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He can load hogs onto a semi truck using only voice commands, typically in less time than it takes the truck driver to put his shit kicker boots on. Some say he has trained a herd of cattle to play soccer in the feed lot, but is being paid off by PETA not to show them publicly. A local bookie says the charolais heifers are winning most of the games this year. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He once built an auto-steer system for a tractor, just to show the other manufacturers how to properly build one. To this day, they cannot comprehend the simplicity. FFA women flock to him at the State Fair. He now tours the livestock buildings at the end of the day to minimize the disruption. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
In 2006 he set the record for "most acres plowed in 24 hours". He used a John Deere 4020 and a 5 bottom plow. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is no longer allowed to compete in tractor pulls. His tractor has pulled the hook and chain off of 7 skids. On more than one occasion, he has pulled the skid completely around the track and parked it at the start line for the next puller. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He once closed a bridge over the Missouri river despite not having a permit to do so. No fines were issued. Some say that he has discovered a way to put cancer into remission using a byproduct of corn ethanol, but he lost the patent to Barrack Obama in a game of Texas Hold ‘em 3 years ago. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
It was his idea to name the energy drink “Red Bull” by that name. Supposedly the idea was sparked from watching a Red Angus bull he owned that was, um, faster than the other bulls. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
In early 2002 he was in the UK, driving a rented Lamborghini Murcielago around an airport runway. The event was accidentally filmed. This marked the start of his run as The [black] Stig on the show Top Gear. He was replaced by white Stig after 2 seasons, as he didn’t like the frequent airplane trips to the UK. He is … the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has many connections with political elites, and thus has a lifetime exemption from the Tier-IV engine emission requirements. His new Case IH Magnum is scheduled to be built in January, and it will be the only one without urea injection. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He was once challenged to an insect eating competition by Bear Grylls. Bear forfeited after a round of fire ants. They are now good friends, and occasionally exchange recipes. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is not allowed at the Strip club in his home town due to an incident last year where all the strippers sat down at his table and ignored the other customers. Despite this, he isn’t bothered because “They weren’t as cute as the FFA ladies”. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he is bored, he does spherical calculus, just to keep his mind fresh. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has traveled to numerous third world countries to help them improve their crop production methods. In 2005, the US Congress voted unanimously to modify the Logan Act so it didn’t apply to him. Since then, he has negotiated with the presidents of 17 countries to make basic medicine readily available in rural areas. He is now good friends with Jakaya Kikwete, president of Tanzania. They play chess in January every year. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He used to ride bulls at the rodeo until he had a disagreement with the judges over his score. The videos later showed he was right, but the judges wouldn’t admit it. That was his last bull ride. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
After the rodeo incident, he decided to get away from the opinion of judges. He now does something similar to calf roping, except with large cats. Mostly mountain lions, but there is one picture of him next to a hogtied jaguar. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
In 2008, he found a way to use geothermal heat to pump water for flood irrigation on crop land. The patent was sold in 2010 to a pivot irrigation manufacturer that will remain unnamed, and they subsequently shelved it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Ever since a cattle branding incident at age 10, he has worn steel-toe shoes exclusively. Not surprisingly, he has never lost a game of kickball. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is on the EPA's do-not-ask-questions list. You probably didn't know they had such a list, did you? He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Some say that he has a field with a CSR (Corn Suitability Rating) of 107. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has been in New York City three times to meet with the United Nations. The details of those meetings will be declassified in the year 2057. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
The DOT has been known to pull him over and weigh his truck when they need to calibrate their scales. He always knows exactly what his truck weighs just based on how the engine is pulling. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Some say that in April 2009 he booked 10 years worth of off-highway Diesel. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His pickup truck is an orange 1982 Dodge Ram with a large super-charged engine. The truck is so fast that when he sees an accident about to happen, he can accelerate through the fabric of space/time and be past the accident before it happens. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he goes prowling for ladies at the bar, he brings his lasso. The ladies go wild when they see his calf-roping skills. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He can wear boots and a cowboy hat to a biker bar on a Saturday night, and that's just the way it is. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he was in veterinary school, he usually volunteered to take on tasks that nobody else wanted. He is one of only 4 people in the US that will do dental work on Alligators and Crocodiles. Many of the zoos around the country have his phone number on file in case of an emergency. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Ever pissed on an electric fence? He has, many times. Usually under the pretense of a bet with city folk. There is a trick to it - don't stand too close. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he mends a barbed wire fence, he doesn't wear gloves. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Someone once unsuccessfully attempted to mug him in Chicago while on a visit to the CBOT. The mugger was found in a park - hog-tied, immunized, castrated, and with a fresh cattle-branding burn. Despite being suspected of involvement, the authorities were unable to find a branding iron, and DNA testing on his pocket knife only found livestock DNA. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he goes to a land auction, he usually brings along his cousin Vinny. Word on the street is that Vinny has ties to the Mafia. What we do know is that Vinny is very good at sign language, if you know what I mean. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has written more books than Rick Perry and Mitt Romney combined. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Every vehicle he owns is 4 wheel drive, even his lawn mower. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Like many people, he enjoys snowmobiling in the winter months. During the winter of 2004-2005 he rode from Maine to Alaska, across the Bering Sea, through Russia, and ended in Germany. The trip was nearly 14,000 miles. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Some say that he has trained a herd of badgers to install sub-surface drainage tile. This is particularly useful during the growing season so at not to disrupt the crop on top. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He was once pulled over by the DOT while driving a combine on the road. He let the officer go with just a warning. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
PETA once held a protest at the entrance to his ranch. He grilled steak and sweetcorn for them, and they loved it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he invites a lady back to his place, it isn't to watch a movie. It's to make one. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Every harvest season, he intentionally leaves one bushel of corn in a pile in one of his fields that borders a paved road. It gives his neighbors something to talk about. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has delivered corn to the pit at the CBOT, and they accepted it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has been known to bring a knife to a gun fight, just to keep things fair. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He uses Google Earth to keep an eye on his herd. Google's satellite flies over his ranch every 87 minutes capturing new imagery. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Some say that Wrangler makes a special cut of blue jean just for him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Other than a lawn mower, his general purpose yard machine is an excavator. Need to till the garden? Get the excavator out. Need to trim the trees - excavator. Need to aerate the lawn? Excavator can do that too. Need to clean the gutters on the house. You guessed it, excavator. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
The Nobel Peace Prize organization has tried to give him an award for agricultural innovation in third world countries, but he has declined it, twice. He said humanitarianism is the reward. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
You know when China buys soybeans from the US - who do you think handles this side of the transaction? He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has an explosives license, which allows him to purchase and use dynamite. He claims it is for removing trees and rocks, but the neighbors say his annual 4th of July party is not to be missed. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
If you were to walk a mile in his shoes, never mind, that's not going to happen. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
The automotive sport of drifting is generally practiced using powerful rear-wheel-drive cars, although it is possible to drift many other types of vehicles. For example, it is possible to drift a 30,000 pound combine. I've seen it done. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He keeps an AR-15 and several thousand rounds of ammunition in his ROTH IRA. You read that right, in an IRA. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
The third business he started was making and selling scented candles ... for men. Scents include things such as 'Spring Tillage' and 'Diesel Exhaust', but his personal favorite is 'Fresh Cut Alfalfa'. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Have you ever overheated the shanks on a deep ripper by driving too fast in the field? The friction generated during tillage is amazing. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His autobiography ends with the line: "The cow did not survive the explosion." He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he feeds out a pig that he is going to butcher himself, he will supplement the pig's diet with BBQ sauce and hickory saw-dust. That is part of the secret to his famous BBQ pulled pork; the flavor goes all the way through. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Mexican drug lords will not go anywhere near his ranch in south Texas. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He doesn't go to Washington DC often, but when he does, it is a direct flight on a chartered airplane, and usually just for the day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
One time in college, prior to a class starting, he was using the white board to explain something to a few fellow students. The teacher came in to the classroom during the lesson, and without saying a word, took a seat with the other students. Class started a little late that day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he goes deer hunting, he doesn't take a gun, he takes a saddle. He catches the deer by hand, to give it a sporting chance. Then he puts the saddle on and rides it home. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
It has been said that a Halloween hay-rack ride at his farm is more fun than licking honey off of Katy Perry ... unless you can do both at the same time, which happened in 2009. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is no longer allowed at the 'Running of the Bulls' in Spain. The only time he ever attended, when the race was done, they were all steers. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He doesn't often bale idiot-cubes, but when he does, he stacks them 8 high to save time. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has won trophies for his ability to set a combine. In every test, his grain loss has been zero. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He once calculated the square root of Pi in his head using roman numerals, just to be certain that it can be done. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he is busy in the field, he sticks to simple meals that can be easily eaten on-the-go such as soup, BBQ ribs, fresh lobster, and buffalo wings. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Some say he has an IQ of 300, but that it doesn't show up in conversation because his mind is constantly calculating optimum nitrogen rates per square foot, based on statistical probabilities of rain and sun during the next growing season. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
You know those pictures where the US president and other top officials are sitting around a table for some important meeting? Ever seen a guy with Wranglers at one of those meetings? No, you haven't. The media isn't allowed into those meetings. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His tractor driving skills are so incredible that if you tried to record it with a video camera, the camera would overheat. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His resourcefulness was the inspiration for the TV show 'MacGyver'. He can start a fire with nothing more than toothpaste and rice. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
For Halloween he dresses like Jonathan Goldsmith. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He doesn't store corn on the cab roof of his combine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His dog has caught multiple raccoons, while chained up. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He once won a game of Texas Hold'em with a 2 and a 7. However, the pot was small, just 17 head of cattle. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
After he eats a meal in the field, he uses a foxtail stem as a toothpick. He has never had a cavity in his adult teeth. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His work truck has a PTO and four hydraulic remotes. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He built a grain vac that can move 20,000 bushels per hour. His neighbors call it the 'Nickelback'. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is allowed to talk about fight club, although he rarely does. He prefers to talk about things such as the effects of rising socioeconomic status on energy consumption in third world countries, multi-parallelism in embedded systems, and string theory. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When his combine stops working correctly, he reboots it, and then it works fine again. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He keeps a picture of his QuadTrac ... in his QuadTrac, so he can remember how awesome it looks while he is driving it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is the reason that beef is what's for dinner. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His pocket knife is the envy of solders around the world. His belt buckle, the envy of rodeo champions. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
If he submitted a resume for a graphics design position, printed in Comic Sans, he would still get the job. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he sees someone driving a car with low profile tires, he laughs. They usually say something about improved handling, which is when he shows them a picture of his 1923 J.I. Case tractor with rubber coated steel wheels. Then he shows them a picture of his Formula One car, and then asks them which one they think handles better. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Of all the commodities he deals with, the most valuable is his time. It is the only one that, once spent, he cannot get back. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Ladies say that he gives hot, fiery kisses that satisfy, yet leaves them wanting more. They also say that on a moon-lit night, he is the very definition of the word 'suave'. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
If he were in a James Bond film, the name of his character would be Mr. Goldacre. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he grills a steak, it doesn't need steak sauce. If you attempted to pour steak sauce on one of his steaks, you'd be bluntly asked to leave. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He buys Dodge Ram pickup trucks because of the 100,000 mile warranty. His current truck has just over 74,000 miles on it. It's 13 months old. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He shuts the combine off at 11:00 PM. After that he loads a truck with dry corn and drives 3 hours to the river terminal. He dumps the corn and parks in line to load dry fertilizer. By now it is 2 AM. He sets his alarm clock for 5:50 AM since the fertilizer place starts loading trucks at 6:00. By 6:30 he's loaded and back on the road. At 9:30 AM he's home, dumps the fertilizer, and crawls back into the combine. For him, this is just another day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
In his world, there are no weekdays. There are no weekends. There are only rainy days and sunny days. Except for Tuesdays, which is when he has a weekly conference call with the DOD strategists. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His Christmas tree is lit exclusively with Xenon lights. It will cast a shadow at 1 mile. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
In his mailbox is a large electromagnet, some capacitors, and some custom sound processing boards. When activated, the system listens for excessive bass levels and will blast a short magnetic pulse at the offending vehicle as it drives by. The resulting magnetic field produces a voltage spike in the car's radio, which makes the audio stop playing. He likes peace and quiet at night. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he goes Christmas shopping, it's one trip to Theisens. According to him, "If Theisens ain't got it, you don't need it". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He can swap out the rotor gearbox on a 2388 in under an hour, but that's a snails pace compared to doing an emergency sled rebuild for Santa while on the Christmas run. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world. Also, this year he noticed that Dasher is preggo and asked Santa who the bull was. Santa didn't know she was carrying and neither did Dasher. That was an awkward moment.
