back out into the ocean. He said only under one condition and that condition was the mayor had to have a 20 oz Pepsi waiting for him when he arrived. (Preferably a Pepsi throwback with real sugar). He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Because of his rock hard body he was asked to dance at a Chipendales event. He walked the stage with nothing on but Cowboy boots and hat and Boxers, Long Johns, Wranglers, Western Shirt, Heavy Socks, Carhartt Bibs and Coat. This way he had lots of pockets for all the dollar bills the ladies were throwing his way. He danced to the beat of The Gap Band –You Dropped a Bomb on Me and used the Stage name of “Dump Truck”. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

With all the talk of the big waves in the Atlantic Ocean he put his fall tillage efforts on hold and headed East with his surf board and Wrangler wet suit to do a little surfing. Word has it film crews were on hand to get some footage to use in the new film Point Break II. His surfing buddies call him “Frankensurfer”. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although he has never voted for a Democrat. He does not get mad when the Democrats place there election signs all over his farm ditches and intersections in the middle of the night. He just goes out and picks them all up as the wire used in the sign makes good brazing rod. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although he likes and uses all the latest gadgets and technology in agriculture. He is still very proud of the fact he gets to cast his vote in that old Township Grange Hall that sits out in the country. Where he can pull up in his pickup truck with a rifle in the back window. Where he doesn’t have to lock his doors because nobody will take anything and where his cowboy boots make that unique sound as he walks across that old wooden floor. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once saw one of those TV commercials for some pill that was supposed to give the ultimate male experience. He just laughed as he has been living the ultimate male experience most of his life and it has nothing to do with acting like the fools on the commercial. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He was recently contacted by Willie Nelson and Snoop Dog about custom farming some ground in Colorado and Oregon about growing weed. Although they promised him a good payout he told them No as weeds hurt crop yields and this would go against everything he has ever known. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Of course he has GPS guided auto steer on his sprayer. However he still has foam markers just in case he ever has the urge to take a shave while in the field. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His local farm equipment dealer offers him valet parking. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One Sunday afternoon during a pickup game of basketball at the park in Nemaha Iowa he Dunked on Charles Barkley in a pair of Wranglers and Cowboy boots while catching a pass from his good friend Bill Laimbeer. Laimbeer later high fived him and told him he has always had the desire to knock Barkley on his ass. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

To be successful and get lots of work done he has always been a multi-tasker. That’s why he hired Jonathon Goldsmith as one of his grain truck drivers. Jonathon can haul a load of grain to the Dos Equis brewery, film the next “Worlds Most Interesting Man” commercial while there and haul a load of brewers grain back to the farm for cattle feed. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although he is not a Concrete worker by trade he has poured and finished most of the barn floors and grain bin foundations on his farm. Many say watching him do concrete work is amazing. He handles the bull float like a boat man pushing a boat at the Venetian Hotel in Vegas. When working the hand trowels they say he has the moves of a chef at a Japanese Steakhouse and when he runs the power trowel it looks like something many say should be on “Dancing with the Stars”. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has often been called a workaholic for the long days he puts and some people even claim he has no life. They are wrong cause he is making money doing what he loves and does it all with a smile on his face. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he is building terraces in his rolling farm land not only does he take into consideration on how they will best stop soil erosion, but he also lays them out in such a fashion that they will make good snowmobile jumps in the winter time. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One of his old girlfriends claims she was the one that got away. He’s damn glad she did. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although he is pretty quick to make decisions he is still undecided if the best tasting turkeys come from the farms of Fort Recovery Ohio or near Knoke Iowa. One thing he does know for sure is the Turkey manure has a unique smell at both locations. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He spends Black Friday in the tractor plowing a field turning the field black. He just waits and does his Christmas shopping two weeks before Christmas when the same items will still be on sale at an even better price and he doesn’t have to stand in line with people passing gas from there Thanksgiving dinner. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One muddy November day while tiling a field about 40 miles from his house his truck would “NOT” shift out of four wheel drive. Instead of taking a chance wearing out his tires he took the cross country route and took the field and road ditches the whole way home and cut 13 miles off the trip. He was also impressed how well the truck suspension held up jumping them roadside ditches and he never spilled his coffee. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He recently attended a WWE Monday Night Raw event and was enjoying his front row seats when a large white trash woman wearing a “Ryback-Feed Me More” t-shirt sitting behind him stood up hitting him in the back of the head with her bucket of popcorn. The impact knocked him over the rails and into the path of “The Great Khali” who just got tossed out of the ring by “The Undertaker”. Well The Great Khali mistook the WMIF for Bill Goldberg and started beating him unmercifully with a chair then rammed him into the steps. Having nothing to lose he looked under the ring for a chair where instead there just so happened to be an unloading auger off of a Lexion combine and a heavy duty drawbar off of a Versatile 575 tractor. He swung the two large pieces of steel around like numb chucks and made a rally back and pinned The Great Khali and took the World Heavyweight Championship belt. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has never been on a deer hunt that lasted more than 20 minutes. He can’t help it his farm offers the finest grazing that brings in the biggest bucks. They also say the first day of deer season Cabela’s has a truck waiting at the farm to buy his hunted deer to mount and display at one of their stores. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He actually cured a bad case of jock itch with soybean chaff. Of course this discovery was by accident when he caught his pants on the frame of the combine and it ripped open the back of his jeans and boxers just as a strong wind gust out of the north blew a large amount of chaff off the combine and it filled his drawers. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When asked what he would do different if he won the record jackpot Powerball. He calmly said “Nothing” I would just have a lot more money in the bank. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He created and grew a hybrid of watermelon that broke Gallagher’s hammer. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His vision is so good he makes his mega zoom binoculars jealous. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One January day when he was back in school in Agricultural Mechanics class a substitute teacher was filling in one Friday. He and several students went into the welding room and they stood around him with their eyes closed and sleeves rolled up as he welded. His point was the flash from the welding was more effective then the sun and any tanning bed. On Monday when the teacher was back in class he had a puzzled look on his face and thought they went somewhere tropical for the weekend. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Every now and then he has the desire to get one of his older tractors from the 1970’s out in the field for a few rounds. However he does not have the urge to sport a 1970’s hairdo or wardrobe. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once cooked a couple of eggs over easy on the grates of a gas grill with no skillet while showing that jerk wad from Hell’s Kitchen how to fillet a pork chop with his other hand. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he heard that the drought of 2012 was affecting river barge traffic on the Mississippi River he contacted Michelin Tire to make him up 8 – 800/70Rx42 flotation paddle tires for his Versatile 575 tractor. He was able to float his tractor into the river and push the barges of grain up and down the Mississippi, Missouri, Wabash, Illinois and Ohio Rivers. When things are going good he can open up the cab door on the tractor and do a little fishing. One night as the sun was setting he thought he seen a Beluga Whale on the river bank near Frenchman’s Bayou Arkansas but it later turned out to be a large white women. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he takes his family out in the forest to cut down and bring home that special Christmas tree the experience may be slightly different then other families. Instead of the usual family SUV heading out to the Christmas tree farm with a bow saw he will get out his fleet of semi trucks. One with a flat bed trailer to haul the tree, another hauling a John Deere log Skidder tractor to pull the tree out of the forest and another hauling a Caterpillar D9 dozer and heavy winch just in case the others need pulled out. However even with all this heavy machinery he still prefers to cut the special tree down with his axe that was autographed by Paul Bunyan. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has been voted No-Till Farmer of the Year, Conventional-Till Farmer of the Year, Minimum-Till Farmer of the Year and Strip-Till Farmer of the Year all in the same year. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although it’s safe to say he has never won over a women’s heart with his poetry skills. He has won them over many times showing them a Midwest/Prairie sunset from the seat of the combine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When it comes to raising livestock he pretty well just sticks to what he is good at with cattle, hogs, chickens and turkeys. With that said he does have a few camels, donkeys and sheep that he raises to help the local churches at Christmas time with the live Nativity scenes. When he is trucking these exotic animals around his CB handle is “The Wise Man”. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is sick of all this political correctness and just prefers to be called a farmer rather than a grower. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has created a hybrid of popcorn that can pop itself on the ear in the field. After a few slight modifications to his combine he was able to even harvest it. He can also sell it for quadruple the market value because he says it was popped organically. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can get his point across just giving a simple head nod with his cowboy hat on. This also works well for him at farm auctions. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His chicken hatchery set the record for most “Tweets” per hour long before Twitter was cool. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

This time of year it’s possible to see him at a shopping mall somewhere in the Heartland. He may be seen shooting the breeze with Santa, Looking at tools in Sears, Maybe in Radio Shack looking at some miscellaneous items or even possibly in Victoria’s Secret reading the ingredients on the back of a bottle of women’s body lotion looking for another opportunity to market corn or soybeans. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When checking over his herd of Black Angus cattle on his Colorado Ranch he came across a newly born albino calf. So he did the right thing and named the calf Charolais. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

That one Christmas song that mentions that man from Tennessee that was heading for Pennsylvania and some Homemade Pumpkin Pie. Well turns out he actually met that same guy at a Cracker Barrel restaurant in Southern Indiana. He even sold him a 280 horsepower tractor and a 20’ x 80’ Harvestore silo and the guy doesn’t even farm. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

People that do not believe in Bigfoot sure change their mind after going deer hunting with him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

You will never see him on the cover of Top Producer Magazine. However you will see him at the farm of the guy that was on the cover of Top Producer Magazine exactly two years later buying him out at auction. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

There is so much activity going on at his farm even on the calmest of days his wind turbines are turning full speed. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

During a severe Midwest ice storm a train pulling 75 loaded cars of grain could not get the traction it needed to leave the local grain elevator. The manager called him up to see if he could bring down one of his big four wheel drive tractors to give the train a pull. Having his fleet of tractors all cleaned up and put away from the winter he headed down to the elevator in his truck with his slightly modified Stihl leaf blower. He stood behind the train and hit it with the flow of air and it was soon on its way. There were even reports of a massive wind storm knocking down tree branches 3 counties away. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn’t always get to eat lunch at a Panera Bread but when he does he claims the sandwiches are fair, the soup is good and the woman watching is excellent. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once attended a metal concert and was enjoying the show and some of the hardcore dancing. Some punkers thought it would be cool for him to jump in the mosh pit as they never seen a person mosh in cowboy boots. Several of the punk rockers that slammed into him described it as the same feeling as skateboarding into a concrete wall only way more enjoyable. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He remembered his wife saying something about wanting a new blue mixer for Christmas. Although he thought it was kind of odd she wanted a piece of farm equipment that cost’s well over 100K for a Christmas gift he headed down to the local dealer. He ended up buying her a new Patz 3600 series II trailer trip screw TMR vertical mixer. He said the look on her face Christmas morning when she seen the large 1,580 cubic foot machine sitting in the drive was a look he never seen her make before. Apparently she was asking for a KitchenAid KSM150 Artesian series mixer in Cobalt Blue for the Kitchen. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Many years ago shortly after graduating high school his father thought it would be good for him to try a non farm job just to be sure of what he wanted to do. He set out into the world and worked as a roadie for Bananarama, a D.J./Bouncer at a Gentlemen’s Club, a chef at a Waffle House in Alabama, a photographer for Playboy Magazine and a personal trainer for Lou Ferigno. Although he agreed it was all fun it was nothing even close to the excitement of farming. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Every Christmas Eve when he is done feeding all his cattle he will mix up a special batch of feed for Santa's Reindeer. It includes corn silage, baled alfalfa hay, grain, mollasses, and is topped of with some carrots and candy corns. While the reindeer are eating this late night snack Santa will come in and wake him up. They have milk and cookies together and talk about things like grain futures and good looking women that made Santa's naughty list. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He spends Christmas Morning in his own house opening gifts with his wife & kids then enjoys a breakfast of prime rib and eggs. He generally ends up with a few new clothes every year but when he dresses to go to the Kin folk later in the day he does not wear his new swag. He generally shows up at the family gatherings in a referee suit. Every Christmas he has to break up a fight between the Kin over arguments like Best Make of Tractor, Best Pickup Truck, Best Seed Corn Varieties and who has the Best Christmas Light Display. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some claim he looks “Ticked Off” and “Really Serious” all the time. They obviously don’t know him very well. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has read several people post on Facebook that they have the best life ever. He knows they are completely full of it because he obviously has the best life ever. However he will never post that as his status as people would feel he is trying to cover something up. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

While visiting some relatives in Eastern Ohio during the holidays some Goat Roper from Dungannon went off the road and wiped out ½ mile of their fence. He went out to help them repair the fence but they ran out of barbed wire and no hardware stores were open late so he stringed some popcorn together and finished out the last 200 feet of fence line off what most thought was just a Christmas decoration for the tree. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he shows his face in public he has been told he looks like John Wayne, Brad Pitt, Andre Agassi and even Dr. Phil. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although he will never share all the ingredients of his homemade apple spiced egg nog what we do know is it all starts with eggs that were partially cracked while in the chicken cage and apples that fell off the tree and have just a hint of rotten to them. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

This time of year while others are thinking about losing weight he is actually thinking how to gain back the 15 lbs he lost during the Holiday Season. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

It is an annual New Year’s Tradition to eat Pork and Sauerkraut to clean out the system for a prosperous New Year. He also discovered years ago a 6 pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer followed by eating at the Waffle House can be even more effective. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

With all the farm talk that goes on in his house during the holidays and his success in growing crops it’s no surprise the artificial Christmas tree in his living room grows 2 – 3 feet taller during the month of December. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