It is unknown how he rings in the new year. He literally drops off the grid during one of the last days of December, and turns up somewhere else 4-10 days later. Last year he had been missing for 5 days when he was found tuning a fleet of combines in Australia. The year before that, he was finally located in one of the rougher parts of Baghdad. He had apparently been teaching the locals how to make Lasagna and other Italian dishes. The year before that, he deboarded a LNG carrier at the Panama Canal on January 3rd. The ship's Captain reported that while they had been at sea for 15 days, this additional passenger showed up just 4 days earlier, and was of "significant assistance" during a severe storm that nearly capsized the ship. His undocumented travel activity drives the FBI mad, since they like to think they're pretty good at investigating stuff. They simply want to study his international travel methods to get new ideas for reducing the trade of contraband. The FBI has given him the nickname of Waldo Houdini. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
The last sporting event he was at was a game between the Green Bay Packers and the Chicago Bulls. Being the honorary guest, he threw the first pitch. In case you're wondering, the Packers won with 5-under-par. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He doesn't always stay up until the wee hours of the morning, but when he does, he is usually counting ridiculously large quantities of small, unmarked bills. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He rarely does Karaoke, but when he does, it is really something to see. There are stories about the time when he did a Bluegrass version of 2Pac's California Love, and the audience gave him a standing ovation. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Ford makes a special version of the F350 just for him. The most significant changes are a foot-operated hydro-stat transmission, 12,000 lb axles, and crab steering. The hydro is especially useful when plowing snow. It has a top speed of only 85 MPH, but can do that in both forward and reverse. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When the USPS is unable to deliver mail due to sleet or snow, they call him. He gets the horses and sleigh out of the barn and delivers the mail for everyone in his township. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He can provide so much cowbell that Christopher Walken once told him to turn it down a notch. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He actually bought one of those Balzer 2000 bushel grain carts. He needed a seed tender that could keep up with his planter. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Back in 2000, he heard about a new TV show called MTV Cribs. He bought a TV and satellite dish specifically so he could watch it. He was massively disappointed after seeing the first episode, as it is a show about houses, and has absolutely nothing to do with corn cribs. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His semi truck has a pair of 8 inch stacks. It will sing tune that is deeper than the average Skrillex track. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His financial statements can be printed in color on a black-and-white printer. There are no negative numbers, so no need for the red ink. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
There are a few phrases you'll never hear him say. Examples include "Where did I leave my sandals" and "I'll have a Bud Light". One thing you'll definitely never hear him say is "This tractor has too much horsepower". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
DMI is known for building tillage equipment that is considered "over-built" by many. Last fall, he pulled the hitch off his DMI chisel plow. He calmly welded it back together, along with enough steel that it won't happen again. He doesn't seem to mind fixing things, but he despises fixing something more than once. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He hasn't mowed the lawn in 2 years. He has trained a pet goat, Billy, to be the resident grounds keeper. Billy eats the grass down to a consistent height, often carving out unique patterns while he is at it. Think of the checkerboard pattern that is seen on baseball fields - it's like that, but far more advanced. Golf course managers have been known to visit to get new ideas. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His barn has been autographed by numerous playboy models. If you've ever seen a set with a hay stack or a horse in the background, it was likely shot at his place. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he needs to shred old financial documents, he runs them through his New Holland grinder mixer, powered by his International 856. Sometimes he will throw in a phone book or two when he wants to see some black smoke. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Every spring, he plants an unusual shape or image into one of his fields using a combination of variable rate technology and multiple hybrids, resulting in faint color variations during certain parts of the growing cycle. Google's satellite imagery team has an internal competition to see who can locate the image first. It's kind of like the game "Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego", but with crops. Last year he planted the world's largest QR code in a Kansas wheat field. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His house, barn, and main tillage tractor all have Twitter accounts. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
The seat in his planter tractor is a customized Aeron chair that has three-axis air-ride suspension. The cab has 9.1 surround sound and everything is leather wrapped, even the decelerator pedal. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
There is a Toyota Prius in his fleet of farm vehicles. People often chuckle when they see the Prius bouncing through plow furrows, but what they don't know is that it is an incredibly useful service vehicle. It has a welder in the back that is powered by the car's electrical system. He also has it wired to power his house and shop, in the event that the power goes out. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
In 2008, BMW had to abandon their marketing phrase "The Ultimate Driving Machine" when one of their design engineers had the opportunity to ride in a John Deere 8530 with ILS suspension. You-know-who brought the 8530 to the Nürburgring, not to set a lap time, but to smooth out the sand traps around the corners. Being a courteous chap, he gave a BMW employee a lift back to their pit area, but that ride changed the course of automotive history. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world. Supposedly you can still see the 20.8 R 54 longbar-longbar-shortbar tread marks around the south hair-pin corner of the track. He wanted to give the BMW development group a little something to remember him by.
While some farmers have an extravagant catwalk system connecting their grain bins, he has only a single half-inch steel cable strung between bins. Usually he just walks the cable to get from one bin to the next, but occasionally he rides a unicycle. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Some say that he has a sixth, or even a seventh sense. One thing is certain, fashion is not it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Over the years, he has won numerous livestock awards at the Iowa State Fair. While the ribbons are nice, it has also earned him international attention. A couple years ago, semen from one of his prize-winning bulls was used to AI approximately 100 heifers in North Dakota. Those bred heifers were then purchased by the government of Kazakhstan to build the countries' cattle herd. The cattle were shipped to Kazakhstan via UPS. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he gives his bank account number to a Nigerian scammer, they deposit money into his account. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
You've probably heard people refer to some place known as "the middle of nowhere". He owns a ranch there - says the yields are decent, but that it's a long drive delivering grain to the terminal. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
The Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz came from his farm. He also owns a couple fields along the yellow brick road, although it's really more of a tan color these days. Apparently it's quite sun faded. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
In the early 2000s, he needed a combine with more capacity than anything available on the market or in development. He eventually bought a pair of 2388s and connected them together side-by-side. The left chassis had to be disassembled and rebuilt mirrored so that the clean grain elevator and all drive sprockets would remain on the outside of the machine for maintenance. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
For him, New York is a "fly over" state, on his way to farm shows in Europe. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
If you ever get invited to his place for dinner, don't be surprised if he cooks up a batch of his famous redneck lobster. Basically it is walleye fillets boiled in Mountain Dew. Most people claim it is the best lobster they've ever had, until they find out it isn't lobster at all. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His banker's name is J. P. Morgan. Yes, Seriously. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He plays his music loud, loves to feel the bass. However, he only listens to new music in the afternoon when the going is good. Once the sun starts to fade and the dew starts to set, he goes back to familiar tunes so that he can hear anomalies of his machine through the music. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He doesn't often go golfing, but when he does, he likes to get birds. Not birdies, but literally he aims for birds flying near the ground between himself and the hole. Got two crows and a score of 3 under par on the last 18 hole course he played. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Some say that the pupil of his left eye is shaped like a John Deere logo, and that the pupil of his right eye is shaped like an International Harvester logo. Few people notice because he is usually wearing sunglasses, even while indoors. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has a black denim suit that he sometimes wears when he attends a formal event. It includes a duct-tape bow-tie and he has some chromed quarter-inch bolts for cuff-links. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He likes to visit the casino any time it is Friday the 13th. Claims 13 is his lucky number. He has even rolled a 13 on the craps table once. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He sometimes carries a wallet that is attached via a chain. He uses 3/8" grade 100 alloy chain for this, mostly because anything smaller is useless in his opinion. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He can determine the pH balance of soil by grabbing a hand full and running it through his fingers. It's like checking the moisture of corn with your hands - you can get pretty close once you've done it enough. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
There is a new un-opened bottle of Fast Orange in his farm shop. Dirt never seems to stick to his hands, so he hasn't needed to open it yet. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he makes ham and potato soup, there is so much ham and potato in it that you can eat it with a fork. He calls this "country style" soup. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He once took over control and landed a 747 after the flight-crew became incapacitated due to food poisoning. Some credit his intuition and cool head, but he also stayed at a Holiday Inn Express the night before. He later claimed the experience was similar to operating his self-propelled sprayer. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He can get a bit frustrated when farming a field he recently bought. Those fields still have rocks in them, where as the fields he has owned for several years have the rocks buried deep enough that they're no longer an issue. You see, his farming practice adds 1-2 inches of top soil every growing season, which eventually brings everything above the level where the rocks are. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is so good at operating a tractor, he once drove through a parade in reverse, pushing a float built on top of a hayrack the entire way. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
One time when installing tile in one of his fields, his trencher hit a large rock. They dug it out, and loaded it onto a truck. It was over 10,000 lbs and about the size of an ATV. He drove the truck into town that night and dumped the rock at the main intersection in town, gave it a quick bath in diesel fuel, and lit it on fire. The sheriff and other locals thought it was a meteorite. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He hates operating a mold-board plow due to the speed constraint. For example, at 15 MPH, the dirt flies three furrows over and the plow shears overheat in about 10 minutes. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He's so handy, he can fix stupid. He says it does require some special tools though. An electric cattle prod, some duct tape, two 100lb suitcase-weights, and a round-nose shovel. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
So you put 22" wheels on your Escalade? That's cute. He runs 54" wheels on one of his tractors. Six of them, and that's just the rear axle. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He wears Caterpillar shoes, a John Deere hat, and a Claas jacket while driving a Case IH tractor pulling a Kinze planter. For him, this is the definition of 'multicultural'. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He may not talk much, but his actions speak louder than words. Even the President likes to fly by to see what's going on during planting and harvest. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Back when he was in grade school, he acquired a John Deere G tractor with a grenaded engine from a neighbor. He removed the engine and converted it into a pedal tractor. The rest of the tractor still functions normally, including the PTO and power steering. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he's out in the field, he wears sunglasses around the clock, mainly because they are also safety glasses. This trend has now spread to other industries, most notably musical artists. Few know where the trend started. He coined the phrase "The sun never sets on progress" but others say "The sun never sets on cool". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He owns several sections in MN that are mostly consumed by lakes. The property taxes are low because there are few tillable acres, but that's perfect because he bought the land specifically for the lakes. His fish hatchery division operates there. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
You'd never know it after the corn is up, but he doesn't have markers on his planter, nor does he have GPS on his planter tractor. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
- Lance Lefebure
He proudly displays American flags on every single piece of equipment he owns; they can be seen waving even on the calmest days with no wind. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Tougher than Chuck Norris. Smarter than Steven Hawking. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is so knowledgeable when it comes to plant breeding that Monsanto lets him save his seed for next year. They've even been known to borrow a few ideas from him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has the world's first and only nuclear-powered grain dryer. Some say he built it with the knowledge he gained while working on the Manhattan Project. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He finally retired his second planter after many years of service. It was an 2 row John Deere equipped with row clutches, hydraulic drive, and an Insight monitor. It was pulled by his team of Clydesdales; that is, when they weren't busy delivering beer. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
- Dave Delhotal
He once plowed an 86 acre field with a 2 bottom plow and two mules and still milked 24 cows by hand, all in one day. Not to mention he was home for a nooner. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Rumor has it that it's not the fact that he is heavily armed and has expert marksmanship but he has personally trained Texas Longhorn cattle to sniff out narcotics and take down anybody with them. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He once took his 535 horsepower tractor equipped with 800/70x38 -R1 Radial tires and a full set of front and rear weights to a burn out contest at a muscle car show and won the trophy! He is ... the most interesting farmer in the World.