All the years of moving wide farm machinery up and down the road he never ever hit a mailbox or road sign. However they claim back when he was in high school he took out several mailboxes and road signs with pumpkins flying out of the bed of his pickup truck. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In 1972 he won the Heismann Trophy based solely on the way he can lay out a drainage ditch in a field. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once had a visit on the farm from some party girl named Paris Hilton. She was extremely excited because she heard he had a bullwhip and was capable of pulling an “All Nighter”. The thing she didn’t know was the bullwhip is no longer used and his version of an “All Nighter” was driving a tractor through the night chisel plowing harvested corn ground. She later said the highlight of the evening was at 3AM crawling around in the dirt under the chisel plow changing out a broken plow point and that he makes pretty good coffee. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One time while doing some test work on some tractors in Passau Germany he was clipping his hair at his hotel. He thought his clippers were humming louder than normal and cutting extremely well. That was until the hotel went dark and he later learned the breaker box at the hotel fried. He is good at a lot of things but converting a North American electrical device to European is not one of them. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In the winter months he teaches an aerobics class. Okay not like what you’re thinking. He purposely does not plow under about 80 acres of corn ground. When he harvested the field he cut the stalks at exactly 14’’ high. He then has the fitness class dress up in heavy coveralls and work boots. They then march across the corn stalks for 45 minutes. Many claim although it’s a simple system it has way better results than the Ab Roller, Shake Weight and The Body by Jake Firm Flex. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Ohio primitive weapon season is often referred to as muzzleloader season for most. He takes it a step farther and heads out in the wilderness wearing a warm hunting outfit made from bison hides and a homemade wooden spear. However since he must have some hunter orange on for safety he wears an Orange hat that says “Gone Squatchin”. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although he has been told the Post Cereal Great Grains commercial on TV has some very attractive middle aged women on it he only noticed the wheat fields and the country landscape in the background. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The stories about him are so true and believable that Snopes and Wikipedia don’t even waste their time trying to verify them. A little information can be found about him on Google though. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One day while standing in the farm shop drinking Pepsi Colas with some neighboring farmers some show came on the TV called 16 and pregnant. He bet his buddies he could get on this show. He sent MTV a demo tape of a 16 month old Holstein heifer named Frisky who was just bred by a bull named Sure Shot. MTV sent a film crew to the farm and the crew thought Sure Shot was pretty cool because he had a ring in his nose and a number tattooed inside his ear. However the show never aired because it was too lengthy when they figured out the Masculine bull fathered hundreds of baby calves. Some talk was even going around the footage may air on another show called All My Babies ‘Mammas’. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Even his fields of Summer Fallow yield relatively well. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once converted a 350 Chevrolet engine to run solely on Keystone Light. He put the engine on an irrigation pump and said it was the smoothest running engine in the fleet. He even named it Keith and it can be heard running on Stone Quarry Road. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He found a casino in Las Vegas that serves Grain Belt Beer, Has tractor seats for the chairs in front of the slots and the slot machines use a torque amplifier lever of a Minneapolis Moline tractor to spin the machine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He actually started the UFC and it had nothing to do with ultimate fighting. It was a grain elevator called United Farmers Co-op. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

A.O Smith Harvestore silo company named there new high capacity silo unloader “The Hercules” after they seen him pitchfork a truck load of silage then pick up the back end of a loaded silage wagon and change a flat tire with his other hand. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

They say the Green Bay Packers really got there name back in the 1921 after some NFL officials seen him push and pack up a bunk full of silage with a John Deere WA-17 tractor with a front mounted blade at a dairy farm near Luxembourg Wisconsin. The thing that baffles most is the WA-17 wasn’t built until 1969. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Many folks seen the first ever front flip on a snowmobile on the Winter X games last winter. Several of his buddies seen him actually perfect this stunt back in 1988. Many recall that cold January day in Wisconsin when he was going across the Horicon Marsh on his 1986 slightly modified Arctic Cat El Tigre snowmobile. He became snow blind and hit a muskrat house at 90MPH flipped the snowmobile mid air and landed on a beaver lodge several hundred feet away. Nobody ever got any footage of this because back then video camera were so large people feared it would be too much weight on the ice. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When working in the shop on his lineup of farm equipment he can get a little carried away with the anti-seize compound. Some say by the end of the day he looks like the tin man from the Wizard of Oz or a part from a Gleaner combine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

They say he has a new Kinze 36 row corn planter with liquid fertilizer, Clean Sweep Row Cleaners, Keeton Seed Firmers, Field View Monitor, 20/20 Row Flow; Bulls eye Seed Tube, Precision Meters and topped off with an 8.3L Cummins Diesel Engine with a CVT Transmission. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he feels the Flu coming on he jumps into a skid loader and cleans out a couple of chicken and turkey barns. Then right before bed he walks over to the Anhydrous Ammonia tank and takes in a good dose. Some say it’s a bit extreme but it can successfully rid the body of most strands of the virus. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

With the ability to crop photos he can make his farm equipment look much smaller than it really is. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One evening while sitting in the bar area of a Texas Roadhouse a group of hipsters were showing of their tattoos and what they symbolized in Hebrew or Asian lettering. They looked at him and he said I have no tattoos then he put his scuffed up boots on the table and flipped his hands over showing off his calluses’ and said these symbolize hard work. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He restored his old farm shop as a place to display his lineup of antique and vintage tractors. He even has a few vintage posters hanging up on the walls like one of a Hawk Bilt hay baler, a Hedlund Martin manure spreader and of course a poster of Farah Fawcett in the red one piece swim suit and a Van Halen Diver Down flag. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He bought some of those Stalk Stompers for the corn head of his combine and thought they worked out pretty good. So good that he put them on his snowmobile to avoid track damage. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The only time in his entire life he was ever stopped for speeding was during a major Midwest ice storm. When the officer told him he clocked him doing 78 in a 70 he told the officer the ice obviously was interfering with his radar gun because he was actually doing 87 MPH. The officer let him go with a warning that day because he never seen anybody dribble a basketball out the window at 87 MPH while drinking a coffee. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

A lot of people don’t know this but one hot summer day in 1983 he was welding on a sweep plow in a field near Dumas Texas and a big storm was brewing to the West. At that same time the tour bus of that heavy metal band W.A.S.P. was going by and swerved to miss an Armadillo and ended up in the field and got stuck. Lead Singer Blackie Lawless got out of the tour bus and as he was walking over to ask him if he could pull the bus out of the field he was so impressed with the Flash of the welding and the lightning in the sky that it inspired him to write the hit song “Blind in Texas”. After helping Blackie come up with the lyrics he pulled the bus out of the field and sent the band on their way. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He actually started the whole low rider trend. Back in the day he had one of those Oldsmobile Ninety Eights because you could seat 9 in the front and 8 in the back. That kind of weight caused the car to sit low to the ground and turned out to be a hit with his Mexican Farmhands. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When interviewing a person for a job on the farm he has them over for supper as part of the interview process. He observes the speed in which they consume there meal. He learned years ago fast eaters make the best workers. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can press out a pair of dress pants and shirt and tie with an anvil and an acetylene torch much quicker than using an iron and heavy starch. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

A group of local farm boys stopped over one day to show him there newly made potato guns. After firing off several rounds of potatoes he told the boys to watch this. He hooked a 250 HP tractor up to his 52 foot manure lagoon pump, stuffed several large potatoes in the chamber and engaged the PTO. Nobody knows for sure where the potatoes landed but shortly after there was reports of a group of Taliban fighters in the Tora Bora Mountain region claiming something took out a large portion of their supplies and the mountain air lingered of a burnt hash brown casserole smell. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Due to his popularity throughout the Midwest when he wants to go out to a fancy restaurant for supper and doesn’t want to be bothered he has to make his dinner reservations under the false name of Rudolph Moldboard Bierchenschmiester. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although his repair shop has about every tool known to mankind his engine sleeve puller of choice is a 20 ton bottle jack, a 2 x 4 board and a 4lb dead blow hammer. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

After experiencing issues with wiring harnesses on tractors and combines he has designed a tractor with Wireless and Wi-Fi controls. Everything seems to work pretty good other then the radio now has trouble playing that one Motley Crue song “Live Wire”. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can perform that dance called “The Electric Slide” on his skid steer loader. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although it was not part of the halftime show he successfully landed his first ever back flip while attending a high school basketball game when he slipped on some nacho cheese sauce someone had dropped on the gym floor. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He blew out the hopper bottom of a brand new fifth wheel tri axle grain trailer. Some say it was the unloading capacity of his grain cart and others say it was the high test weight of his corn. He said it had to be a defect in Materials or Workmanship of the trailer. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One day while in the waiting room at the Dentist office he was having a conversation with another farmer about residue management. Apparently the Dentist must have over heard the conversation but didn’t fully understand what they were talking about because he gave him a teeth cleaning like no other then lectured him about residue. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The Harlem Globetrotters bus has been spotted at his farm on more than one occasion. This is one of their stops when wanting to learn a few new basketball tricks. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has fine tuned the turbo and waste gate on a Cummins engine to the point it lets off a whistle that sounds like the guitar solo of that Scorpions song "Rock You like a Hurricane". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

While some farmers are seen walking around the National Farm Machinery Show with a beer in there had he is often seen walking around the show carrying a gallon of raw milk taking a swig every seven minutes. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

While attending tractor pulls he will not talk to anyone wearing a John Deere or International hat. He claims the best conversations at tractor pulls are with the guys wearing a Versatile, Claas or a Kinze hat. He also stated the farmers with the seed corn hats aren’t too bad either. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he attends the National Farm Machinery Show in Louisville Kentucky he avoids the Men's Restroom at all costs. He describes a smell much worse than pumping a manure pit on a veal calf farm. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

To keep the State Game Warden and other hunters of his property during hunting season he has installed several motion sensors that trigger off a stereo system that plays a dueling banjo song similar to the one played in the movie Deliverance. He claims he has seen people running off his land at speeds that would qualify them for the Olympics. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When asked what his thoughts were on the latest farm bill he asked "What bill, I pay cash". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has a combine that has an unloading auger on both sides and it’s a sedan model with stadium seating. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The people that work for him seldom see him get mad and when he does he does not blow up and yell loudly. However they know when he starts speaking a version of the Hindu language they best get their shit together or else. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

With Jacques Cousteau as his witness he lassoed a 6 foot long Catfish out of the Rio Grande River near Laredo Texas while taking heavy gun fire from Mexican drug cartel across the river while he fired back with his free hand. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Now nobody knows why for sure but it’s a well known fact that Canadian, Polish and Siberian women really dig his tractor videos on Youtube. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

They say back in 2004 he was on his way back from California after giving a speech on grilled pork chops versus stuffed pork chops versus marinated pork chops. He made a quick stop in Vegas however he did not Gamble or consume any alcohol but he did Stay at a Holiday Inn Express. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

After spraying a little too much ether into an old worn out motor on an irrigation pump he created an explosion that blew a hole in the ground about 3 acres big and shook 6 states. When the authorities showed up to investigate he told then a meteorite came down from the sky and bounced back up into outer space and they believed him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He modified his 12 row corn head with breakaway row units after an incident where a telephone pole and some fence posts apparently jumped out into the outside row of corn and destroyed the head and feeder house. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One day while combining soybeans in the Mississippi Delta his machine caught fire. He called the fire department and since the combine was still running he started driving towards the fire department and met them half way. He even swung the unloading auger out and dumped into the grain cart while going 20MPH down the road. They were able to get the fire put out and the insurance company totaled out the combine. However he fixed the combine and had it back in the field running smooth in less than 24 hours. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Something about the smell of a burnt clutch at a tractor pull makes him hungry for a pepperoni, green pepper and onion pizza. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Unlike a lot of folks who won’t claim they're relatives, his actually brag about being related. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The term “Ditchbanger” is often referred to as a snowmobiler that rides the road side ditch banks taking advantage of any jumps or side hilling opportunities that lay ahead. He is also known to be quite the Ditchbanger on a dressed out Harley Davidson Motorcycle. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although he doesn’t eat a lot of fast food he says his favorite fast food in Pronghorn Antelope Roast. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has overheard folks talk about having several bottles of old wine for that special occasion. Although not a wine drinker he has stashed a few old bags of Jacques’ and Funk Non GMO seed corn for his own special occasion. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn’t always crash snowmobiles but when he does he goes big. His orange 2004 Arctic Cat King Cat can still be seen hanging high in a pine tree from Interstate 70 near Loveland Pass Colorado when he overshot a mountain peak. Others claim they can still find parts of his 1997 Arctic Cat ZR580 embedded in the rock of Drummond Island Michigan when he was riding some open water and misjudged the islands banks. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although he cannot speak French when he travels to Canada by air he fills out both the French and English side of his Declaration Form just to be sure. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He refuses to drink Guinness Beer but he did make it in the Guinness Book of World Records when he built a nuclear powered grain drier that could dry 35% corn down 22 points at a rate of 14,587 bushel per hour. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some girls think he’s kinky because he buys net wrap by the truckload. However that’s not it at all. He just round bales an awful lot of hay, straw, and corn stalks. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

During a recent interview on the local news he was asked the most exotic place he ever operated farm equipment. He thought for a few seconds and calmly answered "Arkansas, Definitely Arkansas". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

On a recent winter trip to Manitoba Canada to study the effects of Hoar Frost on hay stored outside he was sitting in the Winnipeg Airport when he overheard some Yuppie Urban type folks talking about the best places in the USA to fly to for shopping. When he heard them say places like Chicago and New York he choked up on the glass of skim milk he was sipping from a wine glass and thought how messed up this is. The best shopping ever is at the Rural King Farm & Fleet Store 15 miles from his house. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Metrosexual men consider him a fashion statement and hope to be like him one day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Back in the day he used to run a trap line in the winter months catching fur bearing animals. They say he had a way with catching Foxes, Beaver and even several Cougars. As he got older he no longer found the sport in catching Cougars and just concentrated on the others. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Every fall he can be seen sailing a clipper ship across soybean fields near Cedar Rapids Iowa. Actually it’s a Case IH 2388 combine but few can tell the difference because of the style in which he does it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although it is rare for him to get sick, when he does, it should not come as a surprise that he gets his prescriptions filled at a Farmacy rather than the Pharmacy. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

With a little bit of green thumb and a little bit of mouth to mouth resuscitation he actually brought 33% of the Petrified Forest back to life during the drought of 1988. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Nobody knows for sure if the stories about him will ever really come to an end due to the fact that so many amazing things happen every day in his world. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His most memorable Saint Patrick’s Day was back in 1984 when he delivered a load of clover hay to a ranch in Shamrock Texas with his buddy Mr. Green Jeans. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He did a little tweaking to a yield monitor off his old combine then installed it on the engine air intake tube so he can monitor important things like dust particles per hour in the air filter. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once drove all the way to a fancy resort in Southern California for a Tractor meeting but when he could not get served a Grain Belt beer he drove all the way home only stopping for fuel. Another time he traveled to Alberta Canada and could not get served a Grain Belt but settled for a Molson Canadian and some Tim Horton Donuts. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he goes gambling just for good luck he sports a Guy Fieri hairdo with a Geraldo Rivera mustache along with a pair of denim overalls and Velcro tennis shoes. If it’s a bit cool out he may even wear a light gray Members Only jacket. This works well in his favor as they don’t take him serious enough to know he has the ability to count cards. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His IPod playlists are so good that when he travels by airplane he is often asked to hook up to the planes PA system so all can listen. In 2004 on a flight to Australia he played several Jason Aldean songs that had not even been written or recorded yet. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Animal trainers worldwide are amazed how he can get Cattle, Hogs, Chickens and Turkeys to obey voice commands like Sit, Rollover and Don’t Shit There. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He was recently invited to travel the Middle East area to give a seminar on Agriculture. For safety reasons he was told he had to take on a somewhat Islamic appearance, so he grew a nasty Duck Dynasty Beard and went by the name "Bin Far Min". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Like many folks he too has studied abroad. In fact he has studied several broads, especially the good looking ones and claims to have even figured a few of them out. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His snow plow is equipped with a robotic welder that is continuously welding on a new cutting edge to build it back up as it grinds away at the black top under the snow. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

They say his boots can leave quite an impression into a concrete floor. Others claim he leaves an even bigger impression if you get a head nod from him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He will no longer buy a new combine with factory grain bin extensions. He builds his own that extend out over the cab roof of the combine. He decided this was best as some of the guys that work for him seem to have a fascination with how much corn they can spill over the grain tank and get on top of the cab. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Always looking for ways to cut costs on spray materials he discovered years ago he could kill off head scab in wheat by spraying a mixture of water and Head & Shoulders shampoo at a rate of 2oz shampoo per 100 gallons of water. This explains why all the local stores are sold out of shampoo in the late spring not to mention he has some of the best smelling fields. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He used to have a guy working for him that would actually trim designs in his hair and beard that used to match the contours of some of his favorite fields. This particular fellow enjoyed doing tillage work and went by the name B.A. Baracus short for Big Acres Baracus and they sometimes called him Mister T which was short for Mister Tillage. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

As the old saying goes, if it rains on Easter Sunday it will rain the next seven Sundays. He has successfully negotiated with Mother Nature to postpone them seven Sundays of rain until July and August when his crop need it most. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Due to Political Correctness he no longer calls his annual Easter celebration a “Colored Easter Egg Hunt” but renamed it to “Painted Spring Cage Free Sources of Protein Finding”. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is thought to hold the world’s record for the biggest collection of seed plates for White Corn Planters. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although he is no politician he is thought to have more foreign policy experience then our current Political leaders after finishing up the 2012 corn harvest with a Russian combine that was purchased from a Canadian company and equipped with an Italian corn head, a Swedish straw chopper and a rear axle with patents from Germany, France & Belgium all while wearing clothing that was knitted together from places like Vietnam and Bangladesh while eating Chinese takeout. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Like many folks he too may take some winter trips down south to enjoy some warmer weather. Actually several times each winter he can be seen leaving frigid North Dakota on a trip to the milder South Dakota climate to enjoy some snowmobiling and has even occasionally went even farther into the deep south to Louisville Kentucky in February to attend the National Farm Machinery Show. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He proved the theory that it is physically possible for one man on a hot summer day to consume a 24 pack while driving a car from Perryton Texas to the Amarillo Texas airport. Oh I almost forgot to mention a 24 pack of Aquafina Water that is. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Twice a year he will Host an AA meeting at his farm. He feels it is very important to meet with others to discuss the good, bad and ugly of using Anhydrous Ammonia versus 28% Nitrogen while side dressing corn. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Like many folks who work long hours he to can develop bags under his eyes, Especially during Spring Planting and Fall Harvest. However for him in the Spring it would be bags of seed corn and in the Fall it would be bags of money! He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Just what makes his tractors so damn sexy anyhow? The answer is quite simple. They Work Out! He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

On several occasions he has successfully given his own attorney legal Counsel. In 2009 he had no choice but to add the Supreme Court to his Do Not Call List and told them they would have to make decisions on their own. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he is done hauling manure he will power wash off his manure spreaders, Then hand wash and wax them, Armor All the tires and back them in a climate controlled garage then block the wheels off the ground. Amsoil even makes a special blend of manure spreader gearbox oil just for him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He planted the fields of corn seen in that movie Children of the Corn. He also said those little bastards ran like hell when he rolled through town with his equipment. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He bought a heavy duty Rhino mower that is capable of mowing down and chopping up acres of thick forest. Many bystanders claim as the trees are getting shredded up they can hear that Megadeath song Symphony of Destruction playing in the background. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

They say when he is heading off to the field in a tractor he has a look on his face and a style similar to that of Ben Hur in a chariot race. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One day while tilling up a harvested corn field near the small town of Kappa Illinois he was having some trouble with one of those Landoll VT discs penetrating the ground due to the thick disc blade having a worn off cutting edge. He was near this building called the Kappa Kabana and stopped the tractor and walked in to get a Pepsi throwback. Two young girls that were hardly wearing anything approached him and asked if they could grind on him. He thought for a moment before saying yes follow me. They walked across the parking lot and into the field. He handed them each a cordless Dewalt bench grinder and some safety glasses and the 3 of them began to grind a new cutting edge on all the disc blades. 2 hours later he handed them each a $100.00 bill and told them to go buy some clothes. That’s his story and he’s sticking to it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

For obvious reasons He considers Facebook, Youtube and his sense of humor part of his tool collection. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

While most BBQ places like to talk about their slow cooked meat and how it adds to the flavor he has successfully done just the opposite. He designed a BBQ spit that hooks up to the PTO of a tractor and after cooking a hog or beef on high speed he says the meat comes in two flavors, 540 or 1000. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His computer has a version of Microsoft Word that recognizes and understands farm lingo. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When out working ground he generally works the field in a back and forth side by side fashion. However on rare occasions he has been seen tilling the ground in lands turning only to the right. Rumor at the local coffee shop is he only turns to the right because he is a Right Wing Conservative, Others claim it’s because one of his many CB handles is Mister Right and some even think it’s because the radio is playing that Flo Rida song “Right Round”. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One evening while on the internet he was viewing the Farm & Garden section on Craigslist and he accidently clicked on Casual Encounters. Although somewhat amused by the adds people posted looking for intimacy he could not understand the term in most of the ads as being “420 friendly”. All that was going through his mind at the time is why people who were looking for a one night stand were friendly about a New Holland 420 hay baler? He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has broke up several fights between others over things like Ford versus Chevy, Pabst Blue Ribbon versus Busch light but the worst ever was at a tractor pull when two women who were drunked up on some Keystone light got into an argument over John Deere versus International Harvester. Things quickly turned for the worse when he told them that the tractors they were arguing over were really not even a John Deere or International other then the green and red paint. He quickly found himself knocked to the ground and being smothered by a woman with an ass that was two axe handles wide. After regaining consciousness he described the incident similar to a time he was charged by a large holstien bull at a livestock auction. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he wants to get a real education on things he just goes and sits in the professional drivers section at a Pilot truck stop. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Often his memories will drift back to his early years on the farm while growing up- the aromas that impressed him the most, 1- The smell of fresh cut hay with the dew on it at night, 2- The smell of fresh turned earth by the plow, but none compare to his springtime trip to the local International Harvester Dealer to get his fleet maintenance parts where the combination of newly painted equipment in the show room, new implement rubber tires and the fresh shipment of baler twine combined to create the best aroma of all! He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although he would never recommend it to others when he is feeling a bit sluggish and rusty he does a double shot of a Sea Foam/WD45 mixture. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he doesn’t shave for several days his whiskers grow in very uniform and full as they glisten as the sunshine hits his face. In fact several folks claim his whiskers remind them of an irrigated alfalfa field on the North side of Garden City Kansas, Even folks who have never been anywhere near Garden City agree. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Every year just before spring planting season he not only checks out his equipment to get the crop in the ground, he also goes in for his yearly Physical to make sure the spring planting season is ready for him.. The Doctor's Nurse Practitioner does the work. She is a farmer’s daughter who drives her Dad's antique tractors in the local parades and is first on the list for them when he's ready to pass them on. They talk about proper fertilization of crops such as corn, beans and alfalfa, also how important lime is as well to optimize yields. They also discuss livestock health and nutrition needs to get the maximum weight gains, milk and egg production. They will even go as far as doing soil and feed analysis for him. When his results come back from his physical- the Doctors can't believe what they see- lowest blood pressure, heart rate, cholesterol, glucose and BMI. They also claim his heartbeat beats the tune of that John Denver song “Thank God I’m a Country Boy” They give him an "Excellent with Distinction" rating. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He owns a 1991 Versatile 1156 tractor that is putting out just over 1156 Horsepower on the Dyno. He refers to it as the Alpha Male of his tractor fleet. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn’t often go to the big city but if he must he much prefers Cedar Rapids Iowa for the Multigrain aroma that lingers across the city. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He was once bluntly told to leave a Golden Corral all you can eat restaurant. Nobody knows for sure what really happened that cold winter day after he cut firewood for 10 straight hours other then all hell broke loose in the restaurant when he made his 19th trip to the buffet line. He told the manager he would not have made so many trips had the plates had sideboards on them. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In the spring of the year to really get in the mood to plant corn and soybeans he starts the day listening to that Robert Plant song “In the Mood”. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His new Cowboy Boots come complete with a working 3 point hitch with a category 4 quick hitch. This way he can quickly hook up to his spurs. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In the spring of the year the buzz at the local coffee shop is about when to start planting corn. Some say its Ohio State's recommendation of April 21st, some say Michigan State's May 10th, and some say Cornell University's May 15th. There is even a Farmer who says when the water temperature of Lake Erie reaches 50 degrees. He shuns all of this. He has a Hickory Tree outside of his kitchen window that has a family of squirrels that live in it, he knows when the leaves of the Hickory Tree are the size of the squirrel’s ear it's time to plant. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can fluently speak Waas, Glonass and RTK even in sign language. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

With all the restaurants featuring flat bread sandwiches these days he remembers his first flat bread back in 1977 when he was in the field eating a sandwich while driving a tractor with no cab and pulling a Brillion Pulvi-mulcher. He hit a rock, dropped his sandwich and packed it into the soil flattening out the bread. He was not sold on the whole flat bread thing as he said it had a soil taste to it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Years ago after pulling out a stuck combine he had broke several log chains. Shortly after this inspired Don Maynard Dokken to write and record the hit song “Breaking the Chains”. Don also asked to use his Big Bud 525/50 Tractor for his stage at the 1988 Monsters of Rock Tour. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He maintains his farmers tan year around. In fact early baby pictures of him reveal he may have even had those perfect tan lines the day he was born. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Years ago when Krause came out with the centerfold disc he bought one. It looked so good hooked to his tractor that the disc and tractor was actually featured in the centerfold of Playboy magazine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although he is far from being politically correct he considers words like “Power Hop” & “Soil Compaction” cuss words and with good farmland going for over $14,000 an acre he considers the phrase “Dirt Poor” rather offensive. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

They say all the great ones leave their mark. His mark would just happen to be the most perfectly straight rows of corn on the planet or a puddle of hydraulic oil. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Of course he enjoys the finer things in life. That’s why he farms. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In his world he actually takes time on Mothers Day to thank Mother Nature for giving him what he needs to grow excellent crops to make a good living. He admits at times she can make it challenging but in the end always comes through and the challenges make him better at what he does. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has been known to clear out an entire wooded area and add a drainage ditch using only a few bags of urea, a few gallons of diesel fuel and a lit cigar. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His new German built Claas Jaguar 980 forage harvester has a unique feature on it when sharpening the cutter head knives. Just as the automatic process begins the monitor in the cab says, please enjoy the music while you wait then it plays that Rammstein song – Du Hast. As the 3.54 minute song ends the knives are perfectly sharpened with a heel clearance of 1/16th and the shear bar is adjusted with a slight tick that about matches the drum beat of the song. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

People on commercial airlines that know nothing about farming, tractors or guidance systems claim they can look down and see where he set his A – B lines 30,000 feet below. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He does not see the need in having that thing called Twitter. For one he understands it about as good as he understands Duck Dynasty and two he already has plenty of followers everytime he drives a big tractor or combine down a busy highway. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

All the hours of work that a farmer goes through to get a crop in the ground in the spring of the year often leave many looking as rugged as a Whitetail Buck at the end of the Rut or Lindsay Lohan getting out of jail. He works as many or more hours as the rest of them but he never looks worn down and is always smiling and just full of energy. This is all because he eats a well balanced breakfast every morning and has always eaten several serving of vegetables everyday including Lima beans and Brussels sprouts. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

After hearing news reports saying how hydraulic fracking was causing earthquakes in the Eastern Ohio region he had to come clean about a heavy duty inline deep ripper he built called “The Great Gatsby” that has a shank trip force of several million lbs and capable of a working depth of 18 feet. He was ripping a badly compacted field near Greenford Ohio on Green Beaver Road to be exact when three of the ripper shanks hooked the buried skeletal remains of a Wooly Mammoth that caused tremors high up on that thing I think they call the “Ripper Scale”. After confessing no charges were filed and many were amazed he could pull this tillage tool with a slightly modified Oliver Super 88 tractor. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