As a kid he bought all of his school clothes from the local Farm & Fleet store. By special request and just for him they even fixed him up with his Prom Tux. To this day this is the only Tuxedo ever made by Carhartt! He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He produced the Roundup Ready Gene used in most of today's corn and soybean hybrid's as his 6th grade science project even though his science teacher told him it was stupid and He would never amount to much. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Other Farmers go to Farm Show's just to follow him around to see what he is looking at cause they know if it interest's him it will be the next breakthrough in Agriculture! He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His chicken feed ration that he mixes up on his farm for his 100 million flock of chickens is the real secret ingredient in KFC's recipe. Colonel Sanders' only secret is the farm he buys his chickens from. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he purchases a new piece of farm equipment it is not uncommon for him to pull it in his shop and completely dissasemble it and make several modifications of his own before taking it to the field. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He was combining one of his smaller wheat fields (1800 acres) on a hot July day in Eastern Colorado. His 11 year old nephew Duke was running the tractor and grain cart for him. Duke accidently dropped his Cuban cigar and the field caught on fire. The nearest fire department was 70 miles away. Having no more then a couple of water jugs full of drinking water he had no choice but to FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE. He always knew it could be done and proved it that day. By the time the fire department arrived the fire was out and he had combined several more truck loads of wheat. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefer's Grain Belt! He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When Nashville Country music song writers are looking for a new song. They call him and he will look at his surrounding's from the tractor seat and make up a country song in seconds. He has also done some rap songs for Snoop Dog & Dr. Dre but the lines were too risky for even them. However every Fall Snoop Dog comes to his farm to run a combine and they have been known to kick some free style in the barn in the evening's while kicking back a few Grain Belt beers. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
In 2009 Ford Motor Company specially built him his new F-350 pickup truck. It was built on a H1 Hummer frame and had a Cummins Engine and and Allison Transmission. He bought it at the local GMC dealer. It sounds confusing but you just got to know him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Despite his super busy farming lifestyle he has been known to plant several of his neighboring farmers corn fields for them in the spring. They think he is doing this simply because he is a nice guy. Truth is he is doing it so he doesn't have to look at the crooked rows of corn they usually plant all summer as he drives down the country roads. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Looking for a faster way to speed up corn silage harvest on his 620,000 head cattle feedlot in Western Nebraska. He bought a fleet of large Cargo jets. He installed higher speed blowers on his Class forage harvesters and blew the silage up into the specially made silage bed's on the aircraft. When full the jet would fly back to the silage pile and dump the load at about 15,000 feet. Dumping this high also packs the silage pile very tight eliminating the need for packer/blade tractors. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He once entered an ATV Freestyle Jump competition with a small Kubota tractor! The crowd was amazed as he aced such tricks as the Superman, Cliffhanger, and an Indian Air. However he came up a little short on the Double Back Flip mixed with a Saran Wrap and had to settle for Third Place that day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is worth tens of millions of dollars. Most would never think that if they seen him walking into his smalltown bank in his wranglers, ripped up flannel shirt and scuffed up shit kicking work boots not to mention his really simple way of life. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Every fall he puposely does not harvest one field of corn within a 5 mile radius of his farm. This gets all the neighboring farmers talking that he is farming way too many acres and cant keep track of all his acres. He just laughs and will come back and combine the field the following March. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He built and perfected an on board grain dryer system on his combines where he pipes heat from the exhaust manifold to the clean grain elevator of the combine. It is capable of drying corn down 6 points from the bottom of the clean grain elevator to the top. He is also working on an additional dryer in the unloading auger. Combine manufacture's fear him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
At 16 he took his drivers license test in his grandpas Kenworth quad axle truck with a 30' Meyer Big Boss silage bed. At 21 he took his CDL test with a Mack Semi truck hooked to a combine trailer loaded down with a Gleaner R-72 combine with dual wheels. He then hooked up the header trailer behind that with a 45' MacDon draper head and since he was also going for his Haz-Mat he hooked the fuel trailer behind all this. The liscense examiner was impressed when he backed this all through the cone course then parallel parked it in the down town region of Dodge City Kansas. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He once hosted the Wisconsin State Farm Show on his farm in Crosby North Dakota and had record attendance from the Badger State that year. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he was 17 he completely rebuilt the engine in his Grandpa's Gleaner N7 combine in the field using nothing more then a 12'' crescent wrench (aka Kentucky Metric wrench), a Swiss Army knife and a tube of JB weld to repair the hole in the engine block. The machine now runs like a raped ape. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He wear's spurs on the back of his shit kicker cowboy boots even though he very seldom will ride a horse. He has them on all his foot wear even right down to his Nike tennis shoes and his slippers that he wears around the house on winter evenings. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
On Friday he attended a Versatile Tractor meeting in Des Moines Iowa. He was chosen out of the crowd and given the key to start up the new tractor. The crowd was in awe as he throttled up the new Tier 4 QSX15 Cummins turbo charged engine with air to air aftercooling. Women in the crowd were cheering his name. He just gave the crowd a head nod, He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He gets all his mens health tips from Farm Journal Magazine. Its a special edition printed just for him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is so full of farm DNA that the beard he grows on his face every winter is Roundup Ready. If you were to drive a tractor on his face the tires would have stubble damage. He is... the most intertesting farmer in the world.