They say he has a sense that when he hears a tractor roaring across the prairie he is able to tell things like how much horsepower, boost pressure and how many gallons of fuel per hour are being burned. He can even determine how many dirt particles are in the air filter and what the engine oil pressure and coolant temperature is. Many folks are certain he may be some sort of a Tractor Whisperer. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

While many folks waste countless hours on which bed is best for them he is only concerned about preparing the perfect seedbed in his fields. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Several of his friends were trying to talk him into this new social media thing called Instagram. Although he thought the whole Women Crush Wednesday thing was pretty cool he later said he would not download the app until they have things like Milking Cows Monday, Tractor Driving Tuesday, Wheat Harvest Wednesday, Throwing Hay Bales Thursday, Farmer Tan Friday, Silo Filling Saturday and Soybean Planting Sunday. #Farm Equipment #Grain #Fields #Livestock #Barns #Planting #Harvest #Soil. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

It is said that in back in the late 1960’s he set a track record at the Indianapolis 500 with a Ford 901 tractor with a Select-O-Speed transmission. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

While many women share some good kitchen recipes on Facebook he does take the time to read them and even try a few of them out. However just for the Farmer Dudes he takes time to share a few of his recipes such as best fertilizer and spray recipes for crops. He may even share a few of best beef cattle and dairy feed recipes for maximum weight and milk production gains. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Not many people know this but the first version of that Coolio – Fantastic Voyage video actually showed hundreds of people coming out of the engine compartment of his Gleaner combine instead of that low rider convertible. This version was later scrapped because in the background the door was open on his shop and a Miranda Lambert poster on the wall was visible. Many just didn’t feel Coolio and Miranda would be good in the same video. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One spring as he was finishing up planting he was heading home one evening in his tractor & pulling a large planter and nurse wagon to the home farm as he encountered a sobriety check point. Now he had not had much sleep the last six weeks and his eyes were just a little bloodshot. As he drove his 16 foot wide rig through the cones he encountered a local town cop that asked him to step out of the vehicle. He was asked to take a field sobriety test which he told the officer he couldn’t as he was not currently in the field but would be happy to take a pavement sobriety test instead. He impressed the locals as he backed his rig up into a parking lot and agreed to a blood test. The results came back that he was clean but they were somewhat baffled as they say his blood had traces of 28% nitrogen, hydraulic oil, diesel fuel and water from the Ogallala Aquifer. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He actually enjoys reading Facebook statuses such as – I just worked 8 hours today and still found time to wash my car, or I pulled a hamstring on my morning run and still managed Zumba class, or I did 6 loads of laundry, ran the sweeper, dusted the living room, paid some bills, watched my 4 year old and had time to bake a Crème De Lece cheesecake. However he still struggles trying to figure out when people post “It’s been a long day” as he would like to experience this so called long day so he could get more work done. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He converted one of his Knight Manure spreaders into a seed tender and he loves the way it works. He just can’t decide whether to name it “Tender is the Knight” or “Love Me Tender”. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Like many farmers he too may carry a snack in the tractor cab with him. His snack of choice especially during the spring planting season is peanuts or sunflower seeds by none other than "Planters". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

So the John Deere guys claim they bleed green. He knows they are completely full of it but he does accidently injure/cut himself a few times a year just to show people that he truly does bleed Versatile Tractor Red. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once picked up an additional 1800 acres of farm ground in Kentucky complete with some wetlands and sink holes just to test the durability of a new tractor and 24 row corn planter. Because of this he was able to officially change the Getting Lucky in Kentucky phrase over to Getting Stuck in Kentucky. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He feared the day would come when abnormally large soybean seeds would be all that’s available. In fact he even had nightmares about it as a toddler. To prepare he punched out some seed plates back in junior high when he was forced to take a home economics class using various pots and pans. Now in the spring of 2013 when most farmers are having trouble getting the right seed population because of the seed size he found this box of 30 year old plates that nearly got him expelled and installed them on his planter. While all the other farmers are working on their planters he is just planting away with no issues. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He does not see the point in playing some game called angry birds. He gets his fill watching Killdeers trying to fight off his tractors in the spring as he rolls across the fields. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He came across his own version of Shake & Bake Chicken when he was butchering some chickens and accidently dropped some into a pail of chicken feed. The way the soybean based feed coated the chicken meat seemed so right and after baking it up even vegetarians agreed it was the best meat serving they ever had. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

With June being dairy month and all he will take an individual picture of his top 30 milk cows and post them as his profile picture for each day of the month. He also found his top producers are the most photogenic. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Just for him McDonalds serves him up a McFarmer meal. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He also runs a Bed and Breakfast at his place. Several guests say it is a one of a kind and possibly offers the best breakfast and best night’s sleep they ever had. See what makes it so unique is no breakfast is served until all the cows are milked and all the livestock is fed. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has a Holstein Cow on his Dairy Farm that has several patterns on her as Holsteins are known to have. On her head she has the outline of the state of Ohio, on her left shoulder the outline of Michigan, on her left flank the outline of Wisconsin, left rear rump Minnesota. Right rear rump Iowa, right flank is Illinois and Missouri, front shoulder is Kentucky. Also near her udder she has a pattern that looks like a gallon milk jug. She won the "Top All State Producer Award" at the Indianapolis State Fair. He first named her American Beauty but later changed her name to American Bovine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He rarely gets sick due to the fact that several weeks every year and can be found harvesting wheat in exotic places like Medicine Lodge Kansas & Medicine Hat Alberta Canada. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he is driving his farm machinery down the road he is used to people honking the horn at him and flipping him off. He doesn’t let any of this bother him but he did mount some exterior speakers outside the tractor and cranks up that Five Finger Death Punch song Under & Over. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has zero tolerance for any unsafe work habits on his farm. However one time a fine gentleman came out to work on one of his tractors and ended up in the emergency room with a chunk of his finger missing. Now rumors where going around that somebody did something unsafe or even stupid. Well that was not the case at all. While the man was working away on the tractor an American Bald Eagle swooped down and picked up a medium sized snapping turtle that was making its way across the field. The eagle flew upward and dropped the turtle hoping it would hit the tractor weights and break open so the eagle could have it for dinner. The tractor technician seen the turtle falling from the sky and in an effort to save the turtle he took off running and got tripped up on a old Indian artifact that was laying in the field and as he caught the turtle it bit off the end of his finger. 3 hours later the technician returned to the field and they talked about the time they wrote the lyrics to that Joe Diffie Song – Third Rock from the Sun. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he was a youngster in school he would always take a good supply of farm equipment brochures in his backpack to look at and read during study hall. What used to baffle other students was he rarely caused any trouble but once a week during study hall he would get called down to the principal’s office. What his fellow students didn’t know was the principal liked to look at his stash and they would just talk farming. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Due to all the farm and ranch land he has purchased in his lifetime he must be very careful when going out for buffalo wings not to ask for a side of ranch or he will have 10 realtors show up at his table to sell him another ranch in Texas. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He was getting a lot of threats from animal rights activists for shooting groundhogs that were eating up his soybean fields and digging up his alfalfa fields. So just to be a good sport about it he saddled up his Horse named Charlie and rode his fields lassoing up the ole woodchucks and carefully relocating them to the homes of these activists. Several days later after the rodents ate up the activists vegetable gardens and dug holes in their yards he will get calls from them asking which varmint rifle he recommends. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Not only do the windmills on his Iowa farm send electricity to the Eastern United States they have slowly but steadily been sending some good ole country hospitality that could possibly destroy the liberal mentality that is ruining this great nation. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He will talk about a lot of things and even share some important secrets to help other farmers. However he will under no circumstances talk about his refuge corn. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he gets amongst Urban Folks he doesn’t always know the proper slang. He heard some people talking about something called a manicure and thought it meant having the ability to cure middle age men from wearing earrings, Hollister shirts and sea shell necklaces. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

After posing in Playgirl magazine with nothing on but a pumpkin sitting in front of his junk, a survey was done where women worldwide not only considered the farmers tan sexy but quite fashionable. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has successfully trained regular old farm dogs to win big at the race track just by telling them they are chasing off a coyote instead of that fake rabbit. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Even he is smart enough to realize that nothing lasts forever. Although he said the spring planting season of 2013 is starting to seem like forever. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He knows a lot of things about farming in the Mississippi Delta region. But the one thing he really preaches to others that farm in this region is the importance of wearing a good quality work boot. A good work boot is a must for obvious reasons but one also needs it just in case they make a trip to the Wal-Mart in Clarksdale or Greenville Mississippi to protect their feet from the busted Malt Liquor bottles and Chicken bones that litter the parking lot. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he is working in his fields in Ottawa Illinois behind this establishment called the Silver Slipper Saloon it is a known fact that the girls that work there don’t wear the normal cheap perfume and glitter but convert to spraying themselves down with diesel fuel and seed talc in hopes he will come in and tip them. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

There are many amazing things that have happened in his Iowa corn fields that will always be a closely guarded secret that only He, The Good Lord and Herky the Hawk know about. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he goes out on the town he can successfully approach women and call them a Cow or a Heifer and they will take it as a compliment. Several of his friends have tried this but usually end up getting slapped. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He thinks back to a former lifetime when he taught the Aztec people how to successfully grow corn and how he lectured them that if they didn’t take him serious about crop rotation they would one day become nonexistent. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is well known for using the latest and greatest technology on his farm but he still has some old school tactics he will use on occasion. For instance he will still use scarecrows in some of his fields but he must be very careful not to make them too scary. He once made up one that many folks had mistaken for being Janet Napolitano and it was so scary that it drastically affected the plant growth in that field. He is . . . the world’s most interesting farmer.

He lists the local veterinarian of his cattle herd as his family doctor. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He hears other farmers say they can do things a certain way because it’s not like that certain way of farming is written in stone. However folks that have been lucky enough to tour his farm often find many farming techniques actually written in stone all over the farm. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In his world the term BFF is a person that has “Been Farming Forever”. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He sometimes builds new waterways and terraces in a field of his just to prove the fact that it does far more to save the environment then a liberal hippy from the State of Washington flying to Eastern Ohio to protest against hydraulic fracking. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can easily drop 15 lbs of bodyweight in 10 days in the summertime on a diet of nothing more than chicken wings, Reeses cups and sweet tea. He even wrote a book on this diet. The book was later pulled from some book stores cause most people only read the part of eating numerous portions of wings and guzzling huge amounts of sweet tea and missed the next chapter that to achieve the weight loss it required stacking several thousand bales of hay a week. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He cash rents some farm ground that is owned by Willie Nelson. However after the first year he learned not to grow silage corn on these farms. When he harvested the silage in these fields he noticed a green leafy plant in these corn fields and Willie talking some crazy stuff about missing Mary Jane. To make matters worse once he fed this silage to his cattle herd the animals were listening to Pink Floyd and craving Taco Bell. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is very happy with the benefits of running a draper head on his combine not only because of the way it evenly feeds the crop into the feeder house but he said it also has health benefits. When he is sitting idle in the field waiting on grain trucks he will fire up the header belts on high speed and use it as a tread mill. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He seems to have a lot of Canadian friends but he rarely ever gets to hang out with them on Canada Day because he is somewhere in the Midwest harvesting wheat. However he does do his part to make his northern friends happy and listens to a solid 24 hours of Nickleback on this special day as he is operating a combine. It’s a well known fact that he likes this Canadian rock band just as much as they do but he is not expected to catch “Bieber Fever” anytime soon. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

People still talk about the 4th of July when he was mowing the county roadside ditches and hit a high pressure natural gas line just as an old Chevy Astro van with missing hubcaps was going by on its way to Wal Mart and one of the white trash occupants flicked a cigarette butt out the window igniting the gas. The flames could be seen for miles and many say it was the best show ever. He quickly went back to his shop and got his service truck and welder and although a somewhat dangerous maneuver welded this back up without shutting off the gas. No charges were filed as authorities considered the fact that he mows most of the county ditches a form of Community Service and the folks that tossed the cigarette had spent all their money on Budweiser, Newport’s, Tattoos and Big Roy dog food. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is often asked to teach farm safety to the country youngsters. It is not his intent to scare anybody but after he speaks of several of the dangers on the farm the students leave the class with their eyes bulged out like a haltered steer at the county fair and they are shaking like a goat at a West Virginia stag party. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is often invited to family reunions by people he is not even related to. He is just asked to bring his PTO driven BBQ pit, a butchered hog and some Grain Belt Beer. The women claim his farming stories turn them on. He rarely goes to these unless he sees an opportunity to pick up some more farm ground .He also does not like the awkwardness of getting a lap dance by women that claim they our related to him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He was told about a new TV show about a sow named Honey Boo Boo. After watching the show he said it was the worst hog farrowing operation he has ever seen. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Jimmy Hoffa is alive and well and is his grain cart operator at harvest time. He even pays him cash under the table. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He inherited a 1970 model Cadillac from an uncle that had passed away. He really had no use for this car but felt guilty about selling it off. He thought about giving it to charity but then mysteriously thought of a way to use the fine automobile on the farm. He took a saw and cut the roof off of the car and had his first ever convertible. He would then drive this fine ride out into the cow pasture and his 2200 lb bull would jump in the car and he would haul it off to another herd of cows that needed bred. He said this saved time hooking up the cattle trailer and on the way to the next farm the bull could tell him all the drama amongst the cows. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn’t often smoke cigars but when he does his lighter of choice is the acetylene cutting torch in his farm shop. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

It is a well known fact in the Midwest that he can accurately calibrate his corn planter and tractor guidance system in the shop without a valid GPS signal. However every spring he still likes to take it out in the small 240 acre field by his house just to be sure. He does not like any passerby’s to see this so he will often fake or put up some kind of a distraction at the home farm to get motorists attention. In the early spring of 2013 he faked a bad well at his house and actually hired a well digging company to drill a second well just so people would not see him stopping his planter in the field to check seed spacing. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he goes into a restaurant to eat he takes a row shut off clutch from his corn planter. He can use this to shut off people’s cell phones that insist on talking loudly enough that the whole establishment has to suffer hearing about their bad day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he was youngster in grade school his fellow classmates were busy making paper airplanes. He did not waste his time with such foolishness and instead made a paper combine. Although small in size it was still capable of shelling 1800 BPH with a 3 row head. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has farmer friends around the country who have real names such as Dusty Fields, Tex Rancher, Cye Liege, Colonel Corn, Phil N.Silo, Alice Chalmers, I.B. Growen, Angus Farmer, Macon Hay and Urban Less. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One day while eating in the bar area of a Texas Roadhouse he was approached by two very pretty young ladies asking him something about a 3 way. He said 3 way or 5 way it don’t matter to me and walked out to his truck for a minute. When he walked back in the restaurant the girls had big smiles on their faces and eyes were a sparkling. They then had a somewhat confused/disappointed look when he handed the young ladies a 3 way and a 5 way electrical adapter and told them there’s more where that come from. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn’t always go out for chicken wings but when he does he don’t mind if he finds a feather or two that wasn’t plucked. He says the stem of the feathers make good toothpicks for after the meal. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

During corn harvest season he refers to his Combine, Tractor & Grain Cart as the Three Husketeer’s. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The IRS allows him to use The Sun and Earthworms as a Tax deduction. He is . . . the world’s most interesting farmer.

He once had a Garage Sale and sold the entire garage for 4 times the amount it cost to build it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When Siri doesn’t know where places are across small town America she calls him. He has even taught her useful things like using her voice to call in a herd of cattle or command a team of horses and where all the good breakfast places are in rural towns throughout the Midwest. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His ability to exercise farm safety results in burning 7200 calories a day and all without breaking a sweat. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He does not have to ask the real Joe Diffie to please stand up. In fact he can do some sort of dance called “The Diffie” with a loader tractor and seven bottom rollover plow. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has zero issues with Cattle Rustlers on his ranchland because if found guilty it is still perfectly legal to hang them in his county. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has a manure lagoon pump that when backed into the manure pit a hydraulic controlled arm folds up in the air displaying a Diver Down flag. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once built a 72,000 gallon liquid manure tanker complete with suspended & steerable axles and capable of a spread pattern up to 350 feet wide. In fact it was so well balanced he could even pull it with a Minneapolis Moline U302 tractor. On the first load he filled it up with dairy slurry and headed to the field. When he started the PTO nothing came out the back. At first he thought the new spreader may have been constipated so he sneaked around to the back of the spreader and shouted “BOO”. Well he literally scared the shit out of the spreader and had the manure flowing smoothly out the discharge tubes. He then discovered a basketball got stuck inside the discharge tube. After investigating he found out his kids were playing basketball when the ball bounced into the dairy barn and the cows started playing with the ball and the bull head butted the ball which in turn bounced off the barn wall to the silo and right into the new manure spreader as he was filling it. This story is 100% true and that’s no bullshit. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His Guidance Counselor in school was from The Outback and had a Raven Tattoo. He used to call him Mister Trimble and looked up to him as an Ag Leader. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Like many folks that are professionals in their field he too is guilty of using performance enhancing substances. However the substances he uses are perfectly legal such as octane or cetane boosters used to enhance engine performance in his farm equipment lineup. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Junk Food to him is the corn cobs and stems he has to shovel out of the feed bunk. In other words it’s the stuff the cattle herd won’t eat. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The only thing that scares him on Halloween is a wet fall and he is only half done with harvest on October 31st. However one Halloween he volunteered his time at the local haunted corn maze. He started telling stories about the Dust Bowl days when he was a small child living on the Oklahoma Panhandle. He soon had the crowd shaking like a dog shitting razor blades. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Working on the farm requires paying attention and being aware of your surroundings at all times. When he has a farmhand get out of line he sends them to Churchill Manitoba Canada on Halloween in a Polar Bear costume for trick or treat. This usually whips them back into shape of their surroundings in no time. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Like many farmers he too has names for most of his tractors. He even has a nicely painted up orange Allis Chalmers D21 tractor named Ginger he uses only to plow his garden. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One day while hauling a tanker full of hog manure down a busy highway a speeding motorist who was yacking on a cell phone hit the back of the spreader bursting the tank and spilling 10,000 gallons of hog honey all over the road. While the mess was being cleaned up he was contacted by the local news to describe the ugly mess. He told the reporter it looked something like what a pair of underwear might look like after drinking a 24 of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer and eating a meal at a Waffle House restaurant. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His seed corn operation is top notch. He no longer runs a Male Row Destroyer in the fields after he discovered hanging a poster of Chaz Bono and Lady Gaga at the end of the field will effectively take out all the male rows. He also had zero coon, deer and bird damage in the field after he hung the posters. However come harvest time he had to remove the posters or some of the truck drivers would fly past the field as they were afraid to stop. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has written many letters to Tractorhouse about some of his dirty experiences on the farm. With auto guidance he has to have something to do on those mile long fields. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn’t play foolish games like Rock Paper Scissors. But he does play Corn, Soybeans and Wheat. He says it’s a great 3 year crop rotation in most of his fields. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When asked just how many hours he works every week the standard answer is 3 hours. That’s how much time a week he spends doing the accounting and required book work of his farm. He considers the other 80 plus hours he puts in recreation and leisure time. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Years ago he was one of the first farmers to install a MacDon draper head on his combine for soybean harvest. Not only did it do a great job cutting soybeans but it also had a way of attracting women. Shortly after MacDon made a special edition version for him called the MacDon Juan draper head. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

It’s a known fact he enjoys farming the Big Sky Country of Montana but he once turned down an opportunity to purchase a large tract of land in the Big Sandy and Havre area. When people asked him why he simply told them “I don’t want her you can Havre she’s too Big & Sandy for me.” He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

A very attractive woman once said to him that she wanted to see him in nothing but his birthday suit. He thought about it for a minute and since his birthday is in the dead of winter and he would usually be out working cattle he put on his thermal underwear, jeans and a heavy shirt along with all his heavy duty Carhartt gear topped off with a stocking hat and insulated work boots. Judging by her facial expression he said this must not have been what she meant by birthday suit. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He refers to all models of Case IH combines as Old Binder Machines. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

A replica of his farm was made in 1/64th scale for the 2009 National Farm Toy Show. However the city of Dyersville Iowa was not big enough for the display even at that small of scale. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Despite his Strong Christian faith, Islamists worldwide consider him the Sheik of the North American Heartland. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His Doomsday Prepping plans include an escape tunnel wide enough to drive a large tractor out with a 36 row planter folded out in the field position and tall enough to drive out a Class 9 combine with the bin extensions folded up. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Because so many of his crops and animal byproducts are used in makeup Mary Kay had a large North American combine manufacturer build him a Pink Combine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He rarely gets angry and when he says thing like I’m Pissed Off or this is a Bunch of Bullshit he is just joking around. However if you ever hear him say things like “That Really Urinates Me Off” or “This Is a Bunch of Bovine Fecal Matter” you better take note cause at this point he is fuming mad about something. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He gets so aggravated seeing other farmers out combining and leaving grain in the field because they don’t take the time to properly set their machines. For this reason he came up with a way to adjust the settings on their combines while setting in his combine miles away using a Wii controller. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When it comes to farming many think he has a one track mind. That was true until rubber tracked tractors hit the marketplace now he has a 2 and 4 track mind. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He used to get somewhat confused when he would go out in public and folks would tell him they enjoy reading his posts. He just doesn’t understand what is so fascinating about reading a No Trespassing sign that he has hanging on fence posts around all his cow pastures. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He thinks Hunger Games is when they are busy in the field and the winner is the last one to shut down his combine to eat lunch. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although not a basketball player he can set a pick and roll in a corn field with his combine that any grain cart operator or NBA coach can appreciate. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He actually holds a patent on the style in which he engages the thresher and feeder house clutches on his combine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

While most small children learn to walk by hanging on to the walls or furniture he learned to walk as a toddler by crawling out to a field and grabbing the handles of a one bottom walk behind plow being pulled by a team of horses. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Many look up to him as being The Man of Steel. Not because of all his great feats of strength and farming accomplishments simply because he can crush Kryptonite stones with his bare hands then bag up the dust and sell it as some super plant food called Miracle Grow. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has been asked by County Fair Board Officials not to use his talent of guessing everybody’s body weight as he walks up and down the midways. Apparently it offends people that he walks up and tells them their weight without being paid to do so. He told the fair board officials it’s just a skill he gained from doing the livestock judging over the years. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

After a heavy spring rain he helped a newly planted field of corn emerge by running over it with a tractor and rotary hoe. Although this is a common practice amongst many farmers his method is considered a form of acupuncture. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His Thanksgiving feast brings in relatives from all over the country and has even brought in a few from Canada who want to celebrate the holiday a second time. After dinner they don’t talk about going shopping the next day but rather talk about farming. He has all his tractors hooked up to moldboard plows and after a hearty Friday morning breakfast they all head to the field plowing several thousand acres turning the ground “Black”. It’s a Black Friday tradition that even his urban relatives agree is way better then standing in line at a store at 5AM surrounded by crazed out of control people in sweat pants who continually pass gas. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has a truck mechanic named Ken Kenworthy who works on his fleet of Kenworth Semis. They say he also has an agronomist named Pete Maus. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once attended a football game between Michigan and Ohio State. While seated a loud scream was heard from above and when he looked up a very large, gap toothed drunken woman in a gray Michigan sweat suit was falling from the seats above. He was able to somewhat catch the women and save her. Seconds after a referee on the field blew his whistle and called her for unnecessary roughness. He was very thankful that the penalty was not on him for Illegal use of the hands. Later during a news interview the lady said she felt somewhat violated but in a good kind of way. He had no comment on this but credited the saving catch from all his experience handing large livestock on the farm. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he goes deer hunting in Ohio he attaches a bayonet to the end of his Remington 12 gauge shotgun just in case he would have a rare but not so uncommon encounter with a mountain lion, wolverine, or even possibly a Bengal tiger. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Ugh! Running late this morning, I slept in, drank a little too much wine last night and was late getting to the Country Club for my tee time. Not to mention the line at Starbucks when I went to get my Skinny Cinnamon Dolce Latte. On a good note they had Garden Burgers as the lunch special after my tiring round of golf. That was good after a stressful 40 hour work week. That is a status you will never, ever read from him except maybe on April fool’s Day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Only a few people know why for sure but he used to have an old barn cat named Sammy Kershaw and he wasn’t a country music singer and did not have a queen of a double wide trailer. He was however one mean old, miserable sore eyed looking feline. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

It takes a special kind of person to completely understand and truly appreciate the stories about him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His grain dryer has been known to dry down standing corn in the field within a 20 miles radius of his grain bin facility. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Years ago when he was busy putting up his outside Christmas decorations some Jehovah Witness’s stopped by the farm to have a word with him. 20 minutes later he had them converted and on their way to Frankenmuth Michigan to Bronners to load up on Christmas decorations. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One day while listening to the radio they said something about winning Corn tickets for the caller that could name all of Santa’s reindeers including spouses and offspring. After calling in and getting it correct he attended the concert and obviously had no idea what he was in for and somewhat surprised to see Corn spelled Korn. He later said the music wasn’t too bad and he had not heard the “F Word” used that much since back in 1993 when they had a combine stuck in muck ground up to the cab door. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

After making several trips to Russia he was under surveillance by the CIA between the years of 2009 – early 2012. Officials were somewhat surprised by what they learned as it had nothing to do with anything that could have hurt his homeland but involved talks and trades of 375 horsepower tractors, air seeders, self propelled sprayers and coon pelts for technology from a Russian made combine and Mosin Nagant bolt action, internal magazine fed military rifles for Coyote hunting. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

They say at the end of the farming season when all his equipment is washed, waxed and parked away for the winter he walks around his shop singing an opera version of Ozzy Osbourne’s I Don’t Wanna Stop. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