Although he really has a thing for dark haired/dark eyed girls. He has dated many celebrity women such as Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. However several of his X ladies have often turned to alcohol and drug abuse after they figure out his love for the land and tractor horsepower is many times greater then it could ever be for them. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He can drive one of his many tractors to the local Asian Buffet and is served his Favorite Mexican Entree by the Norwegian owners all with valet parking. He has been served Chicago Style pizza in Italy. Served a New York strip steak in restaraunts that serve a Kansas City strip. He once even celebrated Christmas on Easter Island. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He drove one of his Gleaner Super 7 combines with a 12 row Gerringhoff corn head From his Illinois Farm all the way to New York City to drive it in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade as a tribute to the American Farmer. He took Interstate 80 the whole way. He is one of few farmers that authorities can not touch for driving farm machinery down an Interstate. He will change into a Pilgrim outfit shortly before the parade starts. He is not expected much TV time though due to the fact that he has a Ron Paul 2012 bumper sticker on the back of his combine. On a good note though Guinness Book of World Records will be on hand to acknowlege him as the only farmer with an EZ Pass mounted to the windshield of his combine for the Toll Roads .Katie Couric has invited him over for Thanksgiving Dinner afterwards but he is going to Cracker Barrel instead. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His Varmint Weapon of choice to carry in the tractor with him is an 1862 Gatling Gun. He has much better control of the Coyote and Groundhog problem he used to have on his farms since switching to this over the Kentucky long rifle. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has a pair of signature chrome cowboy boots that he will only wear on the most special of occassions. His high school graduation, his Ag Tech school graduation, his wedding and the occasional Arbor Day party. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
One day while chisel plowing a field near the small town of Geneva Indiana with his Versatile 575 and Krause Dominator he noticed the shanks pulled up a large steel box from the ground to the earths surface. After stopping the tractor he discovered it was an old safe. He took his Garber pocket knife and some WD-40 and was able to unlock it. Inside he found what was believed to be the first rough draft copy of the Geneva Convention. Other misc. items included a document in Swahila language (Kenya) that appears to be Barack Hussein Obama's original birth certificate (I knew It), An autographed copy of Babe Ruth's rookie card and proof that spider eggs were not used in Bubble Yum chewing gum to give it that real soft texture. He also discovered an 8 track tape of a duet song with George Strait and the Notorious BIG. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he goes deer hunting in Ohio he attaches a bayonet to the end of his Remington 12 gauge shotgun just in case he would have a rare but not so uncommon encounter with a mountain lion, wolverine, or even possibly a bengal tiger. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
The dual wheels on his dually pickup truck are set to run 30 inch rows. He has an auto steer and yield monitor mounted in his pickup truck also and with a few modifications it comes in handy when he enters a truck pull. Only he can understand how that works. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
It's a known fact his lasso and calf-roping skills can win him about any woman in the world. However, he is a member of such popular dating websites as Match.com and Eharmony but it's not to meet new girlfriends. He has successfully found much available farmland via those websites. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has never set an alarm clock his entire life. Yet he is awake early enough every morning to go out and wake the rooster up for it to do his goodmorning crow to the world. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
One day while checking fields on his Arizona farm he spotted 4 muslim extremists trying to declare Jihad on a large dam used to supply irrigation water to much of that area. He approached them and cursed them out in arabic. He gave them two choices. First he would hog tie them up and call the authorities or hard labor on the farm, They chose the farm work. He loaded them on a cattle trailer and sent them to his brothers farm in Iowa where they were soon put to work pitchforking cow shit from the heifer and steer pens. After 2 weeks the 4 men were eating sausage and bacon for breakfast,pork chops for lunch and bacon wrapped pork medallions for dinner. They were also soon wearing Wranglers,going out to honky tonks and digging country girls. They are also now convinced Farm Journal Magazine is the new Quran. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He grinds his own coffee beans. 135 bushel's at a time that is using his Gehl Grinder Mixer and Case IH 7220 tractor. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He not only climbed Mount Everest! He grew a field of corn on a flat area near the top that still made 156 BPA. Al Gore changed the word Global Warming to Climate Change after he learned about this. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has been to the Big Texan Steakhouse in Amarillo Texas many times and ordered the 72oz Porterhouse Steak Dinner Challenge just for an appetizer followed by the petite Filet Mignon for his main course. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His Christmas light display burns more electricity then his 3.4 million bushel grain storage and dryer set up uses during peak harvest time, and 80% of his display is the new energy saving LED lights. Al Gore is okay with this because he is using the so called GREEN TECHNOLOGY! During the month of December airline pilots often mistake his Illinois farm for the city of Las Vegas. He has a No Fly zone over his farm. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He did a little bit of test work for Boeing on the 747-8 when it first come out some years ago. Although it was not as manueverable as his line up of crop duster planes he still rigged up a spray boom for it and took it to a field with a few power lines going through it. Something didn't feel quite right so he landed the large aircraft and gave it a quick coat of turtle wax. This made it just glide through the air and he was able to crop dust any field with it and make the tight turns required. He has since bought one and built a cattle rack for the inside. This allows him to quickly haul cattle back and forth from his Montana Ranch to his Wildarado Texas feed yard. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he was in 3rd grade he was checking out his Grandpa's new combine. He took and read the entire operators manual several times. The section on grain loss and setting the combine really got his attention. Even though nobody new he was doing this he went out to the field and walked several fields and was checking for grain loss and realized they were losing 0.85 BPA in corn and 0.89 BPA in soybeans. In the morning before school he would tell his parents he was going jogging and sneak over to the combine and make minor adjustments for the better. After school he would check the field again. After a few days he had the grain loss down to 0.00000001 BPA. Only a few of his close friends and the local priest were told about this and the priest knowing his grandpa told him to leave it a secret. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He once put all new disc blades and bearings on his 46 foot Krause disc and never set his coffee cup down with his other hand. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
In the winter season when he is not so busy he likes to go to the local tavern on karaoke night. His good friends Toby Keith, Alan Jackson and Jason Aldean often go with him and do back up vocals for him. Even his X girlfriend Katy Perry shows up at times and plays the tambourine while he is singing. Often times Katy leaves the bar with him and they drive the back country roads and talk about things like soil compaction, tillage practices and the farm markets. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has been asked multible times to host presidential debates on his farm. He always kindly says NO and that he has better things to do in his spare time such as play Chinese Checkers with his daughter. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Folks say He is pretty good at drinking beer. Truth is He's pretty good at everything he does. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He once went to court in a custody battle over 82 Angus Cattle. When he walked in the court room the judge stood up in his honor. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
After losing a bet to Donald Trump and Hugh Hefner at a Christmas party at the playboy mansion a few years ago he either had to be a Wal-Mart greeter for a week or pose in Playgirl magazine. Since he didn't have a week to spare being a greeter he chose the magazine pose instead. He did not have to use his real name and went by the alias Shetland Pony. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Not only does he harvest the crops that he grows. He also harvests his own fossil fuels on his ground down below the earths surface. He built his own drilling unit out of a Danuser post hole auger and some wooden poles used on the Mayflower. He then took things a step further and built his own oil refinery out of several old galvanized hog feeder's combined with some old wooden bunghole barrels then hooked up a De Laval milking pump and pipeline system and topped it off with a bunsen burner, an exhaust system of a wrecked Toyota Prius and a Where's Waldo book. He is still not considered Green by Al Gore standards because he did not use any John Deere parts to make this work. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He once attended a Jason Aldean concert and was doing a little line dancing mixed with some break dancing moves during the song "My Kinda Party" This caught the attention of several females in the crowd. Shortly after fights started breaking out between the ladies when a rumor got started he was giving out backstage passes to his farm and 10 lucky girls were going to get his signature cattle brand on their butts. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
While getting his horse and sleigh ready to take in town to give rides for the local Christmas social gathering he got to thinking about an auto guidance system to steer the horses. Before you knew it he pulled an Ag Leader auto steer system out of one of his tractors, mounted the GPS receiver to the top of the horses head. made a few driving maps of the route in town and it worked perfect after some slight calibration work. This allowed his hands to be free while giving the sleigh rides to do other things like juggle oranges and serve coffee to the riders. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
It's been said on here before that his corn maze is almost impossible to solve even from the air. Well the other day when he went to harvest it lets just say even he had great difficulty and he planted it and had the field mapped. After quite a battle he fried the micro processer in his guidance system on the combine, his tractor/grain cart operator got lost 3 times in the field while chasing down the combine and he found a family of 5 in the middle that had been missing since October 30th and had been living off corn and rain water seeking shelter in tents made of corn stalks. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is one of few that actually knows what Victoria's secret is. Since he is not the gossip type he will not share that secret either and just for that Victoria made an exclusive Victoria Secret FFA jacket for his girlfriend back when they were in High School. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Every Christmas Eve when he is done feeding all his cattle he will mix up a special batch of feed for Santa's Reindeer. It includes corn silage, baled alfalfa hay, grain, mollasses, and is topped of with some carrots and candy corns. While the reindeer are eating this late night snack Santa will come in and wake him up. They have milk and cookies together and talk about things like grain futures and good looking women that made Santa's naughty list. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
PETA members often show up at his annual Christmas Party. Not to protest but rather to enjoy the fine Hors D'oeuvres that are served. They especially enjoy the Beef Wellington,Pork Medallions and the Rocky Mountain Oysters. Two years ago several PETA members showed up early to help butcher the beef cattle and hogs. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
It is not uncommon when he wakes up Christmas morning to find 6 pallets full of Dekalb seed corn bags around his Christmas tree. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Lots of folks think because he is a farmer he is not up with the times or modern technology. Funny cause back in 1995 he used to talk about his Motorola 4G bag phone and nobody knew what in the hell he meant. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
The only thing the FBI knows for sure is when he does drop off the grid at the end of December, he is leaving the farm with his 2002 Chevy truck and snowmobile trailer loaded down with his Mountain sleds. They also know this 2002 Chevy trucks meets tier 4 emmissions and does not have urea injection or a DPF with EGR. They also know he has once rang in the new year in every time zone around the world all on the same day. They later learned he was even traveling on the same plane as the FBI agents that were investigating his travels from zone to zone. Other's claim to have seen him snowmobiling in the mountains of Idaho and Tug Hill New York on the same day. Or in a karaoke bar in Tokyo Japan using his stage name Myron or El Conquistador, Or in Los Angelos acting as Vince Neil and Fergie's designated driver. Or at Chuck Norris's New Years Eve party. Others swear they seen him in a bar in South Dakota partying with Brock Lesnar and playing the puching bag game often scoring a higher punch then Brock. Some also believe he is just hiding out in his own living room Rocking around the Christmas Tree and watching re-runs of Walker Texas Ranger. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
All of the livestock on his farm have their own facebook. They update their statuses regularly. Because of this he has the best livestock health records in the world. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
In the winter months he can often be found out in the woods cutting firewood with a chainsaw in each hand while listening to that famous Jackal song "Lumberjack" on his Ipod. He has been known to cut, split, and stack up to 117 cords of firewood in one day, plus get all his farm chores done, and still enjoy some snowmobiling in the evening. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has a snowmobile with a 3 point hitch and PTO. On winter weekends he hooks up to his post hole auger and can ride out on the lake and drill holes in the ice for some ice fishing. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has fulfilled his 2012 New Years resolution back in 1997. On January 4th of this year he has already completed his 2024 resolution. This is further proof that world is not really going to end later this year. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is one of few guys that can go into an establishment (gentlemens club) and leave the place with a lot more money in his wallet then he walked in with. Strippers often pay him to have the opportunity to grind on him. When he goes to the Bada Bing Club in NYC to have his annual meeting with Tony Soprano he walks out with a suit case full of $100 bills. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has been known to tame the meanest of full grown Holstien Bulls with nothing more then a 6 pack of spotted cow beer, a pack of Red Man chewing tobacco and a picture of Lady Gaga. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He eats breakfast at McDonalds twice a year just to be certain that the so called cage free eggs they serve taste exactly like the eggs from caged chickens. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has a 4 wheel drive two wheeled motorcycle.(Yea that's right) He is the only guy that has rode with the Hell's Angel's in cowboy boots,wranglers,a western shirt topped off with his dinner plate rodeo belt buckle and suspenders and lived to tell about it. When he is dressed like this women are often singing that ZZ Top song "Sharp Dressed Man". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
If he wanted to, he could tell a line of bull shit that Barry Obama, Joe Biden, John Kerry, and Al Gore would be very jealous of. He could even do it without a tele-prompter. The only difference is he expects people not to take his BS serious and that he is kidding even though he can be rather convincing. (Like the Dos Equis guy, his words carry weight that would break a lesser mans jaw). He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
If you seen all his picture perfect farming practices and record breaking yields no matter what mother nature throughs his way you would then understand why all his neighboring farmers are convinced he is the man responsible for hanging the moon in the sky. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Hollywood wanted to make a movie about his life as the most interesting farmer in the world. He no way had time to play the part. Several actors such as Nick Nolte, Duane Chapman, Eric Cartman and Pee Wee Herman wanted to play the part. WikiLeaks even said Barrack Obama wanted to step down a President if he could play the part. This would be great for the country but no way was this farmer going to destroy his reputation like that. He finally blew his cool when he heard Chaz Bono wanted to play the part as people would then take her (it) serious about becoming a real man. He said the only actors even close to being wothy enough to play his part would be Stone Cold Steve Austin or Tommy Lee Jones. He later said in the small town coffee shop his part could best be played by his good friends Mike Less, Lance Lefebure or Ole Karstad but they would not have the time to to this either. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He can update his Facebook status using a CB Radio that he has mounted in all his trucks and tractors. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
After hearing all this talk about this show called Jersey Shore he decided to watch it one evening. He was rather dissapointed as with a name like Jersey Shore he was certain it had to be a show about a dairy farm that raised Jersey cattle in the small town of Jersey Shore Pennsylvania. They kept talking about these girls that were DTF well they did not look like they were DOWN TO FARMING to him. The only thing he even seen that was close to farming was a Jersey heifer named Snookie. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
At 14 years old he punched out a 1950 lb Charlois Bull cold that was pawing and snorting at a crowd of people at the county fair. Even Chuck Norris was impressed. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He was banned from Twitter 37 minutes after he created an account. There system did not have a chance keeping up with his every move. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
During a severe drought on his Western Oklahoma farm and after several failed attempts of a Native American doing rain dances. He noticed a Hurricane that was in the Gulf of Mexico and heading for Alabama. He successfully called the hurricane off its course using a coyote mating call. After dumping 16'' of much needed rain he sent the storm back on its way to Alabama. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His organ donor card list the Cummins QSX 15 Liter engine out of his Versatile 575 tractor. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His Farm Dog (Clyde) doesnt bark, he speaks plain English, has a degree in Agronomy, is on the farm payroll, is a registered Republican and pays property tax on his dog house. If you would happen to catch Clyde chasing tires he would have a tire gauge or torque wrench in his mouth checking air pressure or wheel bolt torque. He is ... the worlds most interesting farmer.
He is the only person in the world that has clear, high resolution pictures and video of Bigfoot. He has seen Bigfoot walk across his farm several times. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
After leaving an antique tractor parade on his prize Minneapolis Moline G1000 Vista he did a burn out for the crowd. This got the local yocal policeman fired up and a high speed chase began. He eluded authorites on his G1000 as speed's reached upward of 18mph. Where he lost them was when he turned into one of his farms. The air chase had to end as he has a no fly zone over his farm. Authorities went to the county judge for a warrant and the judge said No Way! He said he is not going to bother the #1 property tax payer in the county over a burn out on an antique tractor. Beside the judge was there cheering him on at the end of the parade. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He once had a hydraulic pump go bad on one of his older tractors. He removed the pump and took it to the local Emergency Room. One of the top surgeons rebuilt the pump. They turned the bill into his Health Insurance provider and they paid it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He can bale up perfect 4'x4'x8' square bales of hay with his 5'x6' round baler. He is ... the most intersting farmer in the world.
As many of us already know he is constantly looking for new ways to improve his farming operations. He has never been satisfied with the quality of steel and the premature wear on tillage parts. He did a little lab work and found an amazing way to add life to high wear parts like disc blades, chisel plow, and field cultivator shovels. Having read that watermelon has many of the same ingredients of viagra he made up a mixture of the two and heated it. He then dips the parts in the solution and had made chisel plow shovels so hard even Chuck Norris can not break them with 3 roundhouse kicks. He has field cultivator shovels that were dipped in the solution with over 150,000 acres on them that show NO signs of wear. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is the only farmer in the world that raises several thousand head of cattle yet has no fences on any of his farms. His cows just know his grass is greener and would not dare leave the property. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Farming big acres requires many hours sitting in the seat of a tractor and combine which means his Wranglers probably have more seat time then most. He also understands the importance of stretching out and keeping the blood flow going. For this he will stop what he is doing and crank up that LMFAO song "Party Rock Anthem" every couple of hours and do the "Shuffle" right in the field. Neighboring farmers report seeing him doing the Shuffle on the cab roof of the tractor or combine, the feed bunk in the cattle yard and even on top of his 160 foot tall grain leg. Others report he has re-programmed the TCM (Transmission Control Module) and his Raven Guidance System in his Versatile 575 to go through a series of turns and forward and backwards movement to the song "Sexy and I Know It". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is so good a ballasting a tractor that he can keep his wheel slip under a 1/4% even while pulling his Nuhn Quad Train tankers full of cow or hog manure in a foot of snow in the rolling fields of southern Columbiana County Ohio or the extremely terraced terrain near Lawton Iowa. He also has to be extremely careful while doing deep tillage work in the fall as with his tractors getting such good traction and his chisel plow shanks not tripping he could easily pull the earth off its Axis. He is not only the worlds most interesting farmer, He is ... the worlds most amazing farmer.
Fast Food Restaraunts near his hometown have re-worked there drive thru's wide enough for his big tractors and combines to fit through in hopes that he will visit them for a meal. Although he does enjoy Fast Cars and Fast Women the same does not hold true for Fast Food. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Sometimes when he attends Farm Shows he just wants to look around and not be bothered by pushy salesman or any other folks for that matter. For that reason he will go to the show wearing his classy sleeveless Makin Bacon T-shirt along with some bib overalls and velcro tennis shoes. Top that off with a straw hat have a piece of fescue hanging from his mouth. This usually does the trick as nobody gets withing 30 feet of him. Others report seed and chemical companies hand him envelopes of cash when he is walking through the show to get him to use their products. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has never played Farmville on Facebook. He has no reason to as he lives and breaths the awesome, never-will-be-published version everyday of his life. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he wants to speak his mind to top Whitehouse officials he has walked right in all the way to the Presidents desk past Secret Service Agents showing nothing more then his Pit Pass from the Fort Recovery Ohio Tractor Pull. He later told friends this is a waste of time as he usually finds Obama and Biden playing Candyland and wont listen to him anyway. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
In the winter months he is asked to go around the plains states and speak to groups of other farmers on various agricultural topics. While attending one of his daughters cheerleading competitions he was asked to speak during the awards ceremony when the key speaker did not show up. He got a little side tracked when he got on stage and looked to the crowd and seen someone with a John Deere hat on. He started speaking about tillage methods and pesticide use in third world countries and oddly enough the cheerleading crowd became very interested. Next thing you know they were doing cheers for him and cheerleading moms were throwing themselves at him. It was a little bit of an awkward moment for his family that day but they now understand what makes him so intersting. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His 5000 cow dairy barn and milking parlor has been featured on MTV Cribs. The pen area where the Holstien bull's are kept is believed to be a cattle version of the so called Jersey Shore Smush Room. Rumor has it another episode is coming featuring his swine farrowing barn. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is so good at driving a combine he can maneuver it through a 30 foot wide barn door with the 45 foot wide header still attached to the machine, "blindfolded". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Occasionally in the Winter he may go to Perkins for breakfast to shoot the breeze with other farmers. However to ensure he is getting the best nutrition for his body he brings his own farm fresh eggs and pork sausage for them to cook for him. He demands the best nutrients for his livestock and crops and cant take chances on his own body. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Shortly before Valentines day back in 2007 DEA raided his farm after detecting growing lamps coming from a 100x250 machine shed. Agents where somewhat ashamed after finding the shed full of roses under those growing lamps that he was growing to make a flower boquet for his lovely wife for valentines day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Although he has a newer Chevy truck parked in his garage with hardly any miles on it, His Farm Vehicle of choice is an older White Ford Windstar Mini Van or his Kubota RTV. In the summer he is sometimes even spotted scouting crops on his Polaris Victory Motorcycle. He is ... the worlds most interesting farmer.
He once contracted ringworm after handing a load of cattle he bought out of lower Alabama. He rid his body of the ringworm by going to Quaker Steak and Lube in Council Bluffs Iowa and eating a Full Bucket of triple atomic wings with a peck basket of freshly picked habanero peppers on the side. He washed all this down with two large bottles of tobasco sauce and a bottle of George Dickel bourbon. It just so happened Adam Richman was in the restaraunt filming an episode of Man vs Food but the episode did not air as all the attention turned away from him and to the farmer instead. When folks see the "Atomic Wings Survivor" bumper sticker on the back of his farm truck they know he truly earned it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Like most farmers he owns a sprayer for control of weeds and insects. As a matter of fact this guy owns several sprayers. Pull types, Self propelled and a few crop dusters. Being a steward of the land and a true enviormentalist he tries to limit the amount of pesticides on his crops. With the help of the United States Immigration Service he successfully deported millions of European Corn Borer and Japanese Beetles back to their native land. For this reason alone now Canadian Geese fly out of their way to avoid his farms for fear of being deported themselves. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He knows 1000 ways to love a woman. 999 of them involve his Signature Cowboy Hat. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Shortly before Valentines day back in 2007 DEA raided his farm after detecting growing lamps coming from a 100x250 machine shed. Agents where somewhat ashamed after finding the shed full of roses under those growing lamps that he was growing to make a flower bouquet for his lovely lady for valentines day. After finding only roses and no marijuana plants he recieved an apology letter from the DEA and local law enforcement. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
As he awakes at his Ranch in Valentine Nebraska. Valentine's Day is just another day. See he doesn't buy into all the hype and nonsense of this made up holiday that attempts to guilt men into spending money on flowers that were imported from another country and will be dead the next day or a card that says a bunch of BS that no one will remember, and was printed in a third world country with lead in the ink. He just does what he does every other day. Works hard and provides his special lady with a very good life as a result of all his hard work. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
The day before the National Farm Machinery Show kicks off in Louisville Kentucky the tires on his Chevy Duramax Diesel can be heard rolling Southbound out of Indy on I-65. He is pulling a 48 foot Tri-Axle BBQ grill that he built in his shop years ago. Behind him is two of his Farmhands with a truckload of hickory firewood and a refrigerated trailer full of rib-eye steaks and Grain Belt Beer. When he arrives at the show he sets up in the back parking lot and serves up food and beer for all his tractor pulling and farmer friends. The show staff does not like him doing this as he takes away from there concession business but cant really do anything about it as he does it all for free. And they know if he didnt come to the show it would have a large impact on the crowd. The tractor pullers like to question him on what tire pressures they should run based on the soil density on the track. Farmers like to ask him his thoughts on the new machinery on display at the show. They know his two cents worth is really worth Millions. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is the chosen one to cut the ribbon at the opening of the National Farm Machinery Show in Louisville Kentucky. What? Didnt know they had a ribbon cutting at the start? Very few do. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Pizza Hut will always guarantee him a 20 minute delivery time on pizza. Even when he is working in fields 60 plus miles out of town. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Back in 1979 while in middle school he was eating a box of cracker jacks. When he went to pull out the prize it was just a bit heavy. To everyones suprise he pulled out a John Deere 4440 tractor. He almost got suspeneded from school as the principal thought he drove one of his fathers tractors into the school . He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He installed duals on his Case IH Quad Trac Tractor. He renamed it the Octo Trac. He ended up in court over this as the Octo Mom tried to sue him cause his tractor was getting more attention then her. She even took it a step farther and tried to sue his tractor for child support. After hiring a good attorney she lost the case to him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Once a year he will stage a fake breakdown with his Chevy truck just to make his friends who drive Ford's and Dodge's feel good since they are often broke down and hooked to the tow truck several times a year. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
A few times in his life while traveling the country his truck has broke down in a rural part of the country. While waiting on a tow truck he has been known to pull out his binoculars to look for wildlife such as coyotes, mountain lions, and bigfoot. Everytime he ends up seeing a "for sale" sign in front of a nice piece of farmland. After being towed to the Chevy dealer and waiting on his truck to be fixed he can be found with the realtor purchasing the prime farmland. The odd thing is within seconds of paying and signing the contract his phone rings and its the Chevy dealer telling him his truck is ready to go. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
This time of year he is extremely popular at the County Courthouse. Its that time of year to pay property taxes and with all the land he owns that is lots of money for the county. He once hauled a semi trailer full of One Dollar bills to the courthouse to pay his property taxes and paid it one bill at a time to the "Hot Looking Receptionist" in the County Treasurers office as she danced on a brass pole. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He once attended a Farm Equipment meeting in San Antonio Texas when he was introduced to a Rural Saskactewan girl who was a Friend of a Friend of a Friend who we will call "Jenn" It wasn't her very blue eyes or long blond hair that caught his attention when they started talking about farming but "Jenn" mentioned something about a couple of thousand acres of prime farmland for sale near her hometown. Now she had his full attention. Later in the evening at a Karaoke bar he spotted this girl in the crowd when he just so happened to be singing that Restless Heart song "The Bluest Eyes in Texas". Shortly after this one thing lead to another and lets just say a land contract was written up in the bar that night and he will be farming a few more acres in Western Canada. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Rumor has it he leaves his farm in the upper midwest every year towards the end of February and drives to Texas just to purchase 3 new pairs of shitkicking cowboy boots. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has forgot more about farming then most farmer's will ever know. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Although he is not a fan of operating farm equipment under the influence of alcohol. He has been know to drink one Grain Belt beer from the seat of the combine during harvest as the sun is setting across the prairie all while listening the that Jason Aldean song "Fly Over States". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Things dont always go his way and occasionally he may have a bad day. However he doe's not blame George W Bush but rather just deals with it and moves on. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He can improve an air conditioning system in a tractor, combine, semi, or pickup truck so good and so cold that if you opened the windows when it was raining out, it would turn the rain to snow. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he is driving a semi around the farm he usually wears one of those chain drive wallets. However he dont have one with a short little chain on it, His has a 35 foot log chain. This way if the semi gets stuck he always has a chain on him to get pulled out of the mud. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Restaurants that display old western wear and antiques around their place like to buy his old cowboy boots for these displays. They say his old boots show wear patterns and scuff marks on them like no other. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