They say he has a fleet of old Crown Victoria unmarked police cars complete with the spot light on the doors. He gets these out when he is applying NH3 (Anhydrous Ammonia) to keep the Meth Heads away. He also has no trouble selling the cars off when he is done with them as he says they are pretty popular amongst the White Trash America crowd especially when the hub caps are missing. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When it comes to giving people rides in the combine he has a very strict No Rider Policy, In fact he even has a decal on the combine door that states "No Riders except Blondes, Brunettes and Gingers". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In the winter time when he is not as busy he has been known to sit in and answer phones calls live on the Doctor Laura Schlesinger show. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He puts up a Christmas tree and a Nativity in every single barn on the farm. Even in all the livestock barns. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Every Christmas Eve when he is done feeding all his cattle he will mix up a special batch of feed for Santa's Reindeer. It includes corn silage, baled alfalfa hay, grain, molasses, and is topped off with some carrots and candy corns. While the reindeer are eating this late night snack Santa will come in and wake him up. They have milk and cookies together and talk about things like grain futures and good looking women that made Santa's naughty list. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He gets hate mail from Playboy Bunnies and Penthouse Pets all because his tractors and farm background scenes have made way more centerfolds then them. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When it comes to fashion he is no expert but he does know one should never wear Mossy Oak with Real Tree and gray sweat pants should never be worn in public, in fact years ago a truck driver showed up to haul out a load of cattle and was wearing sweats and was bluntly asked to leave and not come back until he visited a Farm & Fleet store to buy himself some Rustic Wear. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once had a wise ass friend that said he wanted a hippopotamus for Christmas and like any good friend he delivered. Now it wasn’t exactly the four legged type from Sub Saharan Africa but she was a big old girl indeed. And as far as he knows they lived happily ever after. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some say it's not officially the First Day of Spring until he shaves off his beard. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He was once eating dinner in the bar area of a fancy restaurant near the Chicago Board of Trade. He overheard a group of younger men talking about grooming and manscaping. He thought they were talking about the guy that drives the tractor that pulls the groomer down the snowmobile trails in Northern Michigan. Apparently this was one of the few times in his life where he was wrong. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he was a teenager his favorite tractor was the Steiger Cougar. Some say his favorite teacher in high school was an attractive 44 year old women named Miss Steiger and he heard people refer to her as quite the Cougar. Of course he had no idea what that meant. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once took one of those computer generated surveys that tells what kind of personality you have. The results came back as "No Match Found". Apparently even a computer couldn't recognize that kind of perfection. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has a custom manure hauling business. He has several contracts hauling cow, swine and poultry manure. He doesn't mind the smell at all and finds it kind of refreshing. He recently picked up a contract to haul some human waste/sludge for the District of Columbia. He said the smell was so bad that he had to put some skunk scented air fresheners in his tractor cabs to finish the job. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has an open station Challenger MT875E tractor that he gets out in the summertime when he feels his farmers tan is fading. He uses it for small jobs like to ted and rake hay or mow waterways. His tan lines are so perfect rumors have even surfaced he uses RTK to set them. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Although he farms several thousand acres of ground he does not like to discuss exactly how many acres. He feels this is nobody’s business. When people do ask him that question they usually get one of two answers: “Your Mom” or “Thats What She Said”. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Most people have to see it to believe it but he can side dress corn using a large 4WD tractor with triples and does not run over any corn on the end rows. Even when changing anhydrous tanks in the field. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has several cows in the milking herd that are twins. He has several twin/matching tractors and several other pieces of equipment including 2 Great Plains Twin Row Planters and 2 New Holland Twin Rotor Combines. He even has Twin Brothers working for him on the farm named Dusty Fields and Muddy Fields. However they are complete opposites. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Its a known fact that many people go to Tractor Pulls not to actually watch the pull but to watch him run the blade tractor to level the track back off between runs. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is not loyal to any one brand of tools and owns and uses Snap On, Matco, Mac, Craftsman, Cornwell and SK tools on the farm. However when it comes to working on the corn planter or irrigation wells they say he can reach in his tool box blindfolded and pull out a Cornwell tool every time. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Last year he removed and reinstalled a rotor on a Gleaner Super 77 Combine without folding out the unloading auger. Several representatives from the company were stunned and he even beat the flat rate. Many years before that like before Round Up Ready Soybeans were even thought of he managed to remove a rotor from a New Holland TR95 combine while harvesting in the field and hitting a patch of weeds as the rotor screwed itself right out the front of the combine. However that is one of those things he would rather not talk about. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The ladies often refer to him as a 620 high horsepower large framed four wheel drive tractor in a world full of 35 horsepower compact tractors. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he entered college and went to his first party he seen a group of people doing something called a keg stand. He thought back to when he was a 7 year old boy and did something similar in the milk house with several of his first grade friends. Know nobody knows for sure just how much milk he consumed back on that day when he started siphoning on the bulk tank but he remembers his dad saying at supper that night that the herd was down over 500 gallons that day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One day an attractive women in a Mercedes pulled in his driveway. She was dressed in nice clothes, had lots of jewelry on, reeked of too much perfume, didn't have a hair out of place and had fingernails that looked like they could put up a fight with a grizzly bear. She followed him around the farm for several days and kept saying she was available. All the guys on the farm kept saying she was a Gold Digger. He wasn't really looking to hire anybody but it was just about time to harvest sugar beets so he thought he would offer her a job running the sugar beet harvester. It didn't take him long to see that evidently digging beets and digging gold must be two entirely different things and she was bluntly asked to leave. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

They say you cant believe anything you read on the internet. That would even be true when you read stories about him. The truth being the stories are good but they don't even come close to telling just how amazing of a farmer he really is. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

They say he cuts a pretty wide swath. It hasn't always been that way though. As a toddler he started at just a scythe width. Through the years he moved up to 10, 15, 20, 24, 30 and even 45 feet. Just recently he and a buddy from Australia designed a grain head with a swath width so wide nobody has even got an official measurement. The only thing people know for sure is they call it the furlong. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He was once waiting to board a plane at the airport and was sitting near a group of women talking about numbers like 36-26-36 and 33-27-39 and 34-26-39. He thought certainly no fertilizer plant makes a mixture of Nitrogen, Phosphate and Potash like that. So he chimed in and said he preferred 30 - 15 - 7.5 in most conditions. Judging by the look he got from those ladies they weren't talking about ideal row spacing for corn, soybeans or wheat either. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

They say one has a better chance of winning the lottery versus accurately guessing his age. His look, hair color and wrinkles can naturally change from year to year depending on crop conditions. Back in the flood of 93 some thought he was over 100 years old and this year because of his Illinois corn crop many think he is in his lower twenties. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Back in college he took an agronomy class. To this day he still talks about the good he got out of that course but he said the girls in his class really made it special because they all had dirty little minds. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He was recently challenged to some new fad called the Ice bucket challenge to raise awareness for ALS. Now he has already done plenty in his lifetime for Agriculture Land Science and although the entire thing sounded ridiculous he is not known from backing down to a challenge. Since the standard 5 gallon bucket is a thing of the past on his farm he got out his Cat 988K wheel loader and filled the 10 yard loader bucket full of ice water. His one farmhand named Buck who's CB handle is the ice man raised the loader bucket to its maximum lift height and dumped the ice water right on his boss. The water hit his cowboy hat and deflected off the brim and he never even got wet. This raised huge awareness to all the city folks that not only are cowboy hats cool looking to wear but they also protect a person from rain and sunburn to the face, neck, and shoulders. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once helped a local rural town get a problem with their electric, telephone and cable TV service fixed by simply leaving the unloading auger on his combine swung out as he turned on the end rows. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Because he is such a great farmer the band AeroSmith actually played a free concert for him in one of his harvested soybean fields near the town of Arrowsmith Illinois. When they played the song “Love in an Elevator” he was convinced it was a love song about a farm girl he met at the local grain elevator years ago. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Back in 1979 John Deere built him a 4840 Gran Fury edition tractor. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His tillage practices alone are total proof that he totally digs the Midwest. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Tough soybeans just make him that much tougher. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

On halloween 2014 he scared several farmers and all the employees at the local ethanol plant when he rolled in with a semi truck load of corn grossing 142,000 lbs and listening to the new hit song “Black Widow” by Iggy Azalea. People just weren't sure if he was kidding around or just that “Trucked Up” Shortly after leaving they say he cruised by the local pizza shop and was waited on by a girl named Boo. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has played a major role in several Chick Flicks. These flicks have helped several other farmers looking to succeed in the poultry business with the tips they learned watching "Proper Incubator settings for a Successful Chick Hatch" and "Safely De-Beaking New Born Chicks for Maximum Gains" He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In the summer time when he goes to tractor pulls he will never ever talk to other farmers that show up to these events wearing mandles AKA man sandles. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When it comes to Winter driving he is a firm believer in the 100 pounds per horsepower rule. He recently purchased a new 2015 Chevrolet Suburban and has it ballasted out at 35,500 pounds with a 45/55% split. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

They say he can jump in the combine early in the morning and go out all day picking off an entire quarter and hold a poker face the entire day and only breaking that poker face for a split second with a smile when he looks over at the yield monitor and seeing numbers over 220. His grain cart operator said he caught him smiling quite a bit this fall. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once planted a field of corn in Central Ohio as a silage corn test plot for Ohio State University. He used an experimental mixture of Cow, Swine, Chicken and Turkey manure mixed with some decomposed Red Clover Hay. The corn grew so tall that passerby's actually thought it was part of the Wayne National Forest. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he talks about his BFF people automatically know he's talking about his Beautiful Fertile Farmland. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In 1967 he bought a brand new Chevrolet El Camino SS for various jobs like hauling hay, picking up bags of hog feed from the mill and hauling bull calves to the sale barn. To this day the car only has 4,562 miles on it but the engine is thought to have over 170,000 hours. In the summer he will take it to some car shows and they say he can drive the car home and have the Big Block 396 motor out of the car and on a stand running an irrigation pump on one of his Southwest Kansas Farms in 7 minutes and 16 seconds. Car enthusiasts worldwide have been known to skip the car show and just go to his field and watch the motor pump water instead. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has won many County Fair Combine Demolition Derby's over the years using a pull type combine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He was a big supporter of the LGBT long before it was trendy. In fact he said he couldn’t hardly farm without it as Livestock, Grain, Barns, and Tractors are very important to his success. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He created a weight watchers app for farmers which helps them properly weight/ballast their tractors for different field conditions. It has also been said some women have found this app very helpful in determining the proper ratio for breast and buttock implants. However he does not recommend the 100 pounds per horsepower rule for the ladies. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has wrote several books on how to set a combine for maximum performance. Some of his most famous titles according to the NY Times where "Dude wheres my Straw Walker", "All Natural Cures for STS’s", and "50 Sieves of Grain". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is thought to be the founder of the FFA Greenhand Degree. Back when he was in FFA he was painting an older John Deere tractor in his Ag Mechanic class and while stepping around the front of the tractor he slipped on some Copenhagen spit on the floor from a girl in his class. He put his arm out to catch his fall and planted his hand on the wet paint on the front of the tractor turning his hand green. But what amazed the entire class was when he pulled his hand off the tractor his hand had left a mark of a deer leaping very similar to the logo that John Deere is currently using on their new tractors. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn’t always eat breakfast biscuits from the local gas station, but when he does he makes sure he has some seed flow lubricant to aid in getting them down. He has even found the John Deere seed talc gives the biscuit an asparagus flavor and the Kinze talc actually give them a blueberry taste. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has a live talk radio show from the cab of his tractor and combine called “Just Farming” However, in order to gain a following from the younger farm crowd he recently changed the name of his show to “Do you even Farm Bro”. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

- Mike Less



His relaxed pose puts his visitors at ease, but his boots and simple garb say, "I'm in charge". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has turned large rocks into productive soil using his own brand of C-4 explosives. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He rebuilt his favorite pickup from the ground up, using a 680hp diesel engine, all billet drivetrain components, custom rattlesnake leather interior and a paint job that won the Ridler Award in 2010. It is now his sole transportation for evenings to the theater, symphony and charity events. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is the only man considered worthy by Chuck Norris to play him in Chuck Norris: The Movie. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has a massive collection of rare agricultural machinery including Rudolf Diesel's prototype engine, the first Dain tractor, the first reaper of Cyrus McCormick and the original steel plow of John Deere. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His experience on his Montana cattle ranch led him to be the sole security guard on Slayer's 1987 "Reign In Blood" tour. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once won the Pikes Peak Challenge in a modified JD 8530 with IVT, prototype 13.5L engine and shaved pulling tires. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is the chief consultant for many major motorsports teams due to his uncanny ability to blueprint and build engines based on sight and sound alone. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He discovered a crashed P-51 on a hike through the Scottish Highlands. Restored and rebuilt in his converted barn, he went on to win 4 World Championships in the Red Bull Air Racing Series. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Anytime he works in the shop, he wears his signature white coveralls. And they always stay winter white, fresh and clean. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His farm once hosted the New York City Marathon and he subsequently invented controlled traffic farming. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Aliens have visited his farm numerous times in an attempt to learn the secrets of his crop circles. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His corn maze is impossible to solve, even from the air. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He hikes the Appalachian Trail to get into shape for his walking crop tour of the Midwest. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He won the Silver State Classic Challenge in a D5 dozer and left nary a mark on the pavement. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The National Ploughing Association had his Grand Prize winning furrow bronzed. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He threw a bachelor party for his hired man that was the envy of George Clooney, Sean Connery and even Dennis Rodman. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Through intense algorithim research, he is able to plant fields by only lowering the planter once and with zero overlap. This gives him 100% planting efficiency. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His operating loan and line of credit comes straight from the Fed. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is often urged to run for office, usually at the behest of the current office holder. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Sometimes ladies are treated to a special event at the end of a date. Of course, it helps he knows when, where and what colors the Aurora Borealis will be that evening. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He had his operation recreated in 1/128th models. To be at any larger scale would be impractical. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He installed retractable spikes in his truck tires for times when 4WD isn't quite enough. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He constructed his grain setup out of high strength acrylic, so as to keep an eye on grain flow at all points. The centerpiece is a 200' freestanding grain leg with a levitating manlift for easy servicing. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The BLM is considering turning all their grazing decisions over to him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

NASA sometimes uses his flooded rice fields to test radio telescopes across the United States. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In dry years he can water his fields by reversing his drain tile flow. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has the only K Computer outside of Japan. It is used to model weather patterns over his fields. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he throws out the first pitch at a local ball game, he makes sure the catcher is wearing ALL of his safety gear. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has no particular brand of equipment. This allows him to get in any machine and run it flawlessly. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is on the speed dial of both Jon Kinzenbaw and Vaughn Bauer. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can glance at a Rubik's Cube for a moment, turn out the lights and solve it in total darkness in under 2 minutes. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once won a game of Jeopardy by correctly answering questions like, "How many ounces of hydraulic oil can a 1982 Steiger steering ram hold?" and "What are the names of Saturn's moons in alphabetical order?"

The Research Station at the South Pole asked him to provide fresh food for them during the summer months. He used all his excess truck chrome to focus the sun on the soil in the vegetable patch, making a crop even Florida would be jealous of. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He counts Itzhak Perlman and Nolan Ryan as two of his closest friends. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His headquarters is the most searched-for address on Google Earth. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One year, after an especially long fall, he single-handedly won back to back 24 Hours of Le Mans races. One for Team Peugeot and one for Team Lexion. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His ringtones are not what you expect them to be. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Despite their modest appearance and out-of-field use, his trucks always manage to win top awards at the I-80 Truckstop show. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He turns all his scrap steel into works of art, to be sold and the proceeds given to charity. His last piece was a full size replica of the Statue of Liberty. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is in high demand this time of year, due to his whip-cracking skills during the orchestral song "Sleighride". Equally impressive is his skill cracking both left and right handed. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has been known to open his shop to Santa Claus when the reindeer need a break or if Santa needs his leather repair skills. Did you know tightly woven cornstalks can replace any kind of tack? He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He causes quite a stir when he comes to vote during the 2012 Iowa Caucus. All the major networks are there to get video of him leaving the polling place. Alas, they never do get good video of him. He just blends into the background, even when walking alone. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The end of the year gifts to landlords include his own special artisan chocolates and caramel. Made with ingredients from cacao trees and sugar cane grown in the backyard greenhouse. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The Svalbard Global Seed Vault is just a secondary bank to the main one, which is located under his potato farm in north central Idaho. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

As they wrote folktales about John Henry, they too, will someday write about him. Though, instead of driving steel spikes on the rail, it will involve leveling a mile of levee. His eye always beats any dozer with RTK. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

With spur climbers from his lumberjack days, he can tarp a 53' flatbed trailer of hay in under 3 minutes. Under 4 if the winds are over 40 MPH. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he goes shark fishing, he only brings his lasso and a hook from his towing business. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is lobbying hard to have Pluto reclassified as a planet. His plans are to terraform it with his prototype strip-till/interplant unit toolbar. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He traced his family history back 1,000 years. No surprise to him, his ancestors were at every major breakthrough. From the cultivation of sugar cane in India, the multi seed tube drill in China, the Industrial Revolution in Great Britain and synthetic fertilizer in the USA. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Whenever he is in the city, he stops by open mic night at the club. His humor is always about country life, but everyone gets the jokes due to his careful crafting of the words. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can catalog any parts warehouse with just a few index cards and his trusty Rubbermaid 18 gallon tub. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His newest shed is a nod to the old ways. All steel building with mortise and tenon connections, pegged together with all his leftover hitch pins. (His tractors have ball hitches now.) He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His truck odometer reads out to 7 digits and his tractor hour meter reads to 6 digits. (Not including the .1). He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has trained his circadian rhythm to be in sync with UTC. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His office is decorated with taxidermy from his travels around the world. Pineapple from the Phillippines, hogs from Mississippi and seaweed from the Arctic. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

All of his debate notes are written on the back of a single 3 X 5 index card. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He had a FLIR installed in his truck, that shows on the HUD. This will insure his streak of never hitting anything on the road, day or night. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is the only non-employee allowed into both Deere and CIH R & D Skunkworks buildings. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Every entrance into his house has its own mudroom and clean up area. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is able to scratch out QR codes in the dirt with his boot. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His agronomist, local coop and testing lab have confirmed he can do soil sampling by smell alone. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Once a year, the Goodyear Blimp comes to fly him above his fields for scouting. While up there, he takes the time to create a current oil painting of his home farm. If you buy enough tires, they will come and fly you around for free, too. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has tactile transducers in his couch cushions so he can fully appreciate all the YouTube farm videos he watches in the winter. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has no use for beads during Mardi Gras. The ladies are just compelled to "show off" for him as he makes his way from bar to bar. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

No one in the history of the world would ever think to ask him, "Excuse me, but are those Bugle Boy jeans you are wearing?". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Every 4 years, he spends his Leap Days giving answers to the most perplexing questions of mankind. Red or green, Dodge or Brand X, white wine with fish, when to wear spurs, how to respond to ladies, Speedo or trunks, plant more corn or soybeans during a La Nina event, etc. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He sleeps in his race car bed, with custom farm-themed sheets. Size? Iowa King, of course. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

On every equinox, he balances a different item on his kitchen counter. Last year it was an egg sunny side up. This year, he is going for a challenge. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His new grain leg doubles as the local airports windsock tower. Standard DOT issue sock, 3' by 12'. The windsock frame is held down with some 5/16" bolts leftover from a special Sperry New Holland planter he ran in 2010. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He uses a special bamboo leaf rake to level wet concrete. Then flips it over to float and smooth the surface. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has a few "muscle" tractors from the 1970's that are still under extended factory warranty. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His farm cloud has its own cloud. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

It's that time of year again, income tax and audit time. The IRS is hurriedly preparing all their necessary papers, readying for his visit. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once dug a 40' tile trench in 10 minutes. In a Case 580K 4 lever backhoe. With one arm tied behind his back. Actually, he didn't use either arm. He just wanted to know how dexterous his feet could be. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He gets nearly a million hits a day on his farming blog. However, no one but the keenest reader knows the info is from his previous years' blogs. A farmer has to have some secrets, even in this day and age. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

As is sometime the case, he must give regrets to wedding invitations. Though he will make up for it in the form of hand carved cake toppers. Made from burls cut from his backyard African Rosewood tree. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His Skywarn Spotter training started at age 4. He's been to the center of many hurricanes. Some say he can hear hail clacking around upstairs at 50K feet. He's been known to smell tornados coming from a mile away. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His new grain leg doubles as the local airport's windsock tower. Standard DOT issue sock, 3' by 12'. The windsock frame is held down with some 5/16" bolts leftover from a special Sperry New Holland planter he ran in 2010. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He had an old fashioned barn dance last week. Being such a beautiful night, he opened up the hydraulic swing door. Seeing an opportunity to really make a statement, he fashioned some railings around the edges of the door. He asked some of the beautiful ladies to dance up there for the crowd. The tin and frame never wavered an inch. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Even at night, he can tell if a piece of chrome or stainless steel has fallen off his truck. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has not had to change a shovel on his field cultivator in 3 years, thanks to his welding technique. The wire is a special twisted strand of his own concoction and a .99 opening on his gun end. He is ... the most interesting farmer in he world.

His bartending skills can be attributed to his chemical engineering background. Some of his more well known creations are The *Adjuvant, Poly-Ortho Herbicide and The Bi/T Triple Stack. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His lunch cooler has as many stamps and stickers as his passport. The TSA uses that more often to ID him than his drivers license. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

You'd think he had been voted "Most Likely to Succeed" in high school but you would be wrong. That accolade was bestowed on him at 2 days old in the hospital nursery. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Every May 1st, he decorates the Maypole. His Maypole is a 1200' radio tower. His tractors run an iTec Pro program devised by him to braid together 10 strings of colored strobe lights. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is the wizard behind "Uncle Neptune's Organic Rainwater". Apparently, the runoff from the north side of his barn has really good properties. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The US Army Corps of Engineers renamed Lock and Dam #13 in honor of him for all the business he brings there. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once won the Pillsbury Bake Off with his made from scratch brownies. Of course, made from scratch to him means grinding the wheat flour, refining his greenhouse sugar cane and roasting the cacao beans. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In the same month, his shop was featured in "Better Homes and Gardens", and his house was featured on the show "Top Shops". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is listed on the Dow, Nasdaq and the Nippon. (Ticker: WMIF) However, no stock of his is traded through any of those exchanges. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The grass is always greener on his side of the fence. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He plumbed a black fog machine into the exhaust system on his new Peterbilt to give the appearance of "rolling coal" when under heavy acceleration. This confounds the neighbors who think his trucks are not working properly. Which, of course, is never true. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He perfected Deere's LoadCommand so he could refill his sprayer while on the go. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In any given month, he always has knee high corn by that 4th day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can harvest oats and milo with an open station combine and not be miserably hot and itchy at the end of the day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is the only man to fly a prop machine with the Blue Angels. He uses a highly modified and experimentally powered P-51 Mustang. It was designed and built in conjunction with his godfather, Chuck Yeager. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The Japanese have gone crazy for his latest creation, grilled sushi. Of course, as with his steaks, if you put any extra "sauce" on the sushi, (wasabi, etc) you will be kindly asked to leave his annual SBQ. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

One 4th of July morning he was out checking that his irrigation equipment was running fine and as usual had acquired some mud on his boots and pants. He stopped by the house to re-fill his coffee mug and may have got a little bit of mud on the kitchen floor that his wife just got done mopping. He later said his wife’s reaction to the mud he got on the freshly mopped floor was the best display of fireworks he has ever seen. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He signs all important legal documents with his custom grease marker. That way, he doesn't have to switch writing instruments when he is sorting hogs and negotiating contracts. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has posted embarrassing photos of his screw ups online. However, no one believes they could be from his farm due to the lack of validity of info on the Internet. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His mailbox is on a pulley and cable system so he can retrieve the mail right from his car, tractor, combine or sugar cane harvester. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He modified his Australian road train semi to be street legal in all 50 states. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Every time he is called to jury duty, he is made the foreman. In extraordinary cases, the judge will ask him to take his place on the bench. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

This time of year (Halloween) is extra busy for him. Along with harvest, he has to get ready for the myriad of trick or treaters. This means home made fudge, caramel, lollipops and candy corn. Did you know he found a strain of maize that is exactly like the candy corn you buy in the store? He will serve about 1,200 kids. (Pretty good for living in a county of only 2,200 adults.) He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has morning coffee shop groups dedicated to his every move. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In the interest of safety, the Canadian Pacific Railroad installed lights and cross bucks on their tracks to the entrances of his fields. This was to allow his tractor, air seeder, coil packer, tow-behind tank, liquid caddy and twin 2,000 anhydrous tanks to cross safely. The train engineers look forward to being stopped because they enjoy the parade. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He bought a nearby city's old water tower. It will be used to store 28% and for refilling his sidedress units in record time. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

After participating in "Movember", he started trimming his beard off with a leftover sickle section. It still had plenty of blade left thanks to his innovative serrated whetstone. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has switched over all of his Christmas lights to run on 3 phase power. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Inspired by a trip to New England, he built a covered bridge to his property over County Ditch 30. He rents it out to those wanting a picturesque photo of their equipment. Tall enough for a folded up 65' field cultivator and wide enough to accommodate a DB120. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is the main tool box tester for Mac, SnapOn, Matco, SK, and Cornwall. He needs the space, because as they say, "He has a wrench for that". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His best memory as a kid at Christmas was, at 5 years old, he received a slide rule. He spent the next year calculating the workout needed to win the big pedal pull competition. It also helped him find the perfect placement for ballast, with regards to his strength at the time. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Stock in a certain chocolate company rose dramatically after his speech on the importance of crop residue. Seems the city folk didn't quite understand the difference in names. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The recent run-up in prices at farm auctions has been attributed to him. Bidders get distracted and wave their hands wildly when they see him walking around the lot. However, he knows where and when to get the best deal. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

With the grace and skill of a ninja operating a skid loader, he is able to cleanly slice open a bag of silage for the exact amount of feed needed for that day, using only the grapple tines on the bucket. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He knows how to play Monopoly at Christmas gatherings that doesn't leave you hating him for being a BTO. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The local restaurant had to instill a time limit to their all-you-can-eat buffet after he visited during the blizzard of '12. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Gerber custom made a special razor for him so he could shave his winter beard. They also forged a pair of scissors that he could bring along to his barber. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He really wanted an Erector Set for Christmas when he was 8. He got a lathe. Did he build his own set? No, he used the lathe to carve out a new lightweight bull barrel for .45-70 rifles. He sold the design to Marlin and now owns the Erector brand. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can make a gourmet feast from a can of kidney beans, a loaf of garlic bread and some chocolate shavings. All cooked on his trusty skid steer exhaust manifold. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Santa Claus always brings him all the leftover, unwanted board games (mostly Parcheesi). Some are re-gifted to those on his naughty list, the rest are split, ground by color and mixed with the chicken feed. This ensures he has multi-colored eggs by Easter. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The FSA aerial maps of his fields have their own wing in the Guggenheim Museum. Of special interest are the terraces in Death Valley. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

During the winter, his blood type is measured in Cold Cranking Amps. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has biometric protection on all his most important electronic gear. Shop and office door, tool chest, grain dryer settings, gun vault and of course, AM/FM radio presets. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His family's Coat of Arms includes a grease gun, crossed cobs of corn, a snowflake and the Thunderbolt symbol. He is ... the most interesting farmer on the world.

This winter, the main project in his shop is a 90' pull type row cultivator. Complete with iSteer and Swath Control for those hard-to-reach areas. You know, the 10 acre patches in oxbow lakes along the river bottom. He is ... the most interesting farmer on the world.