You always hear all kinds of rumors and theories as to how he continues to grow perfect crops with record breaking yields year after year. One such theory is when he leaves his Texas Farms to head back to the Midwest his pickup truck is covered with Texas soil and he washes it in a field when he gets home. Mixing this Texas dirt in with the Midwest soil improves the Gene Pool of the soil to a point that scientists cant even explain. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
On his Farm he has a 2200 lb. Holstien Bull that drinks beer, smokes cigars and like to play poker. It goes by the name "Big Shooter". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Rumor has it that every year on his birthday he dyes a few more of his beard whisker gray so he looks more his age. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His iPhone has an app that can change the engine oil in his fleet of trucks and tractors. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has such a Positive attitude about everything in life that when he buys new batteries for his trucks and tractors the battery manufacturer removes the word Negative from the battery. These batteries seldom ever go bad. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
One summer day while he was out spraying soybeans in his Air Tractor AT-602 yellow cropduster airplane he was hungry for some Sizzling Chicken and Shrimp from TGI Fridays. He flew and landed this plane at the C Councourse at the Minneapolis St. Paul International Airport and went inside to have his favorite dish. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has one of those GPS devices in his truck. However his device doesn't speak, it listens, He tells it how to get somewhere. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
This time of year he is busy tuning up his equipment for the planting season ahead. He will often go into town to get parts and stop for lunch at the local cafe. Women often walk by him while he is eating and tell him he smells good and ask what kind of cologne he his wearing. He kindly answers hydraulic oil or diesel fuel. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he was a baby his first word was "Agriculture" He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He once punctured a tractor tire when he ran over a rusty old steel fence post that was buried in the field. He fixed this tire on the spot by removing the steel post from the tire, plugging the hole with a mixture of bubble gum and sunflower seeds. He then blew the tire back up from some hot air coming from an Obama speech that was being played on the tractor radio. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Although it is too early to be planting corn in the Midwest, on a warm sunny March day like today he will get his tractor and corn planter out of the barn and park it in a field near a busy intersection, just to get all the other farmers talking. He is ... the most intertesting farmer in the world.
Some clothing company named Abercrombie & Fitch sends him a new pair of jeans to wear on the farm everyday. After he wears them for a day he sends them back and they sell them for Big Money. They say he can put rips, holes, and dirt marks on a pair of jeans like no other. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
They say in the spring of the year when he gets rid of his winter beard that a large horsepower tractor and a heavy duty brush hog mower are involved and pushed to their absolute limit. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has been involved in the breeding of Jersey cows though artificial insemination or lining up a good bull. However, he is NOT the father of Snooki's baby from Jersey Shore. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
One winter day while he was a little bit bored he brought some scrap steel into his shop and started welding up a platform using some old grain bin sheets and a cat walk that was destroyed in a tornado. He topped it off with an old combine ladder and added an upright pole in the middle of it using an old stainless steel milker pipe. He put it on Ebay and sold and delivered it to some establishment in the Midwest where girls dance on the stage for dollar bills. He later started getting threatening phone calls from the girls that dance on this stage as they claim the clubs patrons seem more interested in the fine welds and craftsmanship of the stage then the dancers. To make matters worse a picture was taken of his truck and trailer in the parking lot of this establishment the day he delivered the stage which could now prevent him from ever running for a political position. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Athough he is not an Irishman and does not own much for Green Equipment he is asked to pull a float in the local St. Pattys Day Parade with his 1977 John Deere 6030 tractor. Grain Belt also sends him a 12 pack of a rare green beer they brew to drink at home after the parade. He has even been known to date an Irish woman for a short time this time of year. He is ... the most intersting farmer in the world.
Some folks have called him a racist because he does not Like Barrack Obama, Truth is their is several white politicians he does not like either. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He rarely watches college basketball. March Madness to him is getting all his tractors, planters, tillage, and spraying equipment tuned up. Making sure all his seed, fertilizer, and spray chemicals have all been delivered to him and that everything is 100% ready to go for the upcoming crop planting season. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is not much of a biker but he has a rare collection of Harley Davidson T-shirts. His Harley shirts list towns that you would probably not see on anybody else such a Johnson Kansas, Crosby North Dakota, Cheyenne Wells Colorado and Beltrami Minnesota just to name a few. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His favorite music is Country and Rock-n-Roll but after long days on the tractor he has been known to mix it up a little bit with stuff like Will Smith "Gettin' Jiggy Wit It" , Men Without Hats "The Safety Dance" and Maestro "Table Dance", Also they say on the 25th of every month he may listen to a Christmas Song as he counts down how many months it is until his favroite holiday. His Ipod is thought to have the biggest variety of types of music in the Midwest. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
You know that sound Cowboy Boots make when walking on a wood or concrete floor? His boots have a very unique sound of there own. Something like the beat of that George Strait Song "Cowboys Like Us". His boots even make that sound when walking in the dirt. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
We all know he has a thing for those good looking country girls. He has a few other turn-ons as well such as dual tires on the front of MFWD tractors, combines with duals and Maurer bin extensions, triples on articulated 4wd tractors, heavy duty grill guards on the front of 4wd trucks, and large displacement diesel engines. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Although he is not the fighting or violent type. He once went 8 rounds in the octagon with Chuck Norris and had one hand tied behind his back. After the match they shook hands and Chuck went home to rest and he went home and unloaded 21 loads of baled alfalfa hay, shoveled 5300 bushels of corn, and then dug a 1/4 mile long drainage ditch 6 foot deep with a hand shovel as a cool down. After this he enjoyed two grain belt beers and called it a day. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has been banned from Southern California after he had a mix up on some paperwork for a load of bulls for a rodeo and ended up on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills. They say things have never been the same in Beverly Hills that afternoon he rolled into town driving his chromed out black Peterbilt pulling a large shiney aluminum cattle trailer. The sound of that Cummins ISX15 liter turbocharged motor caught the attention of such movie stars as Angelina Jolie and Jordana Brewster. Both ladies even asked him for a ride when he stepped out of that "Big Rig" in his Ariat Boots, Wrangler jeans, and cowboy hat. They say since that semi ride things have been kind of rocky between Anglelina and Brad Pitt and she is now wearing lady Wranglers and voting Republican. As for Jordana, lets just say she is no longer into the "Tuner Cars" she drove in the Fast and the Furious and has a thing for large displacement diesel engines. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
In the spring of the year when the birds migrate back to his farm from the south they must pass through Nashville Tennesee as when they arrive they are chirping his favorite country music songs. This year the flock of birds must of spent some time in Mexico as they were chirping away what sounded like a Mariachi Band. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He usually buys a few new tractors every year but seldom trades in any old ones. He firmly believes their is no such thing as having "too many" tractors. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Although he has a smile on his face 99.9% of the time they say that smile gets a whole lot bigger this time of the year when he gets in the field with his high horsepower tractors. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
In his service truck he carries a big long handle Snap-On 1'' drive breaker bar for keeping the lug bolts and nuts tight on his tractor and combine wheels and disc gang axles. Some claim it is so long and shiny that girls have actually danced on it for dollar bills. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He once took a roll of rusty old barbed wire and made a soft "Goose Down" pillow out of it with his bare hands. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
As a kid when he would get his 4H hogs for the upcoming county fair he would fill in the starting weight of the animal. After about a week and months before the fair weigh in they say he would fill in the final weight based on the feed analysis and the hogs genetics. He was never off by more then a 1/3 of a lb. He was not quite as good at this with his 4H steers as he was off by 2 lbs one time. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
It may not always be easy being the worlds most interesting farmer even though he makes it look that way. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
As a boy he always had a fascination with cutting down trees and chopping wood. He used an axe and by age 4 he would sneak his dad's chainsaw out to cut down some trees. By age 8 he was just not happy with the horsepower of chainsaws and custom built a saw with a 6 cylinder Waukesha diesel motor and a 48' bar. Kids in school started calling him Paul Bunyan and would always ask where his Blue Ox was. He quickly shut them up when he drove his blue Ford Versatile 1156 tractor to school. The 1156 was the ox of tractors in its day but he named the tractor "Brutus" as he already had a smaller blue ford TW35 tractor named "Babe". He is... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His Farm Fresh Eggs are in high demand this time of year. People at the grocery store claim they are "hard to find". His chickens lay colored eggs. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Every year around Easter he runs an ad in the local city paper for an Easter Egg Hunt in his fields - will pay $10.00 hour where he tricks city folk into picking up rocks thinking they are Easter Eggs. Some of them folks get all excited cause they think they are "Cage Free" & "Organic" eggs. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
We all know he has been growing carrots for the Easter Bunny for many years. To show his appreciation the Easter Bunny always delivers a different chocolate replica in his basket. He has made such things as a chocolate barn, pitchfork, and cowboy boots. Last year he made him a chocolate replica of his Versatile 575 Tractor and this year it was a chocolate Agco 36 row corn planter with tracks. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
The secret service has visited his farm on numerous occassions all because he will not accept Barry Obama's friend request on Facebook. Often times they ask him for a job on the farm so they do not have to return to Washington D.C. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
The term "Man Cave" just pisses him off. But... If he has a supposed man cave it would have to be the cab of one of his tractors or combine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He once bought a 160 acre field that had a heavily wooded 1/2 mile long fence row. He was feeling a little creative one day and took his Stihl chainsaw and cut every tree off at a 42" height. He then came back and carved out a perfect picket fence out of the 42" high stumps for the entire 1/2 mile. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he hauls a load of grain to the local grain elevator all the other farmers pull out of his way and let him to the front of the line, just so they can say they breathed the dust left by his semi and grain trailer. They also like to see what a quality grain sample looks like as he dumps. Some claim the test weight of his corn is so good he has bent the grates on the dump pit. He is ... the most interersting farmer in the world.