Every January before Spring Training, he hosts all the MLB groundskeepers with outdoor parks. They come to the farm to learn some new tricks for keeping their ball fields in tip top shape. One popular session is how to grow different shades of grass for that striped look. He is also working on perfecting a shade of white for the foul lines. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn't always find gold at the end of a rainbow, but he does manage to buy the ground it landed on. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He was so obsessed with Caster/Action™ in the early 80's that he added it to his 4WD's and his combines. He recently perfected it for anything on a tracked platform. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

As a kid, he caught bees wings on his tongue as a precursor to catching snowflakes in the winter. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

No one questions him when he takes old farm toys out of their box to play with them. That's what they are for, right? Besides, that's how he plans his fields for the coming crop year. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

To simulate his summer conditions, he fashioned a few different treadmill running belts for winter training. One with muddy gravel and potholes, one that simulates moldboard plowed soil, and one covered in fresh animal pies. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His planting intentions for 2013 are written in stone. Literally. He had his seed, chemical and fertilizer dealers sign their orders with a sharpened wheel rake finger on a piece of granite. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His Bluetooth transmits in Dolby Surround 7.1. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He appears to have just a standard 2 car attached garage on his house. Closer inspection would show that it is 2X deep as normal, and has an elevator that brings you down to the lower level. He has room for 10 cars and/or trucks. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has contacted Mammoet about helping to design his next grain hauler. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he talks about dirty things to his female mechanic, the transcript can't even be published in Penthouse Forum. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He won a huge amount of cash and prizes on "The Price is Right" by starting one of his old hit and miss engines hourly. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He won the inaugural Scheid Diesel Extravaganza in a somewhat, shall we say, warmed over Chevy Luv pickup. It didn't even have a giant stack out the hood. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Several of his neighbors have named their first born in honor of him. Names like Cyrus, Rudolf, John, Oliver, Rumely, Garst, and most popular, Hart-Parr. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

To maximize his fields potentials in tight, urban areas, his center pivot has sectional nozzle control and a steering wheel for when things are really tight. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

To more efficiently haul liquids, he has setup 3 of his 48' tankers to be run as triples. To be licensed for this, the DOT says you have pass HIS road test. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has experimented with delivering RTK correction with an old airport rotating radar tower, complete with white and green light beacon. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Instead of jelly beans in his Easter eggs, his were filled with 00 buckshot. He was quite the reloading expert by the time he was 11. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When asked about the time he used some Heavy 80 roller chain to lasso an endangered African rhino that had escaped from Siegfried and Roy's traveling carnival magic show during the late 80's while he was riding the rails to the west coast to help restructure another burgeoning RDO Deere industrial dealership, he, of course, wondered, "Was it the Pacific Northwest or the Southern Limited rail line I was riding?". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His latest "barn find" acquisition is a rare 1948 2wd Jeep. He intends to take it to Moab to see just how good those Willys engineers were. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His calligraphy is world renowned. Especially now, since he switched to his hog marking grease stick. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once showed up at a land auction with a briefcase handcuffed to his wrist. No one ever found out what was in it, some speculated it was full of bearer bonds, some thought it was the deed to his Midtown Manhattan farm. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His new idea for a seed meter is to throw the seed into the trench so hard, there is no bounce and spacing is perfect. Possible trademark names are Verlander, Strasburg and The Chapman. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The popularity of kettle korn led him to convert one of his Deere S Series combines into a large cooker. Heated by a constant regen cycle on the engine, the corn travels through the clean grain system and is deposited into the tank up top. Visitors to farm shows can climb up to the platform, grab a handful and enjoy the view of the show grounds at the same time. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Manitowoc has been known to buy his old wire rope for their cranes as his still has plenty of life after he's done using it. This is due to the proprietary braid he uses. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He makes quite a spectacle of the first day of spring planting. Neighbors have often spotted him in a tuxedo loading seed into the planter. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

You know how kids are always hauling their quad or snowmobile in the back of their pickup? He does the same thing, only with his Super Stock tractor on the back of his M35A2 surplus truck. Cruising around, just looking for a hook. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

It once rained on his farm so much, he had to resort to planting with a 24 row stacker bar mounted under a helicopter. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

After he had lost part of his finger in a planter tongue accident, he rubbed the bloody end of it in some of his "special" seed treatment mix. The same mix that he later sold to Kip Culler. After a week, the finger had regrown and he was back to his usual self. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He credits his ability to learn to his father, who, at a young age, started traveling the world in search of the next great wisdom of agriculture and imparted that wisdom to his son. (Along with social norms, the pursuit of a woman and how to make a killer martini) He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once dated a lady named June Solstice. This was a short lived affair, coming on the heels of the breakup with his longtime girlfriend, Verna Equinox. (For awhile, he had a thing for ladies with older names.) He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

This year, his corn maze is a reproduction of M. C. Escher's "Relativity". Rather than shape and clear the corn by hand, he wrote a program to allow the individual electric drives and section control on his planter to only plant seeds in the shaded areas of the lithograph. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He recently returned from AllState Peterbilt where he had some work done on his new truck. To keep his diagnostic and mechanical skills up to par, he had the Cummins Certified Master Tech cause a fault somewhere on his truck so he could find and fix it. The latest ailment? The oil rings in the #4 cylinder were taken out and installed upside down. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He sure loves how his stripper head works, but needs the straw at his dairy. With a little welding and some afternoon wrench work, he had himself a stripper head that also cut the remaining straw and windrowed it. Next up, attaching a square baler to the rear of the combine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is so used to reading CBOT commodity reports that he often refers to months by their code in everyday life. It is a bit confusing, unless you are a seasoned trader. "Today is the first day of N", he might say. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The well-to-do are always impressed when he says he lives in a gated community. Of course, it is located in a far off corner of the state and also includes a few hundred thousand head of cattle. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

In 1986, under the USDA Farm Storage Facility Program, he built a shed that would qualify as grain storage. Of course, he then had to have a new shop that looked like a round bin storage setup. One call to both Butler and Behlen, he had his new shop. Of course, it's aerated and has a false floor for cooling. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once built a 3X3 square baler that would pack bales so tight, it required a large payloader to lift them. It worked great, as it only required 2 of them to feed his dairy for the day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once won an eating contest. Though, to be fair to the other contestants, he did his eating while plowing terraces back up the hill in a track tractor. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has never tipped over an end dump trailer. Even when hauling ag lime that had setup in the front of his 39' frameless. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Before he perfected his voice commands for sorting hogs, he used the old baggage claim from Stapleton Int'l Airport in Denver. The USDA was able to adapt the the UPC codes he stamped on the hogs for COOL tracking later on. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Taking a cue from large boats, he keeps a 4-wheeler on his combine in case he needs to run off and scout the field. The combine and cart are able to keep rolling thanks to his automation project. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He's equally comfortable talking about gear or wine reductions. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is working on adapting his grain cart automation tractor to running a small square baler. This allows him to get in a nice workout (no CrossFit for him) and do some thinking about string theory as it applies to his orange groves. He has just about perfected the hand signals to the camera lasers so he can hook up to different hay wagons in the field, too. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has all the major precision ag screen makers wondering just how he overclocked their displays without them crashing all the time. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn't have a "vista" decal on the back of his pickup window, but he does have 3 1977 Dodge Tradesman vans that are often mistaken for Deere, CIH or Gleaner Harvest Support vehicles. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He contacted Terex about installing a tower crane so he could anchor his grain legs to it. Not because of breakdowns, but that he is always tweaking and improving his grain system. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His latest building site purchase was just able to hold 2 semis. So he built a parking garage large and tall enough to park 20 trucks. Everything from van trailers, to his detach with a tri axle jeep. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He can always come up with the perfect reduction, whether it's for a gearbox or when he is filling in for the chef at the local French restaurant. He is ... the most interesting farmer in he world.

His Social Security number reads more like a tractor VIN tag. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

As his sugar shack was in the Arts and Crafts movement, he had to make his new dryer shack in the same style. He needed some place nice to put the grain sampler and Tractor House magazines. So, he dusted off his remaining Stickley sideboard and chairs and put them to good use. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has a knack for fixing dozer track chain with just a socket, a punch tool and a 5 lb sledge. He had picked up a few tricks from working in a bike repair shop in his youth. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

There are those that use a truck or combine tire rim for a fire pit. Then there are those that have a Cat 797F truck rim out behind the shop. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He had been voted "most interesting" during his senior year in high school. At his high school class reunion, he was still considered that despite never having a different address than his home farm. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He had so many visitors to his corn maze this year, the local chamber of commerce asked him to start validating parking. (In order to lure more shoppers back to town) He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Using one of his old school cell phone antennas, he was able to get good enough to slice a peach that was sitting on a fence post. This brought him much adoration from his Australian farm hosts during his 1994 goodwill tour of the Outback. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The diving board in the pool at his local high school had broke. Needing something before the meet that weekend, they turned to him and his backhoe. He made a little adjustment and soon had a fine 3m platform for diving. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He accidentally invented twerking when someone, driving by his farm, observed him changing out the rotor belt in his combine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He was once diagnosed with ADHD. (All Day Harvest Disorder) The only fix he found was to get in a tractor for some tillage therapy. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

After accidentally breaking his welding shield, he had to finish the last few welds on his tile plow shank by sound. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He had his cobbler make him a pair of ANSI-approved steel-toed Crocs so he could do steel work in comfort. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He doesn't have friggatriskaidekaphobia, but does worry about people that do. They tend to screw up things even more than usual on that day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

On a special ag edition of "The Price is Right", he correctly guessed the price of ZC for '16 and subsequently had to build more bins. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once adapted a Dick's Welding hopper topper to a Deere squareback 95. However, it was just made of sheet aluminum and its only purpose was to throw off the neighbors to what he was really doing. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

At his last big birthday celebration, he had a Lexion combine bouncy house and a ball pit. The ball pit was extra special because instead of rubber balls, it was filled with spent shotgun shells. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once set a national record for hand corn picking. Though, some say it wasn't fair that he was wearing a husking peg on each hand. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

It's said his pain tolerance is so high, he got a tattoo on a fresh skin graft on his forearm. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he goes to his massage therapist, he brings along an audio recording of his dryer setup. It's much better music to him than Enya. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Everything in his new shop is wired into a CANBUS system, even the master bedroom and bathroom. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He never runs marathons, the 3 he goes through in spring, summer and fall are enough for him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He tried out a prototype trailer tarp from ShurLoc, but they decided the world wasn't quite ready for a super fast window shade-style opener. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He keeps one of his aerial drones tethered to the combine so he and his cart driver can keep an eye on filling and general combine performance. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

If you are going to work for him driving truck, you better know how to shift a 4 stick Eaton 23 spd. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

When he was a baby, his first word was "agriculture". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He uses a treadmill in his spacious cab to help him get through the long hours of the night shift. This comes in very handy during rounds in his 5 mile long fields. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has a man cave in both his house and in the basement of his new shop. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His discarded plow shares rarely go to waste. Lately, they've been seen on national TV, usually in hockey games. Zach Parise is reportedly a favored buyer of these repurposed blades. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

During muddy harvests, he likes to practice his tractor pulling skills in the 2wd division with a 4430 hooked to a Kinze 1300 on floaters. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Webster always has a few new words from him after particularly tough harvest seasons. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once developed turf toe after a summer of kicking open dirt mounds while trapping gophers. To fix that, he went back to scoping them with his BB gun at night when they were most active. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has adapted several variations of RowSense for his plow. The latest involves the feelers and a laser camera. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is the only guy allowed to tailgate in the players' parking lot before games. They usually have the best games after having his BBQ bacon and eggs. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He wanted a yellow Quad Track, but didn't want one half-assed engineered with aftermarket tracks. So, he pieced together a pivot point and joined two 875C Challengers together. With a couple of Steinbauer chips on them, he figured the setup was good for over 1800 HP. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His house at Halloween is the favorite among the locals. Not only do the kids get a scare, the farmers line up to get their chills. This year his display includes Mannheim-built Deere tractors, a DOT audit and Drago corn heads. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

As Christmas is rapidly approaching, he has stepped up his gift making in the wood shop. His woodcarvings are especially well received. The secret weapon? A used spindle from one of his cotton pickers. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Some think he is carrying a very large can of snuff in his back pocket, but in reality, it's a 4" Plasti-Plug he keeps with him in case of a drain tile emergency. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

During the winter when he really craves moving some dirt, he plows shopping center parking lots with his triple 2112E scraper setup. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

2l He has so many ag themed Christmas tree ornaments, he now decorates with a theme. Last year was all green (Valmar) ornaments. This year it's all orange. (Gaspardo, not Allis Chalmers.) He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He got tired of decorating a large tree every year, so he cut and welded outlines of a pine tree and bolted them to his grain leg tower. Added a few hundred thousand lights and now he has a tree people can see for miles around. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He started a metal shop with two other highly capable friends, and specialize in emergency oilfield repairs. They call themselves the "Steel Musketeers". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The local pizzeria likes to borrow his knife to cut pizza when he visits. However, if they use it just after he sharpens it, the aluminum baking pan can also end up cut into 8 pieces. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He engineered a snowblower onto the back of a Cat D6M, just to see if it could be done. It could, but it wasn't very practical. So he took it off and put it on the back of a Deere high speed dozer. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Just to keep his skills sharp, he backs up 4 wheel-steer wagons with a crab steer tractor. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He uses his old warped seed plates to supplement his dinnerware needs at large parties. Just a quick grind down on the center drive lug, some plastic welding filler in the middle and seed holes and he has a very unique table setting. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He once made a batch of chili so hot, that, even at room temperature, it would melt the cheddar cheese sprinkled on top. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His new farm in the Peace River area of Alberta has fields so long, it takes an entire tank of fuel to make a round. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His lawn is so thick and lush, you can actually walk on top of the grass. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

As an homage to his favorite lawn mower as a child, he turned an AgChem Terragator into a man size Big-Mow. Complete with powered front wheel and a belly mower fashioned out of a Schulte FX-742. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

The only time he has experienced heavy shoe loss in the fall is during his neighbors raging Halloween party. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His latest cologne creation was just sold to Chanel. "T4F Exhaust". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is on his way to Buffalo, NY to compete in a snow shoveling contest. To make it fair, he is just going to use his trusty tile shovel. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He has gotten so good at making Thanksgiving meals, he started challenging himself by measuring in new units. And some he made up. So far, he's eaten 3 rattan sticks of turkey legs, 8 dram cups of mashed potatoes, 4 cu/in-foot of pumkin pie and a yellow receiver globe of milk to wash it down. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

After one particularly grueling fall, his new 7088 had more separator hours than engine hours. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

He is so particular about the smoothness of his machines, he even has the warning beacon spin balanced. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

His fat cattle are so fat at market time, he needs to run a 3 axle Jeep on his 53' quad axle pot. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

If you had stopped by the shop during his Christmas party, you would have found his family playing Jenga with railroad ties. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

Just when his neighbors thought they had seen it all, he rolled into the field with a pull-type stackfold planter. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

- Ole Karstad



He likes to grease equipment in good clothes, and has somehow never had to refill the gun. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

- Todd Hosek



When asked if he would prefer acid wash jeans, he replied that "jeanetically modified" is not his style. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

- James Locke



The most interesting farmer in the world comes by it naturally. When planting with horses, his grandfather didn't have to stop and move the check-wire. Bud, his prized Clydesdale, would move the spool for him. His father was famous for his modified Farmalls. His blown 560 diesel could out-pull any 4010 (and a few 806's) at the county fair and easily handled 6-16's fall plowing 3rd year alfalfa, yet never took out a final drive or torque amplifier. He is the most interesting (living) farmer in the world.

- Thomas Oswald



He does not own a sprayer. He drives his custom-built high-clearance Ranger through his fields and the weeds wilt up and die within an hour. Insects do not come near his fields just out of respect. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.

- Marc Burggraff




Last updated: April 26, 2017

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