He once irrigated a field of corn using Fiji Water just to see if it really was better than well water. The field actually yielded 24 bushels per acre less. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He had Kinze Vision long before Kinze had Vision. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He always likes a good laugh and that is why he is often listening to some of his favorite comedians like Andrew Dice Clay, Dave Chappelle, and The Jerky Boys. When he is looking for something a little more unique to make him laugh he just goes to the Wal-Mart in Richmond Indiana on a Friday night. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Things other farmers do that just piss him off. Overfill the grain bin on the combine and spill corn all over the cab roof and leave it there the rest of harvest, Guys that go out and buy a 3/4 or 1-ton 4-wheel-drive diesel pickup and never haul a load with it or even take it off the blacktop, Farmers that do not plant straight rows of corn or plant around big rocks in a field rather then pick them up,guys that do not remove the weights of there 4wd tractors for spring tillage then complain about soil compaction. Or listening to the guy that says "The farmer is always getting screwed", just to name a few. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
A couple times a year when he is really pressed for time he flys out West to get some farming done out there. When he goes to Dollar Rent a Car at the Denver airport he always gets upgraded from a compact SUV to a 4x4 truck complete with a long bed, tool box, CB radio, and a heavy duty grill guard. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Jesse James rebuilt one of this choppers (Claas Forage Harvester that is) dressing it out with many billet aluminum accessories just to have his name mentioned on one of these quotes. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Occasionly when going on a trip he may fly instead of drive.When flying over the central USA he is often invited up to sit with the pilots. As they fly over the fields they talk about farming and watch tractor videos on Youtube. Some times they even let him take control and fly the plane just to show some of his moves like he is in one of his crop dusters. He is so smooth most passengers dont even notice. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He grew up on a farm in Western Nebraska. After high school he left for college and years later went on to become a surgeon. He worked in a hospital in a large city in Texas fixing up gunshot and stab wounds on victims. Several of these a day. He did many heart surgeries as well. After 20+ years of this he made his money and was tired of all the regulations. He moved back to that small western Nebraska farm that borders Colorado where he can walk out in his yard and look in all directions and see nothing but fields and no other houses. He is 15 miles from the closest town. He prefers to just stay under the radar. He and his family are living "The Good Life" now or some may say "The Odd Life". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Some say he is the only farmer in the world that has "Moves Like Jagger". He was told this after a group of ladies from the city seen him operating his Claas Jaguar 960 forage harvester while wearing a pair of cowboy boots with spurs,wrangler jeans,a cowboy hat and sleeveless t-shirt that said "precious" across the front. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
A group of Hippies stopped by his farm in a old Volkswagon van and was wearing Tie Dye Bob Marley Shirts. The called him dude and asked if he could grow some crops for them cause they heard he was a good farmer. He kicked them off the farm for several reasons but they kept saying Happy 420. He thought they were talking about his restored 1957 John Deere 420 tractor. He later googled 420 and found out different. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he is going through security at the airport, things happen a little different when walks up to the checkpoint. First off, TSA hears him coming because his cowboy boots have a sound of their own and they open up a new line for him. He is not required to remove his cowboy hat when he walks through the scanner, but he often does because the brim of his hat rubs the sides of the scanner. He has also been seen walking through security with a 3 day old hereford calf in one hand and a case of Grain Belt beer in the other. The steel of his rodeo belt buckle and spurs would destroy the metal detector so they just turn it off for him. They know he means no harm and it is an honor for him to be at the airport as he often prefers to drive. The female TSA agents dream of him walking through security naked and would love to have a reason to pat him down. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has a very unique group of followers on Twitter. It includes people such as Lil Wayne, Captain Crunch, Dennis Rodman, Jennifer Aniston, Cher, Sponge Bob, Johnny Knoxville, Dee Snider, and Smokey the Bear. Not to mention several other farmers and thousands of beautiful country girls and cowgirls from all over the USA, Canada, and Australia. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Although he is pretty open minded he refuses to let his kids watch Barney "THE" Dinosaur! He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Being a great Steward of the land he is always looking for ways to improve soil health. Even when it comes to his pasture land. For this reason he bought one of those Tye drill's called the "Pasture Pleaser". He also bought a large soil aerator which is a drum with finger welded on it to poke holes in the land. He did not like the layout of the fingers and torched them all off and welded them back on in a series of two fingers close together followed by a smaller/single finger. He called this great invention "The Shocker". Years later a rock band named Steel Panther wrote a song called "The Shocker" that had absolutely nothing to do with a soil aerator. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He once built a grain storage bin capable of holding 66,000 bushel out of Lego's. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Not using his Harvestore Silo's anymore he converted one of the 80' tall one's into a rain gauge. This way he is ready for any storm Mother Nature thow's his way. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he is out traveling he dont always stay at a Holiday Inn Express, Wait a minute yes he does! And its not for the so called "Free Hot Breakfast" He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he is busy in the fields planting he has no time for downtime. In fact he wont hardly stop the tractor to take a leak (AKA urinate) Now to speed things up he has converted over a Boeing 747 with diesel fuel tanks,fertilizer and seed tenders. He then added some highly precise GPS equipment he bought from a farmer near Fairfax Iowa and can now keep his tractor's and planter's filled from the air so they don't have to stop to fill. Some also claim he is working with a retired Nascar pit crew that can actually wait at the end of the field and grease the tractors and equipment as it is making turns on the end rows. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
One day a business traveler in a suit pulled out of the Cedar Rapids Iowa airport after he missed his flight to Minot North Dakota. He was frustrated over this and made a wrong turn out and ended up on a gravel road west of the airport that started with an "L". (cant remember the rest but it was 8 letters long) Anyhow he seen a farmer with a John Deere hat on working ground in a Case IH STX385 Quad Trac. The frustrated business traveler stopped and asked this farmer for directions. Cant remember the farmers name but I think it also started with an "L". Anyhow again the farmer gave him such good directions that he drove to Minot and beat his flight by twenty minutes. Not only that he also told the man his rear passenger tire was 3 PSI low on air and one of his cylinders had a slight miss in it. He aired up his tire and dumped 8 ounces of Lucas fuel conditioner in the mans vehicle and sent him on his way. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has no tattoo's. He is plenty cool without them. However when he is going for a motorcycle ride and needs to put on a "Bad Boy Image" he wears a sleeveless Wrangler denim shirt and just wraps a rusty old piece of barbed wire fence around both biceps. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he heads to the field they say he packs quite the lunch in his plus size Igloo cooler. He likes to be prepared for about anything. Just to name a few one may find several roast beef sandwiches, 6 apples, 4 pickled eggs, a 12 pack of Pepsi throwbacks, a Bear Grylls survival knife, a colt 45 revolver with several hundred rounds of ammo, a five gallon bucket of hydraulic oil, an extra wireless router, several USB thumb drives, and a Karaoke machine. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is known for doing the work of 3 men. Some wonder how much more he could get done if he did not carry a camera. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His grease gun does "NOT" run out of grease while laying stretched out under a farm implement reaching for that hard to get grease fitting. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He took his own profile picture! This is not really a big deal but what confuses people as he posed for that picture at 36*27'16.50N 100*48'15.89W is that both his hands are in the picture and neither shit hook had a camera in it. He did not have a tri-pod on him. A motorist that was traveling on that highway just north of Perryton Texas that hot July day claims he looked out in the field and seen an incredible looking man in a cowboy hat leaning on a front dual wheel of a Versatile 280 tractor and throwing a camera up in the air and posing. Others claim he found an Angus bull to take the picture. There was another rumor going around that a girl from Canada took it. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Moving large farm machinery down the road can be hectic at times. It can be even worse when on a state highway when motorists are trying to get to work or Yoga class. when he has a chance he pulls over to let these motorists by which often results in having them all show you the "Middle Finger" as they go by. He doesn't get upset about this he just has a strange way of getting even. When his work is all caught up he will put on his striped bib overalls and get in his 1977 3/4 ton Dodge Power Wagon pick up and go drive these roads during the busy hours with speed topping out at 32 MPH all while chewing on a toothpick. However unlike in the tractor he does not pull over and let them pass. He can cause quite the traffic backup all the way to the city limits. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Several years ago he won the Kentucky Derby with his prize Belgian draft horse "Big Jim" Although "Big Jim" is not your typical race horse he has been known to piss like one. This race was also won with Big Jim pulling a 4 bottom moldboard plow. Big Jim is known for working hard all day as long as he is fed a bucket of oats in the morning. After this race Big Jim was seen hanging out in the Winners Circle enjoying some Makers Mark bourbon on the rocks. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Cetain times of the year he has been known to shed several pounds of bodyweight because the manual labor load increases around the farm. However the special brand of work clothing he wears with the help of a new APP on his phone lets his clothing adjust with his ever changing physique. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
- Mike Less
His relaxed pose puts his visitors at ease, but his boots and simple garb say, "I'm in charge". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has turned large rocks into productive soil using his own brand of C-4 explosives. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He rebuilt his favorite pickup from the ground up, using a 680hp diesel engine, all billet drivetrain components, custom rattlesnake leather interior and a paint job that won the Ridler Award in 2010. It is now his sole transportation for evenings to the theater, symphony and charity events. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is the only man considered worthy by Chuck Norris to play him in Chuck Norris: The Movie. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has a massive collection of rare agricultural machinery including Rudolf Diesel's prototype engine, the first Dain tractor, the first reaper of Cyrus McCormick and the original steel plow of John Deere. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His experience on his Montana cattle ranch led him to be the sole security guard on Slayer's 1987 "Reign In Blood" tour. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He once won the Pikes Peak Challenge in a modified JD 8530 with IVT, prototype 13.5L engine and shaved pulling tires. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is the chief consultant for many major motorsports teams due to his uncanny ability to blueprint and build engines based on sight and sound alone. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He discovered a crashed P-51 on a hike through the Scottish Highlands. Restored and rebuilt in his converted barn, he went on to win 4 World Championships in the Red Bull Air Racing Series. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Anytime he works in the shop, he wears his signature white coveralls. And they always stay winter white, fresh and clean. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His farm once hosted the New York City Marathon and he subsequently invented controlled traffic farming. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Aliens have visited his farm numerous times in an attempt to learn the secrets of his crop circles. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His corn maze is impossible to solve, even from the air. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He hikes the Appalachian Trail to get into shape for his walking crop tour of the Midwest. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He won the Silver State Classic Challenge in a D5 dozer and left nary a mark on the pavement. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
The National Ploughing Association had his Grand Prize winning furrow bronzed. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He threw a bachelor party for his hired man that was the envy of George Clooney, Sean Connery and even Dennis Rodman. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Through intense algorithim research, he is able to plant fields by only lowering the planter once and with zero overlap. This gives him 100% planting efficiency. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His operating loan and line of credit comes straight from the Fed. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is often urged to run for office, usually at the behest of the current office holder. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Sometimes ladies are treated to a special event at the end of a date. Of course, it helps he knows when, where and what colors the Aurora Borealis will be that evening. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He had his operation recreated in 1/128th models. To be at any larger scale would be impractical. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He installed retractable spikes in his truck tires for times when 4WD isn't quite enough. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He constructed his grain setup out of high strength acrylic, so as to keep an eye on grain flow at all points. The centerpiece is a 200' freestanding grain leg with a levitating manlift for easy servicing. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
The BLM is considering turning all their grazing decisions over to him. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
NASA sometimes uses his flooded rice fields to test radio telescopes across the United States. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
In dry years he can water his fields by reversing his drain tile flow. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has the only K Computer outside of Japan. It is used to model weather patterns over his fields. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he throws out the first pitch at a local ball game, he makes sure the catcher is wearing ALL of his safety gear. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has no particular brand of equipment. This allows him to get in any machine and run it flawlessly. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is on the speed dial of both Jon Kinzenbaw and Vaughn Bauer. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He can glance at a Rubik's Cube for a moment, turn out the lights and solve it in total darkness in under 2 minutes. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He once won a game of Jeopardy by correctly answering questions like, "How many ounces of hydraulic oil can a 1982 Steiger steering ram hold?" and "What are the names of Saturn's moons in alphabetical order?"
The Research Station at the South Pole asked him to provide fresh food for them during the summer months. He used all his excess truck chrome to focus the sun on the soil in the vegetable patch, making a crop even Florida would be jealous of. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He counts Itzhak Perlman and Nolan Ryan as two of his closest friends. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His headquarters is the most searched-for address on Google Earth. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
One year, after an especially long fall, he single-handedly won back to back 24 Hours of Le Mans races. One for Team Peugeot and one for Team Lexion. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His ringtones are not what you expect them to be. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Despite their modest appearance and out-of-field use, his trucks always manage to win top awards at the I-80 Truckstop show. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He turns all his scrap steel into works of art, to be sold and the proceeds given to charity. His last piece was a full size replica of the Statue of Liberty. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is in high demand this time of year, due to his whip-cracking skills during the orchestral song "Sleighride". Equally impressive is his skill cracking both left and right handed. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has been known to open his shop to Santa Claus when the reindeer need a break or if Santa needs his leather repair skills. Did you know tightly woven cornstalks can replace any kind of tack? He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He causes quite a stir when he comes to vote during the 2012 Iowa Caucus. All the major networks are there to get video of him leaving the polling place. Alas, they never do get good video of him. He just blends into the background, even when walking alone. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
The end of the year gifts to landlords include his own special artisan chocolates and caramel. Made with ingredients from cacao trees and sugar cane grown in the backyard greenhouse. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
The Svalbard Global Seed Vault is just a secondary bank to the main one, which is located under his potato farm in north central Idaho. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
As they wrote folktales about John Henry, they too, will someday write about him. Though, instead of driving steel spikes on the rail, it will involve leveling a mile of levee. His eye always beats any dozer with RTK. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
With spur climbers from his lumberjack days, he can tarp a 53' flatbed trailer of hay in under 3 minutes. Under 4 if the winds are over 40 MPH. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
When he goes shark fishing, he only brings his lasso and a hook from his towing business. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is lobbying hard to have Pluto reclassified as a planet. His plans are to terraform it with his prototype strip-till/interplant unit toolbar. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He traced his family history back 1,000 years. No surprise to him, his ancestors were at every major breakthrough. From the cultivation of sugar cane in India, the multi seed tube drill in China, the Industrial Revolution in Great Britain and synthetic fertilizer in the USA. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Whenever he is in the city, he stops by open mic night at the club. His humor is always about country life, but everyone gets the jokes due to his careful crafting of the words. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He can catalog any parts warehouse with just a few index cards and his trusty Rubbermaid 18 gallon tub. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His newest shed is a nod to the old ways. All steel building with mortise and tenon connections, pegged together with all his leftover hitch pins. (His tractors have ball hitches now.) He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His truck odometer reads out to 7 digits and his tractor hour meter reads to 6 digits. (Not including the .1). He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has trained his circadian rhythm to be in sync with UTC. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His office is decorated with taxidermy from his travels around the world. Pineapple from the Phillippines, hogs from Mississippi and seaweed from the Arctic. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
All of his debate notes are written on the back of a single 3 X 5 index card. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He had a FLIR installed in his truck, that shows on the HUD. This will insure his streak of never hitting anything on the road, day or night. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is the only non-employee allowed into both Deere and CIH R & D Skunkworks buildings. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Every entrance into his house has its own mudroom and clean up area. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is able to scratch out QR codes in the dirt with his boot. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His agronomist, local coop and testing lab have confirmed he can do soil sampling by smell alone. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Once a year, the Goodyear Blimp comes to fly him above his fields for scouting. While up there, he takes the time to create a current oil painting of his home farm. If you buy enough tires, they will come and fly you around for free, too. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has tactile transducers in his couch cushions so he can fully appreciate all the YouTube farm videos he watches in the winter. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has no use for beads during Mardi Gras. The ladies are just compelled to "show off" for him as he makes his way from bar to bar. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
No one in the history of the world would ever think to ask him, "Excuse me, but are those Bugle Boy jeans you are wearing?". He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Every 4 years, he spends his Leap Days giving answers to the most perplexing questions of mankind. Red or green, Dodge or Brand X, white wine with fish, when to wear spurs, how to respond to ladies, Speedo or trunks, plant more corn or soybeans during a La Nina event, etc. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He sleeps in his race car bed, with custom farm-themed sheets. Size? Iowa King, of course. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
On every equinox, he balances a different item on his kitchen counter. Last year it was an egg sunny side up. This year, he is going for a challenge. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His new grain leg doubles as the local airports windsock tower. Standard DOT issue sock, 3' by 12'. The windsock frame is held down with some 5/16" bolts leftover from a special Sperry New Holland planter he ran in 2010. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He uses a special bamboo leaf rake to level wet concrete. Then flips it over to float and smooth the surface. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has a few "muscle" tractors from the 1970's that are still under extended factory warranty. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His farm cloud has its own cloud. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
It's that time of year again, income tax and audit time. The IRS is hurriedly preparing all their necessary papers, readying for his visit. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He once dug a 40' tile trench in 10 minutes. In a Case 580K 4 lever backhoe. With one arm tied behind his back. Actually, he didn't use either arm. He just wanted to know how dexterous his feet could be. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He gets nearly a million hits a day on his farming blog. However, no one but the keenest reader knows the info is from his previous years' blogs. A farmer has to have some secrets, even in this day and age. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
As is sometime the case, he must give regrets to wedding invitations. Though he will make up for it in the form of hand carved cake toppers. Made from burls cut from his backyard African Rosewood tree. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His Skywarn Spotter training started at age 4. He's been to the center of many hurricanes. Some say he can hear hail clacking around upstairs at 50K feet. He's been known to smell tornados coming from a mile away. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His new grain leg doubles as the local airport's windsock tower. Standard DOT issue sock, 3' by 12'. The windsock frame is held down with some 5/16" bolts leftover from a special Sperry New Holland planter he ran in 2010. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He had an old fashioned barn dance last week. Being such a beautiful night, he opened up the hydraulic swing door. Seeing an opportunity to really make a statement, he fashioned some railings around the edges of the door. He asked some of the beautiful ladies to dance up there for the crowd. The tin and frame never wavered an inch. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Even at night, he can tell if a piece of chrome or stainless steel has fallen off his truck. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He has not had to change a shovel on his field cultivator in 3 years, thanks to his welding technique. The wire is a special twisted strand of his own concoction and a .99 opening on his gun end. He is ... the most interesting farmer in he world.
His bartending skills can be attributed to his chemical engineering background. Some of his more well known creations are The *Adjuvant, Poly-Ortho Herbicide and The Bi/T Triple Stack. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
His lunch cooler has as many stamps and stickers as his passport. The TSA uses that more often to ID him than his drivers license. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
You'd think he had been voted "Most Likely to Succeed" in high school but you would be wrong. That accolade was bestowed on him at 2 days old in the hospital nursery. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
Every May 1st, he decorates the Maypole. His Maypole is a 1200' radio tower. His tractors run an iTec Pro program devised by him to braid together 10 strings of colored strobe lights. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He is the wizard behind "Uncle Neptune's Organic Rainwater". Apparently, the runoff from the north side of his barn has really good properties. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
The US Army Corps of Engineers renamed Lock and Dam #13 in honor of him for all the business he brings there. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
He once won the Pillsbury Bake Off with his made from scratch brownies. Of course, made from scratch to him means grinding the wheat flour, refining his greenhouse sugar cane and roasting the cacao beans. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
- Ole Karstad
The most interesting farmer in the world comes by it naturally. When planting with horses, his grandfather didn't have to stop and move the check-wire. Bud, his prized Clydesdale, would move the spool for him. His father was famous for his modified Farmalls. His blown 560 diesel could out-pull any 4010 (and a few 806's) at the county fair and easily handled 6-16's fall plowing 3rd year alfalfa, yet never took out a final drive or torque amplifier. He is the most interesting (living) farmer in the world.
- Thomas Oswald
He does not own a sprayer. He drives his custom-built high-clearance Ranger through his fields and the weeds wilt up and die within an hour. Insects do not come near his fields just out of respect. He is ... the most interesting farmer in the world.
- Marc Burggraff
Last updated: May 16, 2011